my son wants to get custody for his son

tweetie_pie_3

one_hot_minute wrote: »

I really wish you could update us on how the baby is and what actually led to the hospitalisation.

Sorry i have been at work son rang grandmother and she said it was an allergic reaction from his injections and she said my son can have baby later as they are due out soon
As i dont believe a word they say as there has been so many lies sw has said they will let us know when they know
thankyou for posting

one_hot_minute

tweetie_pie wrote: »

Son spoke to grandmother at hospital and she said baby had an allergic reaction to his injections and they will be coming home soon i contacted sw this morning before i went to work and told them as they didnt know he was in hospital

But this is all perfectly plausible and things that can happen to a newborn. Surely the SW would only need to know if neglect or mistreatment led to hospitalisation?

tweetie_pie_3

blue_monkey wrote: »

Gizmo, do you get the impression the family are scared of upsetting the mother/grandmother and of what might happen and this is why they have not got as involved as they should have done. I do and feel they need to push these feeling aside and do what is right now. It is hard but as Gizmo said get the protection order in place.

Please do keep us informed and don't waste your precious time in defending posts about things. Just keep to the neccessary things you have to do.

I hope that this little baby is not too seriously ill - my thoughts are with him/her. Such a sad situation and start in life for this little one. ANYTHING has to be better than a life such as the one he already has which leaves him in hospital and being given medicine to shut him up, surely. I am not in the least bit soft and weepy but I cannot believe how sad this situation has made me feel

Yes i know how you feel just imagine being in the middle of it all like you say what a bad start in life
other grandmother wouldnt bother fighting for residency as she knows and has been told if mum loses baby she wont get him due to her past of neglect
our family are constantly on edge every time the phone go its just so upsetting and the sw said yesterday try not to worry we are doing things it may not seem it but we are i just dont know what else we can do as we are working with them and putting our trust in them to make sure they are keeping baby safe
should know more soon i will post more later

blue_monkey_2

Because every newborn and 27 year old mother has a SW and child that is subject to CPO. This baby has had a SW form day 1. Are we not to assume that this child is at risk. Did your child has a SW and CPO when it was born then?

Again. not all women that give birth actually want to have, and look after, their children. They simply 'give birth'. Sorry if some of you find that hard to believe but it is true. And if was not, there would be no need for SW and CPO and there would not be babies and children that needed adoptive parents.

It actually sounds like this child is being forced upon this lady and she does not want it.

OP, I'd get things moving now tbh. Please do let us know how he gets on.

tweetie_pie_3

nottslass wrote: »

But the OP has admitted that the baby isn't actually being ill treated by the mother and I actually fail to see a post that suggests the child is in danger. Instead the OP has simply posted hear say and instances where any accusations have been unfounded !!!!!!

yes suspicians But lots of facts in the paperwork from proffesionals

tweetie_pie_3

I will read the rest later as we have to go the sw before the solicitor so i will reply to all posts that i need to when i come back

blue_monkey_2

one_hot_minute wrote: »

But this is all perfectly plausible and things that can happen to a newborn. Surely the SW would only need to know if neglect or mistreatment led to hospitalisation?

Maybe the father too? Does he not need to know? The grandmother was there - the tot should have his father there.

The mother was not there - where was she, clearly she was bothered about her child being in hospital.

So if the mother cannot be bothered or is ill - whatever reason - she needs to step aside and let Dad take over.

Just how long do you give her to see if she accepts the baby or not, one month, 2 months, a year?

My friends mother was like the babies mum in the OP. She was left to wallow in her nanppies for so long that as an adult she still has scars from being left in nappies all day. There is not a day that goes by that she does not thank her father for taking her away and bringin her up. Her mother has subsequently had more children that have been removed for neglect reasons.

Some women have children but actually, do not want them. Its hard to imagine when you are a mum who loves their child to death but forcing the children onto these mums has further repercussions later down the line.

tweetie_pie_3

brians_daughter wrote: »

ok, i have only read upto page 8 so i may be re-writting what has already been said here.

OP whilst i admire what you are trying to do, ie give your grandson the best start in life, and i understand he is the most important party in all this... i cant see a post regarding the mother... ok you say you have booked baby massage classes etc and thats great...

