my son wants to get custody for his son

justmel

I have been reading the thread but know very little about the procedures of gaining custody etc so have stayed out of it until now for fear of giving wrong information but right now the baby is in hospital,your son is named as the father and has parental responsibility due to that so he does have the right to know what is wrong with his child.

As it stands it really needs to be your son calling the hospital or even going there if possible,as far as i can see currently you have no legal rights but your son does so for now he needs to do the calling etc.

Hope baby is ok x

ETA:In october 2003 i think it was the laws changed so that unmarried fathers named on the birth certificate automatically had parental responsibilty.

tweetie_pie_3

I explained wot is going on and as they r both asleep now they have advised us not to go up there as mum has said no and i said we didnt want any hassle she said its wise until the morning then speak to grandmother
As we are trying to do whats best for baby we dont really want to go against them and march in
i know mum didnt have baby last night as my sons friend went up to flat and her and others were drinking
i got a text from mum at 7 tonight saying shes at her mums do my son want to go to house to talk to her about seeing baby but as he had popped out i explained he wasnt here at the moment then get told baby is in hospital tried texting mum but nothing

nottslass_2

tweetie_pie wrote: »

firstly we went down to grandmothers house(on a saturday):beer: and she was alone with teenagers as grandmother went on holiday
when we got there baby was screaming so red in the face mum said cant cope take him we took him and he calmed down in the car but was very pale and clammy

So was mum there when you arrived or not ?
Once id settled baby i rang mum and asked how long he had been screaming and y didnt she call us as we only live 5 mins away she sed i forgot his medication it might be that
i said what medication she said docs gave him calpol as when she took him to docs he pressed his tummy baby screamed i sed oh did you take him to the doctors yesterday(friday) as she didnt mention anything at the core meeting the day before
she said no i have had it 5 days i said well if you have had it 5 days why didnt i have it wednesday when we had him for the day she said i forgot
I rang the family centre worker as he said to do so if you are worried about anything and he said he will check it out
there was no docs appointment so nothing was prescribed

since then his been more sleepy at times might be just tired but why did mum mention docs giving him calpol when he didnt so although there is no evidence they are checking on him and asking ppl who see baby wot he was like in himself when they have seen him

If the SW is so worried that the baby has been given too much calpol and they feel the need to ask people about the childs physical state then why didn't she take the baby to hospital -a simple blood test would confirm the whether or not he'd been given the stuff - paracetamol overdose can quite easily kill !!!!
sw/family centre worker was worried because when picked him up from here no one could find her for hours as she is being aukward with them she keeps saying that she is taking baby away and as baby is on cp police are informed if no one knows where baby is or have not been seen and this has happened twice now

In your Original posts you quite clearly state that the police were looking for the mother because she'd allegedly given the baby calpol,but now its because she's was AWOL..............

nottslass_2

tweetie_pie wrote: »

I explained wot is going on and as they r both asleep now they have advised us not to go up there as mum has said no and i said we didnt want any hassle she said its wise until the morning then speak to grandmother
As we are trying to do whats best for baby we dont really want to go against them and march in
i know mum didnt have baby last night as my sons friend went up to flat and her and others were drinking
i got a text from mum at 7 tonight saying shes at her mums do **********want to go to house to talk to her about seeing ********* but as he had popped out i explained he wasnt here at the moment then get told baby is in hospital tried texting mum but nothing

Tweety pie, can I suggest that you remove the names from this post,there is already enough in this thread to identify a vunerable mother and baby.

nottslass_2

Putting aside the inconsistencies in this thread and taking it at face value I still cannot understand why SS haven't taken steps to remove the child from its mothers care.

So SS have a "thick file" against the mother going back to before the baby was born,and are so worried about the mothers wereabouts the police have been involved,the the social worker suspects the baby has been "inappropriately medicated" and is so at risk that the police are called to find the mother.

IF SS feel that an 8 week old baby is so at risk that he should be removed from its mothers care and would be better off living with his father who has no home of their own and no income.

If all the above is correct and the child is at significant risk then why hasn't SS applied for an emergency care order and Preferring instead that the OP starts residency proceedings herself which will take months instead of quickly acting themselves.Thus protecting the child.

blue_monkey_2

tweety, Sorry, long post coming.

I actually cannot believe you are being set upon like this when you are just needing help.

Some of you posters should be downright ashamed of yourselves in all honesty. Do you think this mother has the time or enegery to be defending herself against your pointless questioning? I am disgusted. If you do not have the right qualifications to give her advice them jog on and go bother someone else. Of course, not every post is identical when she is posting replies in this manner and then getting 3 questions on every post she has made. She clearly wants the best for this baby - who it is clear has no mother who wants him/her so why should the father not be allowed to bring her up? Does it matter that his mum is here posting for him and trying to get things sorted out for him, he is only 17 so give some credit where it is due for gods sake.

You son has the same parental rights as the mother and certainly more than the maternal grandmother who seems to have taken over caring for the child, so he needs to get a hard head on and get strong and you all need to start fighting him/her.

For the people who do not agree - not everyone who gives birth to a baby deserves to have automatic right to bring up that baby. This lady clearly does not want the baby, she needs help but she can get this when there is not a young baby to be cared for - who is in hospital AGAIN! Prove her worth and that she is better and then have the baby back.

OP, go and find out TODAY whether you son is entitled to legal aid. Call or drop into any solicitors and ask. Once they confirm this then go and find a Family Lawyer. I would find out if right now if you can just refuse to let the baby go home after your next visit and then let them fight you - with this babies history they'll not have any chance in getting the baby back. If the mother is serious about wanting the baby back she will clean up her act and then the baby can go back to her.

