my son wants to get custody for his son

Loopy_Girl

nottslass wrote: »

As Its the son who allegedly wants residency I fail to understand why it isn't him thats doing all the ringing around and gathering "evidence" finding out the legal implications,meeting social workers etc. How can he possibly be responsible enough to look after a tiny baby and bring it up for life,if he can't even be bothered to phone the hospital to see how his son is - instead he gets his mother to do it ?

Because it's patently clear that it's OP that will be doing the care. I would question whether the Son would be doing half as much as the OP is if he was having to do it on his own.

Loopy_Girl

tweetie_pie wrote: »

Once id settled baby i rang mum

That's Daddy's job surely? How is he going to learn to settle a baby if you do it? Why are you phoning Mum - it's nothing to do with you surely if Dad is trying to be the main carer?

Edit - have just read about baby being in hospital and yet again it's all 'I'm going to phone' etc...WHY is your SON not phoning round and more importantly, why didn't he get his !!!! up there as soon as he heard his Son was ill? Seriouly, this is a man who is meant to want custody of his kid yet he can't even be arsed to pick a phone up and see how his Son is, let alone jump in a taxi and get up there.

one_hot_minute

nottslass wrote: »

Actually I find It quite hard to stomach people supporting the removal and refusal to hand back an 8 week old baby back to its mother.

This, times a million. This is how this horrid situation reads to me:

The birth mum has PND and other issues regarding her own upbringing and doubts her skills as a mother. Her own mother appears to be using this baby as an opportunity to rectify her own failings as a mother. The OP appears to be interfering, trying to discredit the mother and take the baby as a band aid for her own recent problems. I can imagine the birth mum is thinking "!!!! it, I dont think I can be a good mum and none of them think I'm capable either so they can have him."

Ideal outcome in my eyes is that mum is treated for PND and helped by SW to bond with her baby. God he's only 8 weeks for christs sake* Father should begin paying towards his baby, grans support mum and dad, seeing the baby regularly as grandparents, not as substitute parents.

I realise that may be a little idealistic, but I do get the impression from your posts that you're seeing neglect where there is none there. You're slandering her for overfeeding when she isnt, alleging overdosing when their is no evidence or even valid reason for coming to that conclusion.

*my sister fell pregnant 2 months after giving birth to her son who had a birth defect. She denied the preganancy and when she gave birth, didnt want anything to do with the baby - she literally got up, walked out the hospital and left her there. We all pretty much had to care for the little one. Basically she was shellshocked, her body and mind just went into a complete breakdown and with support from our family and from the proper authorities she went on to have bond with her gorgeous daughter within weeks. Her daughter is now twelve and mum and daughter could not be closer.

On paper, she sounds like a bad mum and could potentially be slandered as you are slandering your sons ex, but she wasnt a bad mum, she was ill and needed support.

one_hot_minute

I also wanted to ask, has your son been to the hospital this morning? How is the baby?

tweetie_pie_3

nottslass wrote: »

In your Original posts you quite clearly state that the police were looking for the mother because she'd allegedly given the baby calpol,but now its because she's was AWOL..............

I thought it was because of that because it was straight after they found out about the calpol but as they have told me since then that the police were informed again i found more out
I let you know what i know and answer questions the best i can if i miss things i do apologise but as things are happening daily its hard to keep up

tweetie_pie_3

nottslass wrote: »

Tweety pie, can I suggest that you remove the names from this post,there is already enough in this thread to identify a vunerable mother and baby.

OMG thankyou for pointing that out as i didnt realise i had done that
can you delete it out of your quote please

nottslass_2

tweetie_pie wrote: »

OMG thankyou for pointing that out as i didnt realise i had done that
can you delete it out of your quote please

Done - Perhaps its time that the entire thread was removed - If the situation is as you say it is then there is too much information on here that could identify the mother and child. You are taking legal advise and really can't see that there is anything else to gain from this thread.

I sincerely hope that everything works out for the baby.

tweetie_pie_3

blue_monkey wrote: »

tweety, Sorry, long post coming.

I actually cannot believe you are being set upon like this when you are just needing help.

Some of you posters should be downright ashamed of yourselves in all honesty. Do you think this mother has the time or enegery to be defending herself against your pointless questioning? I am disgusted. If you do not have the right qualifications to give her advice them jog on and go bother someone else. Of course, not every post is identical when she is posting replies in this manner and then getting 3 questions on every post she has made. She clearly wants the best for this baby - who it is clear has no mother who wants him/her so why should the father not be allowed to bring her up? Does it matter that his mum is here posting for him and trying to get things sorted out for him, he is only 17 so give some credit where it is due for gods sake.