Has anyone has her assessed for PND? She sounds like a confused and scared lady. She is now faced with the realisation that her mother gave her up.... she wants to form a relationship with her own mother, who seeems to not give 2 hoots about her own daughter. The only way the new mum feels she can form a relationship with her own mother is by keeping her own child... who she actually never sees as between you and the other granny you
give all the primary care.
Have you looked at maybe asking the mother to come and stay with you for a few days/week... ok, its not ideal i know but surely this woman needs to be shown what a real loving family is? If she has never had it she cant replicate it without assistance, ok shes off loading as SS but maybe she is scared? Drinking to numb her pain and confussion?

If someone could maybe show her what it is to be a Mum and could help and support her under supervision, and away from the other grandma (who you say is the real issue)?

Ok, it all sounds very whisy washy.. but as a mother of 3 and number 4 on the way its a bloody hard job! I am blessed with a oh, loving and involved parents and in laws and brothers and sisters to help and sometimes i feel i could just pack it all in and go the pub on a bender! BUT i have the advantage of being brought up in a loving and supportive family where i know i can seek help, i have someone to put the kettle on and someone i can cry to when it all gets too much. I cant see where your sons ex is getting any support for her?! She cant ask her mum as her mum hasnt been the mum she wanted, she cant ask SS as she feels they are on her back, she cant ask you for advice as you are her ex' Mum so maybe she is hiding behind all this bravado about getting drunk?

I kwow your main concern is your grandson, but i started off thinking this wonam didnt deserve her child, now i am thinking she at least deserves help to see how to be a mum

OP i wish you, your son and your grandson all the luck in the world with this x

Hi
I suggested councelling to deal with her past while she was pregnant as there is a lot of hate against her mum
I also suggested going to the docs for PND and she did have a few days away as i suggested it and we had baby but instead of taking time out to think she chose another chance to drink
She asks me all the time and my son to go to scans midwife appointments etc etc in stead of her mum as she didnt want her there and although we didnt at thew time know he was my sons we supported her throughout pregnancy and labour and since she knows she can come to me and always used to but that was when she thought my son would get back with her and she still thought that until a few weeks ago and that is when things have got worse
I used to think like you and i still do feel sorry for her in a way because of her childhood but why go against sw when all they are doing is like us trying to help her but it seems to be like shes getting worse why??? because she realises my son dont want her back or because she wants her single party drinking life again i am at a loss to suggest anything more to try and help her and its now got to the stage where we have to think of baby cos clearly wot ever anyone suggests she does the opposite

nottslass_2

tweetie_pie wrote: »

sw are gathering evidence and i have the proof of the pics which they told me to get copies of and print of

They told my son there are 2 which he can apply for contact or residency depending where he wants to go from here and how quickly they deal with it cos if residency might take longer he still needs to see his son in the mean time

SW came today asking all sorts of questions about things and she left satisfied she also sed as a team they are seeking legal advice as the mum is not co-operating at all so if she doesnt then things will move very fast
The information about the past or events is given to my son as he is the father and has a right to know and everyone involved gets a copy. I was worried about the confidentiality of the paperwork to do with mum and her parents but the sw said it is my sons property and the solicitor will need to know everything so told me to show him
Also i found out today the abh/gbh charge mum has got 2 years ago are on children so again thats another worry

And no i wasnt aiming that at you but as a mum of 4 myself i cant understand some posts getting at us as a family when all we want to do is make sure he is safe where ever he lives and he hasnt had the best starts we just want whats best before he gets too old to realise whats happening around him but we will be working very closely with the sw and managers and they have assured me that in the meantime they are going twice a day to check on baby which we are pleased about

Actually if social services did this they'd be in breech of the DPA ( I have a working knowledge of it) Sorry But there is absolutely no way that SS would give such confidential information to your son

nottslass_2

blue_monkey wrote: »

Maybe the father too? Does he not need to know? The grandmother was there - the tot should have his father there.

The mother was not there - where was she, clearly she was bothered about her child being in hospital.

So if the mother cannot be bothered or is ill - whatever reason - she needs to step aside and let Dad take over.

Just how long do you give her to see if she accepts the baby or not, one month, 2 months, a year?

My friends mother was like the babies mum in the OP. She was left to wallow in her nanppies for so long that as an adult she still has scars from being left in nappies all day. There is not a day that goes by that she does not thank her father for taking her away and bringin her up. Her mother has subsequently had more children that have been removed for neglect reasons.

Some women have children but actually, do not want them. Its hard to imagine when you are a mum who loves their child to death but forcing the children onto these mums has further repercussions later down the line.

So why was it the grandmother who was ringing the hospital and not the babies father ?