Partner lends money to ex..

bambam0074

I may have the right to say yup your issue you still have to pay your half even if your on your ars, but I dont think thats right !

mikey72

Is the 10k a lot?
As in does he have another 240k in the bank, or was the 10k all he had?
Don't reallly need an answer, but if it's closer to the former then it's not as big an issue.

Mrs_justjohn

bambam0074 wrote: »

So should he be out of work in October and unable to pay his share of responsibilities. Then Fang I assume you would say I am quite within my rights to say sorry.. your problem I have my income you have yours (or not as the case may be) you sort your own financial issues out ??

The problem with that is you agreed to pay 50% each, so if he deafults on his share, you will either have to make up the difference or suffer the consequences of 'arrears'. So the fact he has lent money could impact you financially in the future and affect your future realtionship. For that reason alone I would have thought it should be discussed if both feel it is a long term relatiinship

bambam0074

I asked him if he thought it was right I told him he has no money its tough he still has to pay. Apparently if I did he would leave me and return to his family!!!

Thats double standards and obviously not in your camp then Fang. Not happy with me advertising that point here but I at this point dont care !

Fang_3

bambam0074 wrote: »

I may have the right to say yup your issue you still have to pay your half even if your on your ars, but I dont think thats right !

Then why did you agree to it if you're so against it?

Fang_3

bambam0074 wrote: »

I asked him if he thought it was right I told him he has no money its tough he still has to pay. Apparently if I did he would leave me and return to his family!!!

Thats double standards and obviously not in your camp then Fang. Not happy with me advertising that point here but I at this point dont care !

Do you not think there are double standards in saying one thing but expecting another? As you did.

You sound very mature.:rotfl:

Mrs_justjohn

bambam0074 wrote: »

I may have the right to say yup your issue you still have to pay your half even if your on your ars, but I dont think thats right !

Yes but the question is if you lost your job....what would your partner say to you? If it's not the same as you would say/do then maybe you have a potential problem brewing for the future

*max*

bambam0074 wrote: »

I may have the right to say yup your issue you still have to pay your half even if your on your ars, but I dont think thats right !

Why not? You have separate finances = you each do whatever the hell you deem necessary with your own money. If you spend it all on lending money to the Pope, then tough titties. If that results in you not being able to pull your share of the bills, then either you find a way to earn more, or you're out.
You're not children, you know what you're doing, and you should be able to face the consequences.

To be honest, if you have such opposite views on your financial situation, I would question the relationship itself.

*max*

bambam0074 wrote: »

I asked him if he thought it was right I told him he has no money its tough he still has to pay. Apparently if I did he would leave me and return to his family!!!

Then you would most likely be both well rid.

tjakyll

bambam0074 wrote: »

I asked him if he thought it was right I told him he has no money its tough he still has to pay. Apparently if I did he would leave me and return to his family!!!

Thats double standards and obviously not in your camp then Fang. Not happy with me advertising that point here but I at this point dont care !

In all fairness to the poor OP's partner who seems to be being demonized, what other option would he have? He has no money, no support from his partner, so what else can he do? He can't stay there as he can't pay the bills so what other suggestion would anyone have for him? Even if the discussion had taken place and he'd said he was still lending the money, would you have withdrawn your support so quickly? This does strike me as somewhat controlling behaviour