You son has the same parental rights as the mother and certainly more than the maternal grandmother who seems to have taken over caring for the child, so he needs to get a hard head on and get strong and you all need to start fighting him/her.

For the people who do not agree - not everyone who gives birth to a baby deserves to have automatic right to bring up that baby. This lady clearly does not want the baby, she needs help but she can get this when there is not a young baby to be cared for - who is in hospital AGAIN! Prove her worth and that she is better and then have the baby back.

OP, go and find out TODAY whether you son is entitled to legal aid. Call or drop into any solicitors and ask. Once they confirm this then go and find a Family Lawyer. I would find out if right now if you can just refuse to let the baby go home after your next visit and then let them fight you - with this babies history they'll not have any chance in getting the baby back. If the mother is serious about wanting the baby back she will clean up her act and then the baby can go back to her.

Has anyone suggested she go to the docs and get help for post-natal depression? Unfortunately, unless she is sectioned for MH then this is not something you can force her to do but why put a baby at risk just because she will not get the help she needs.

Thing is, in a family unit, if mum was ill with PND and she had to go into hospital then baby would be bought up by dad, only in this case dad is not there at home so this baby is suffering - yes, suffering. PND can cause the problems you are talking about mum having, however,maybe she just does not want the baby as not all women want to have babies. If this is the case then dad should be the one bringing the baby up - as is his right and duty to do - not the maternal grandmother. Your son has more rights than her unless instructed otherwise by the court As he wants to do this then you need to go and see a solicitor and get things moving.

The SW will not know all of the rights and laws, and their service is sometiumes next to useless in respect of some things, so please do not expect them to know. It seems that they are not talking to each other as they should be, which would not be unusual - every county council has these problems and I could reel off many with our local SS, so speak to a solicitor. Even just call and ask if someone can call you back as a matter of urgency. Ask them:

Can you son just not send the child home? There is no court order in place
What will happen to your son, can the police remove the child?
How do you stop the mother having the baby, you need to sort out access at a contact centre so she/grandmother cannot snatch the baby.

I know of a paternal grandmother who snatched a baby from the mother and it was 4 months through courts to get the baby back into the mothers house - the mother did not see or speak to the baby in that time. The police did not remove the child, it had to go through the courts. The police could do nothing (and I honestly forget why but the father did not want to know as he was not around, this was the grandmothers actions). In this instance the mother does not want the baby, the maternal grandmother will not be given the same rights as a mother, so if she wants custody she will have to have to apply for a Residence Order if she wants the baby to come and live with her.

Maybe SS are waiting for you to do the right thing but you need to get very strong as you are going to get a lot of abuse if you do this. However, it will be worth it so hard hats on and decide to do what is right this little baby.

Hi
We have got a family law solicitor seeing him today and we have to pick up a letter from the sw to take as they just rang me saying that when my son hits 18 he will get legal aid in his own right( i dont really understand that so does he get it now as his only a week away from being 18)
I will be asking about next visit like you suggested as grandmother has said she will bring baby to me so thankyou
I suggested mum might have that when she turned around and said she didnt want him i told her to go to the docs cos she might have it and take a few days to think about wot she wants
Again i mentioned it at the core meeting but mum said shes fine just these xxxxxx getting on her nerves

Her mum(other grandmother) know if mum loses baby she wont be given custody because of her background and yes sw are doing all they can to give me as much advice as possible
we know there maybe a lot of abuse from this but if the mum really wanted baby she would have cleaned up act from day 1 when sw told her to and all we want is whats right for baby
Thankyou so much for your post and advice it means a lot

one_hot_minute

I really wish you could update us on how the baby is and what actually led to the hospitalisation.

tweetie_pie_3

gizmo111 wrote: »

What everybody seesms to be forgetting is that this child is on the CP Register, SS are taking legal advice, and the baby is likely to be subject to care proceedings. There is no guaranteee this child will end up with either family.
OP's son with support of his mother, needs to go to hospital and find out what is wrong with the child. If this boy wants to be part of this childs life and have repsonsibility for him then he needs to start being a little more active and involved in what's happening to him.
The SW should have a report from the hospital, but inform her anyhow just in case in doesn't get to her 1st thing. Depending on the reason for the admission the police can be asked by SS to put this child under a police protection order to a place of safety either hospital or with paternal family so hecannot be removed, whilst SS go to court and get an emergency protection order today.
Let us know how you get on.

Son spoke to grandmother at hospital and she said baby had an allergic reaction to his injections and they will be coming home soon i contacted sw this morning before i went to work and told them as they didnt know he was in hospital
they are going to find out more and grandmother said my son can have him later until friday so if he can then we were find out from solicitors about keeping him