What happened to getting married before having children?

toontron

Personally I dont really think that other peoples relationship set ups, what ever form they may take are any of my business to comment on, in the same way that I wouldnt really expect anybody to voice an opinion of my own relationship setup.

lauren_1

My parents were married for 30 years before divorcing, that shattered my illusion of marriage there and then however I am getting married to my OH when we can afford to, if i get to 30 years it would have been worth it rather than divorcing after 3 or 4. I can happily see my self with OH for a long time where as with my ex's i couldnt. And i have children from previous relationships.

This is my first engagement, i turned 2 down before him

janninew

maggied wrote: »

I know it's a controversial opinion on these boards.....but maybe people should try a bit harder not to get pregnant in the first place (I know you were told you were menopausal PP so that's not directed at you). How many times do we see on these boards "oh I was on the pill, don't know how it could have possibly happened" only for them to later admit they haad food poisoning / antibiotics / forgot to take it for a few days? Or even better - the pill's no good for me I got pregnant on it twice....hmmmm!

Sorry but there's planty of good contraception which IF USED PROPERLY has very low failure rates. True 'surprises' are few and far between. (*gets flameproof suit*).

That's a very true statement, I've got a good friend who has fallen pregnant very recently and apparently it was a complete surprise!Nothing to do with her being on the pill, being the most forgetful women in the world and most days forgetting to take it!!

In my case, I had my first baby, and loved it so much I didn't bother to use contraception again with hubby and low and behold I'm preggars again!! Definietly not a surprise!! :T

lauren_1

Spender wrote: »

So let me get this straight.

You wouldnt get engaged to them but you WOULD have their kids.

Sorry I no comprehendez

Well its not hard to understand really, i dont believe marriage is taken as seriously as it used to be and didnt see myself settling down for the rest of my life with either of them apart from this one.

which bit are you not understanding.

I have been in relationships lasting 2, 4 and 5 years previous to OH, why should i have married when i didnt want to?

Mely

lauren_1 wrote: »

Well its not hard to understand really, i dont believe marriage is taken as seriously as it used to be and didnt see myself settling down for the rest of my life with either of them apart from this one.

which bit are you not understanding.

I have been in relationships lasting 2, 4 and 5 years previous to OH, why should i have married when i didnt want to?

How many different men have you had children with?

madbird_2

Me and OH have been together 6 years, we are trying for a baby...but we aren't married, shock horror. We may get married but neither of us can see what difference it will make, sorry. We have been through thick and thin through the last few years and the love and support we have for each other just gets stronger. Being married wouldn't have made it any different. Don't get me wrong we aren't the perfect couple and we have arguements like anyone else.

If we get married it will just be me, him and 2 friends as witnessess, and minimum of fuss. Having seen what family disagreements can do and nearly wreck a wedding I just don't want that (neither does OH).

My niece as different name as brothers wife is Spanish and they keep their maiden name. Niece has our surname and part of her mums. Confusing yes, do people think they aren't married, yes, so shows you can't judge anything by names either.

Oh and I am far from young as well. Guess I'm saying that if we are lucky enough to have children then our child will have a secure family unit and will be much loved and wanted.

lauren_1

Spender wrote: »

The bit I chose not to understand is the bit where you said you had no intention of staying with the blokes that you were with but you still went ahead and had kids by them anyway.

Did i say i had no intentions? I just couldn't see it.

lauren_1

Mely wrote: »

How many different men have you had children with?

How many am i allowed have children with?

Fang_3

Spender wrote: »

The bit I chose not to understand is the bit where you said you had no intention of staying with the blokes that you were with but you still went ahead and had kids by them anyway.

I don't think that poster said that at all. Perhaps you could quote exactly where she said that she: 'had no intentions of staying with them'?

Or are you twisting words?

ParaPrincess

To me marriage is just a bit of expensive paper I could spend on my children that I don't have xx