Has anyone suggested she go to the docs and get help for post-natal depression? Unfortunately, unless she is sectioned for MH then this is not something you can force her to do but why put a baby at risk just because she will not get the help she needs.

Thing is, in a family unit, if mum was ill with PND and she had to go into hospital then baby would be bought up by dad, only in this case dad is not there at home so this baby is suffering - yes, suffering. PND can cause the problems you are talking about mum having, however,maybe she just does not want the baby as not all women want to have babies. If this is the case then dad should be the one bringing the baby up - as is his right and duty to do - not the maternal grandmother. Your son has more rights than her unless instructed otherwise by the court As he wants to do this then you need to go and see a solicitor and get things moving.

The SW will not know all of the rights and laws, and their service is sometiumes next to useless in respect of some things, so please do not expect them to know. It seems that they are not talking to each other as they should be, which would not be unusual - every county council has these problems and I could reel off many with our local SS, so speak to a solicitor. Even just call and ask if someone can call you back as a matter of urgency. Ask them:

Can you son just not send the child home? There is no court order in place
What will happen to your son, can the police remove the child?
How do you stop the mother having the baby, you need to sort out access at a contact centre so she/grandmother cannot snatch the baby.

I know of a paternal grandmother who snatched a baby from the mother and it was 4 months through courts to get the baby back into the mothers house - the mother did not see or speak to the baby in that time. The police did not remove the child, it had to go through the courts. The police could do nothing (and I honestly forget why but the father did not want to know as he was not around, this was the grandmothers actions). In this instance the mother does not want the baby, the maternal grandmother will not be given the same rights as a mother, so if she wants custody she will have to have to apply for a Residence Order if she wants the baby to come and live with her.

Maybe SS are waiting for you to do the right thing but you need to get very strong as you are going to get a lot of abuse if you do this. However, it will be worth it so hard hats on and decide to do what is right this little baby.

blue_monkey_2

nottslass, there has been far worse neglect and still a child has not been removed from parents as they imply this is the best palce for a baby to be. Maybe this latest hospital visit will be the one that tips the applecart.

Their actions (bearing in mind this child actually has a few SW and they often do not talk to each other) suggest they want the dad to have the child - he can do this, I have posted above on how to do this.

It would be easier in the SW eyes for him to simply not return the baby and they will not have a ton of paperwork/visits/etc... to sort out which of course, cost money. The mother is clearly not going to fight it, the paternal grandmother will have to apply for a residency order as the dad has more rights than the maternal grandmother.

Now cut it out, you should be ashamed of yourself on all the questioning - if you have no advice then jog on.

Your posts giving the 3rd degree are totally irrelevant anyway as the son can just remove the child and not send him home for whatever reason - let the mother fight for custody if she wants it - which she clearly doesn't so she won't. There is no order in place that says where the child lives and who he lives with. The maternal grandmother has no automatic right to parent the child and will need to apply for residency, which the OP's son will fight with the support of his family. It takes 1-2 years to get through the courts for residency so by then the mother will have a chance to clean up her act if she wants the baby back.

Good luck OP, give this baby a better life, he/she deserves it. Be prepared for the onslaught from the maternal GM though. I'd suggest you check out a solicitor for your son because she is probably not going to let it lie and he will need the legal side to back him up on this unless you know the legal terms to do it yourself. However, your son has more rights over this child than the maternal grandmother. Speak to the hospital also. Good luck.

System

my brother after 2 years of hell has gained full custardy [sp] of his 9 yr old ,its not been easy but its worth the fight they go to court in october so sort mothers visitation . op seek legal advice but expect a long frustrating and stressful road .

blue_monkey_2

It can be a fight Crissy - but not if the mother does not want the child. It is one battle over. The grandmother can fight but it is unlikely they will get custody unless the father does not want it.

I am glad your brother is giving this little girl a better life. Not everyone realises that some women are just not cut out to be mums - just in the same way some dads are. But is assumed that as women give birth they should be and are monsters if they feel nothing for that child. If dads can give their children a better life then they should be given the chance. I wish I had not been bought up by an alcoholic mother - I'd rather be with parents who wanted me rather than one who got drunk to blot out life in general and the kids being there. As it sounds like this mother is doing.

The OP is doing the right thing.

OP, you also need to find out whether the mother is getting tax credits/CB etc... and get these sorted too if he is going to have full time care of the baby. Can the SW help you with this? Your son should get benefits for the baby as he is a lone parent and this will help with the costs. Maybe a visit to the Job Centre to explain to them and see what they can advise too.

Remember OP, you can just refuse to hand him back at the end of the visit and just keep him with you, the person who will need to report it and seek legal help to get the child away from you will be the mother - NOT the grandmother. If you can be sure she wiull not do this then your fight is almost won.

And then, however harsh this seems, you have to be strong enough to follow it though until you have a piece of paper to say the child LIVES with your son permanantly then he cannot be snatched without repercussions. If they snatch him once he has custody, the snatcher can be charged with kidnap.

Savvy_sewing

Just trying to catch up with this one.
I am a grandmother who is well known on the forums. I have a similar situation, but with my own daughters being unable to care for their children, and I have had to make the decision to bring up my granddaughter.

PLEASE LISTEN TO GIZMO11, I have had brilliant advice, and help from her. Without her I think I would still be without funding and a lot of other knowledge.
If you want to talk to me privately, then please do give me a PM, its hard work bringing up my granddaughter, but its for the best.