Partner lends money to ex..

Gavin83

bambam0074 wrote: »

The point I keep trying to make during all of my posts, is that its not a case of do what I say. Its a case of no communication and also to a degree the element of secrecy..

I have no desire to dictate or have input on what he does with his money, but would like to be informed of situations such as this that occur.

I have no secrets within this relationship, nothing to hide.

So if he'd have told you, your response would have been 'ok, thats fine' or something similar?

bambam0074

Gavin83 wrote: »

So if he'd have told you, your response would have been 'ok, thats fine' or something similar?

After discussion my answer yes would have been fine. Not maybe something I would consider doing considering current circumstances but as I say it is not my place to say "No".

As I previously stated even if I disagree it isnt my decision however I would have felt better for being included in the transaction rather than excluded and being told it does not concern me.

Luella

bambam0074 wrote: »

In addition, everybody has an opinion on what I do and dont have the right to have a say in, when infact I have never said I should have a say in what he spends his money on.

Few people have commented on the fact that his ex has requested he keeps a secret from his current partner, and being balanced how many would feel comfortable if their partner kept a secret at request of their ex after being in a relationship for 2 years and living together, owning a property together?

But you've stated in earlier posts that it's not the recipient being an ex that bothers you - that he is a close friend of yours too.
It now transpires that you are uncomfortable with their relationship,
which makes your anger more understandable, though not justified.
IMO - this lies deeper than the loan / money issues, and you have to raise it with him to make sure you're on the same page.

Btw you've referred to the ex as your man's "partner" in your first post... some might say that's telling.

shebrett

Hi Bambam, I completely understand why you feel a little betrayed. Whether it's your money or his, or if you have to help him out should his job fall through or not. You obviously take the relationship seriously and see it as a long term commitment and £10k being lent out to anyone (especially someone who is an ex) should at least warrant a mention at some point.