my son wants to get custody for his son

JBD

lwc86 wrote: »

Hi op

Im very new 2 this site & i can not believe some of the replys you have had to this,infact it makes me cringe.

My mom always taught me if you dont have something nice to say dont say anything at all, You are asking for advise about legal aid & certain people on this site are having ago at your parenting skills, they must have such perfect lives

I dont have any advice to offer you, I just wanted to say well done for trying to support this grandchild, and good luck, im sure your son will do a great job at bringing up his child with your help and support x

I was simply questioning what the OP said in her 1st post, ie that her son was 'tricked' into pregnancy. Part of parenting male children is to make them aware of their own responsibility in avoiding pregnancy and not simply dumping the blame onto the female. So yes, I do consider that a parental responsibility. And I do have sons so I do consider it my responsibility.
If he did use a condom and it split then they were both unlucky. However the OP did not say that in her 1st post.

BeccaBell

Sounds to me as though the babies mother needs some help (not from her own who comes across as a bit of a mess herself.

Tweetie I can understand your concern for your grandson, but it sounds like to me his mother is depressed and needs help. The "I cant be bothered" attitude may be disinterest or laziness but it also might be something worse. Her own chaotic upbringing mixed with perhaps feeling like a failure to her son (her mum overfeeding and you obviously being the most responsible carer) is reason enough for concern. I know there are women out there who have no affection for their children but (I hope) they are few and far between.

space_rider

Tweetie pie, you used to be able to make an appt at a solicitors that display the legal aid sign for about an hour, don`t know if that is still the case now. Last time I did this was about 4 years ago. I looked through yellow pages for sols dealing in child issues.

Catblue

OP, I was going to write a harsh reply about how you are sheltering your son from his responsibilities.

Then I read your previous thread about splitting with your partner and all the troubles that has brought you, so I won't.

I know that you are just trying to help in a very difficult situation.

However, you need to think about your own health here also. Are you absolutely sure that you can take care of a baby practically full-time? You also have a grown up child, but two other dependent children living with you, right? You are under a lot of stress right now and bringing up a new baby is not going to help with that. As a lone mother, you will have four dependent children living with you.

So what about money? If your partner has gone, you don't work and your son doesn't work, then where is the money coming from to provide financially for this child? And the other dependent children in the house? You sincerely need to address this. If you are looking after your grandson full-time then it will be difficult for you to get a job. Your financial situation will be terrible.

At the very least, your son needs to take responsibility for his own child. If he is mooching around at college doing some rubbish course then the best thing would be for him to quit and get a job. If his college course is going to lead to him having better prospects then he needs to carry on with the course and get a job for evenings, weekends and summer holidays.

Good luck with it.

Loopy_Girl

nottslass wrote: »

Night time calpol is only licenced for children over the age of 6 - if a 8 week baby was regularly being given this the child would have been seriuosly overdosed, ended up in hospital or worse

You can buy it in the chemist....do you not think that parents lie?!

There is nothing to suggest that the baby in question was 'regularly' being given it.

You stated that there is only paracetomol in Calpol. In normal Calopl, yes...in this one then no. We have no indication of which medicine was thought that the baby had had.

lauren_1

Instead of pointing fingers maybe you should take a step back and ask why she hasn't bonded with the baby?

If SS have asked you to take the baby then you wont need legal aid.

tweetie_pie_3

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Ummm actually you can give Calpol from 2 months...it says so on the box. As babies get their jabs at 8 weeks, it makes sense.

well according to the doctors health visitor and social worker it is dangerous to give a baby calpol under 3 months he was given it at the hospital because of his tummy but the nurses up there told us then that its only should be used in emergency situations and only once or twice not how we think she is
I would rather listen to experts on calpol thats why i said they were all worried if it was so harmless they wouldnt have put a police alert out to find her or the baby

esmy

Is your son named on the childs birth certificate? If so then he has 'parental responsibility' just as mum does. If he wants to apply for 'custody' (now residence) he needs to get legal advice initially from a firm that does the half hour free scheme and check where he stands re legal aid. However he should check with social services what their position is on his baby's current care, as they will possibly be asked to provide a report in any court proceedings, especially if they are already involved. Your role in all this may be to support your son if he gets care of the baby.

Loopy_Girl

Catblue wrote: »

OP, I was going to write a harsh reply about how you are sheltering your son from his responsibilities.

Then I read your previous thread about splitting with your partner and all the troubles that has brought you, so I won't.

I know that you are just trying to help in a very difficult situation.

However, you need to think about your own health here also. Are you absolutely sure that you can take care of a baby practically full-time? You also have a grown up child, but two other dependent children living with you, right? You are under a lot of stress right now and bringing up a new baby is not going to help with that. As a lone mother, you will have four dependent children living with you.

So what about money? If your partner has gone, you don't work and your son doesn't work, then where is the money coming from to provide financially for this child? And the other dependent children in the house? You sincerely need to address this. If you are looking after your grandson full-time then it will be difficult for you to get a job. Your financial situation will be terrible.

At the very least, your son needs to take responsibility for his own child. If he is mooching around at college doing some rubbish course then the best thing would be for him to quit and get a job. If his college course is going to lead to him having better prospects then he needs to carry on with the course and get a job for evenings, weekends and summer holidays.

Good luck with it.

I've just read the other posts and I agree with you. To be honest though I would question whether the baby would even be better in this household as there are alot of issues going on here too.

Poor wee baby

nottslass_2

y

lynzpower wrote: »

Actually in this case you may well find it is the courts that decide in the end.

There are many families up and down the land where children live full-time permanently with the grandparents, if both parents cannot be relied on to provide adequate parenting and grandparents are the social workers and childs first consideration if the parents cant be relied on.

Maybe so,but in the case of the OP it was quite clearly stated that tweety pie was enquiring about the possibility of her son getting custody.