my son wants to get custody for his son

nottslass_2

tweetie_pie wrote: »

yes suspicians But lots of facts in the paperwork from proffesionals

If they have so many facts then why don't they remove the child from its mothers care...............................................

one_hot_minute

blue_monkey wrote: »

Because every newborn and 27 year old mother has a SW and child that is subject to CPO. This baby has had a SW form day 1. Are we not to assume that this child is at risk. Did your child has a SW and CPO when it was born then?

But we've really not had it quantified WHY the child has the CPO order and SW's though. As far as I can see its because the girls mums history?

And no, my children didn't, but as I explained earlier, a family member did, because she was ill and rejected her newborn. If her inlaws at the time had swiped the baby away then, my sister and her daughters lives would be very different, as opposed to the safe, secure relationship that mother and baby were allowed to develop with support for her PND.

Again. not all women that give birth actually want to have, and look after, their children. They simply 'give birth'. Sorry if some of you find that hard to believe but it is true. And if was not, there would be no need for SW and CPO and there would not be babies and children that needed adoptive parents.

It actually sounds like this child is being forced upon this lady and she does not want it.

This girl from Tweeties account was dragged up by an unfit mother. She has no idea of what being a mum actually entails cos she didnt have the model to emulate from her own mother. History doesnt have to repeat itself, the girl needs help from the proper authorities and extended family (and yes that includes the OP).

I had the fortune to be raised by a good mother hence it was easy to become one myself, but I certainly dont think that someone who is struggling and has rejected the child is by any means unfit, but does need proper guidance and support to ensure the wellbeing of both mum and baby.
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blue_monkey wrote: »

Maybe the father too? Does he not need to know? The grandmother was there - the tot should have his father there.

Just how long do you give her to see if she accepts the baby or not, one month, 2 months, a year?

Some women have children but actually, do not want them. Its hard to imagine when you are a mum who loves their child to death but forcing the children onto these mums has further repercussions later down the line.

Of course the father should know and if you read all the posts you would have seen me encouraging Tweetie to get her son up there last night. I'm baffled that he'd sit at home wondering tbh. Nothing would keep my kids dad from the hospital if he knew they'd taken ill, particularly if he didnt know 1) the circs and 2) how serious it was.

I dont think a figure can be put on how long tbh. My sister certainly benefited from no time frames, but adequate support. If the child is in danger then of course the father can and should step in, I'm not saying that he shouldnt. But I completely dont advocate snatching the baby as a few other posters have said.

esmy

(Actually if social services did this they'd be in breech of the DPA ( I have a working knowledge of it) Sorry But there is absolutely no way that SS would give such confidential information to your son)

Of course they would - Tweetie is right. He is father, with PR, and has every right to have copies of documents concerning his child.

Ms_Chocaholic

nottslass wrote: »

Actually if social services did this they'd be in breech of the DPA ( I have a working knowledge of it) Sorry But there is absolutely no way that SS would give such confidential information to your son

Do you think it's a Core Assessment that the son has been given

esmy

He'd be entiltled to have copies of just about everything that Social Services hold regarding his child - core assessments, reports for and minutes of Child Protection meetings in this case.

blue_monkey_2

As has already been stated, this family are living on the edge of a knife, scared when the phone or door goes, this young lad is probably terrified.

Sounds pathetic? Have YOU had to live life like that? Because I have and it is far from funny.

This mum is helping her son, I did not have anyone to help me. Good on her for being strong for her son, I wish there had been someone to help me be strong. He is 17 and actually, this still makes him a minor - a child. If that makes her a busy body in your eyes then so be it, i am sure that she rather be seen a busy body than someone who is helping in the neglect of the baby.

Oh, and my mother was an unfit one but I am not like that as a mother so you are talking nonsense there. Having a bad mother does not make you a bad or unfit parent at all. Only YOU, as a parent, can make that choice.

nottslass_2

tweetie_pie wrote: »

yes suspicians But lots of facts in the paperwork from proffesionals

esmy wrote: »

He'd be entiltled to have copies of just about everything that Social Services hold regarding his child - core assessments, reports for and minutes of Child Protection meetings in this case.

The OP said that heid been given copies of reports that had happend in (in regard to the mother)the past - The son may be entitled to information in regard to his son but would not be party to any infomation in regard to "past events" that concern the babies mother before the child was born.

one_hot_minute

blue_monkey wrote: »

As has already been stated, this family are living on the edge of a knife, scared when the phone or door goes, this young lad is probably terrified.

Sounds pathetic? Have YOU had to live life like that? Because I have and it is far from funny.

Oh, and my mother was an unfit one but I am not like that as a mother so you are talking nonsense there. Having a bad mother does not make you a bad or unfit parent at all. Only YOU, as a parent, can make that choice.

Are you addressing me? I've not said anyone was pathetic or that everyone with an unfit mother continued on that path. You're getting a bit ranty at me for absolutely no reason so I'd urge you to wind your neck in.

But its very frightening how readily you are willing to assume that this girl doesnt want her kid and to advocate snatching based on some very vague facts presented here rather than be objective. You're letting your past sway you here and being very subjective.

For the record, you don't know my circs so please dont make assumptions re what I have or haven't been through in my life. I also love how its ok for the poor lad (who had we not questioned it, would have been persuaded to believe was trapped by this harlot! *sarcastic*) is allowed to be terrified, but not the young mum.

These families are pulling this baby around as it it were a toy to fight over, when they could be collating their efforts to ensure the absolute wellbeing of all involved. its a shame.

pinknfluffy0

How about rather than fighting the mother for the baby, why dont you try and help. In the long run it will be better for the child.

Also I hope your son has learnt his lesson about getting girls pregnant.

Savvy_sewing

one_hot_minute wrote: »

But this is all perfectly plausible and things that can happen to a newborn. Surely the SW would only need to know if neglect or mistreatment led to hospitalisation?

Once a child is on the Child protection Plan, then the hospital have a duty to call Social Services and tell them that the child is there.
They are supposed to anyway.!

If the police are called to any incident where the child is registered as living, they also will contact Social services and report the facts.

I know this not only from Gizmo, but from real life experience.

To say that the mother can clean up her act, when SS told her she would have to, doesnt actually work in all cases. Again I know this from first hand experience.

The best thing that the OP can do, is decide as a family, and with the Core meetings, that she seems to be attending, what they as a family can do to help their son.
The social services will do a CRB check on everyone involved in the childs life, if they are to be carers for that child.

If the child is to be removed from the mother, when all other options have been visited, then they will probably ask the family to go for a Residency order, or Guardianship, so that the family could then claim Child benefit and Tax credits/chld tax credits for the child. Also Healthy start vouchers etc.

They will ask Dad to attend parenting classes to assess his abilities.

It may be possible that the child could go into emergency foster care, until the appropriate checks have been made. This can be done on a voluntary basis, or with a court order.

(Again, I know this from experience).
If your son wants the custody, then he asks his solicitor to act on his behalf, and apply to the courts for this.


What has happened is irrelevant and non of us really need to know that.
What is the opinion of the OP or any one else is here say and also irrelevant.
If the OP thinks that the baby is being abused, then she must call the duty Social Workers. They will investigate immediately.

I hope that this is a help OP and not a hinderance.
As said before, Gizmo is the one you should talk to, give her a private PM and then you do not have to put all of this on an open forum which is giving you and the family more stress then is necessary.

Take care and good luck to the family, and the child. the SS will do what is best for the child. They are not all demons. Dispite my experience of some really shoddy ones!!:D