Just found out I'm pregnant - am scared

neneromanova

gonzo127 wrote: »

explain you feelings about termination and your fears about 'what happens if i cant get pregnant again' - but also take into account that a termination will not harm your future ability to get pregnant - also termination is not 'the easy way out' as you do have to live with the consiquences of that as well which will also need to be thought about

That is totally wrong! My friend got pregnant when she was 19 by accident. Happened just like that. She had the termination and now, 10 years later, after trying for 5 years she can't get pregnant.

angelicmary85

OP if you fell you are not ready for a baby then you really should consider all the options before rushing into a decision.

If you think a baby will mess up your career and travelling but you can't terminate, then why not have it adopted? There would be many couples out there longing for a child they can't have themselves.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

pinknfluffy0

neneromanova wrote: »

That is totally wrong! My friend got pregnant when she was 19 by accident. Happened just like that. She had the termination and now, 10 years later, after trying for 5 years she can't get pregnant.

And have they said why? Have they said its the termination that has caused it?

LilacPixie

OP I am married with 2 lovely little girls. I am also pregnant with our 3rd. This baby was not planned and TBH we are both still struggling with the idea of having a 3rd child.

Please take the time to let thing settle down and speak to your OH. Only do something your are 100% happy with

Plans_all_plans

Hi OP, I totally understand where you are coming from. I was in a similar situ as you. I was in the middle of my finals at uni, my boyfriend still had 2 more years of his degree left to do and we had only been together 5 months and found out I was expecting. STRESS!! Although I was brought up to be pro-life, our first thought was that the situation was a nightmare and that we couldn't cope with a child. I booked and rebooked appointments to terminate but I knew in my heart I just couldn't do it.

I think my b/f would have been massively relieved at the time if I'd been ok with going through with the procedure, but I knew I'd be racked with guilt the rest of my life and so in the end, thought that if it came to it and he did a runner, I'd go it alone with the baby. I also knew that I'd never forgive him if he wouldn't support my decision to have our daughter and that it would spell the end of us. I would have felt like he only wanted me for sex if he couldn't cope with the (granted unintended, but still possible) consequences of the act.

What happened though was that I moved home with my parents, got a full time job, he carried on with his degree and got a part time job, giving me 2/3rds of his wages for the baby. He visited us as often as he could, even though we were 300 miles away. Once he graduated he got a full time job, I gave up work to be a stay at home mum and we recently got married.

I strongly feel that if you are prepared to work at it then, even in the most mad circumstances (as outlined above!), having a baby doesn't mean the end of the world.

I wish you all the very best of luck.

brians_daughter

pinknfluffy0 wrote: »

And have they said why? Have they said its the termination that has caused it?

Pinknfluffy you beat me to this! i was just going to ask the same question... At the end of the day ANY medical proceedure or medication can have risks...

To illustrate my point my youngest brother almost died after being given amoxocylin (a standard anti biotic for an infection) but his condition isnt the norm, the same way that termination in early pregnancy causing fertility issues is not the norm

pulliptears

Op it boils down to four words and no more.

What do YOU want?

Good luck whichever way you decide
x

pigpen

brians_daughter wrote: »

Pinknfluffy you beat me to this! i was just going to ask the same question... At the end of the day ANY medical proceedure or medication can have risks...

To illustrate my point my youngest brother almost died after being given amoxocylin (a standard anti biotic for an infection) but his condition isnt the norm, the same way that termination in early pregnancy causing fertility issues is not the norm

but it was the blanket statement that it poses no risk at all I responded to.. that isn't correct, as you say with all medical intervention there are risks.. to say there aren't is wrong.. and the doctors doing a procedure do go through it all with you before they do it anyway..

Plans_all_plans

OP, I forgot to add, I would recommend talking to the charity LIFE about your predicament. It is a pro-life organisation that offers counselling to those who are unexpectedly pregnant. They offer a non-judgmental ear and they will not try to force their beliefs on you.

I also spoke to a Marie Stopes counsellor about my situation and she clearly tried to steer me towards abortion, which I did not appreciate given my state of mind at the time. I then went to LIFE and found them to be more helpful in listening to how I felt. Their number is 0800 915 4600 and their website is http://www.lifecharity.org.uk/

graemecarter

You MUST communicate honestly and respectfully with your partner. It is his baby too remember. He has a say.

If this will be difficult, get an outside, neutral, third party involved to facilitate.
This is the kind of decision that needs to me made fairly quickly, but with A LOT of thought behind it.

Good luck - I panicked for about 7 months until my first one was born. :rotfl: