Just found out I'm pregnant - am scared

Sequeena

neneromanova wrote: »

That is totally wrong! My friend got pregnant when she was 19 by accident. Happened just like that. She had the termination and now, 10 years later, after trying for 5 years she can't get pregnant.

That might not be because of the termination. I had a mc last year and have had no luck whatsoever since.

OP good luck in whatever you decide but give you and your OH enough to time digest this before making any decisions.

gonzo127

now since i have been pulled up on the missing word in my sentance of 'usually' i have just gone back and edited my first post to take into account the small chance of it causing future issues with fatility

Oldernotwiser

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

OP, I forgot to add, I would recommend talking to the charity LIFE about your predicament. It is a pro-life organisation that offers counselling to those who are unexpectedly pregnant. They offer a non-judgmental ear and they will not try to force their beliefs on you.

I also spoke to a Marie Stopes counsellor about my situation and she clearly tried to steer me towards abortion, which I did not appreciate given my state of mind at the time. I then went to LIFE and found them to be more helpful in listening to how I felt. Their number is 0800 915 4600 and their website is http://www.lifecharity.org.uk/

An anti abortion charity that offers unbiased advice - I think not!

Oldernotwiser

graemecarter wrote: »

You MUST communicate honestly and respectfully with your partner. It is his baby too remember. He has a say.

No he doesn't! At this stage the "baby" is just a few cells and the OP could have a termination without telling him if she wanted to.

Plans_all_plans

I would not advocate wasting their time, but if you ring LIFE as though you were experiencing an unintended pregnancy, you will see what I mean about them not judging.

They can offer practical advice, support and housing for women. They won't tell you here's Marie Stopes' number go get an abortion, but they certainly wouldn't berate you for thinking through all options!

clearingout

I found myself unexpectedly pregnant about 3 weeks after my husband walked out on me 20 months ago now. It was awful. He wouldn't talk but said that he didn't want me to terminate (whilst alternatively saying the baby wasn't his but that's another story!). He wouldn't, however, commit to anything other than that. Having two other children, I knew what I was letting myself in for and in the end, made the decision to keep the baby as I didn't feel I could live with the alternative. But it was hard and I went back and forwards with that decision right until the moment he was born. I wouldn't be without him now, of course, but I do know the decision to keep him has changed my life in ways that it hasn't changed my now ex-husbands.

Whilst you do, of course, need to talk to your boyfriend, in the end this is a decision that you need to make. You will live with that decision, one way or another, for the rest of your life. There are no rights and wrongs, just what you think is best in this moment right now. Good luck whatever you decide.

brians_daughter

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

An anti abortion charity that offers unbiased advice - I think not!

Ok, i have spoken to life previously - i can say, in my case they were very biased in their information. marie stopes were pro-abortion (but thats how they make their money so what do you expect!)

lauren_1

First port of call, see your doctor, explain to him your feelings.

he may suggest booking an appointment at a clinic to speak to a nurse about a termination, as a 'just in case' or back up plan. you are under no obligation but they will scan you etc etc you have the right to change your mind at any point, dont take the first appointment for the termination tho unless you are 100% certain however deciding in 8 weeks time that you want an abortion will make it more difficult.

keep your options wide open for the next 2 weeks and the main thing to remember is its your body, you have to want a termination and not just because he does.

hngrymummy

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

At this stage the "baby" is just a few cells

That's an opinion. To me my pregnancy was a baby, and a person in it's own right, AS SOON as it was conceived. To some it's not a baby until it's implanted, and to others it's not a baby until it's born. That's down to personal opinion, not fact.

To some people the choice is purely down to the mother, and the father should have no say at all. To others, the father played an integral part in the process so should be able to express his opinion on what happens.

Oldernotwiser

brians_daughter wrote: »

Ok, i have spoken to life previously - i can say, in my case they were very biased in their information.

Thanks for the confirmation.