Help! Misses has aquired massive debts

dark_stranger

You say that I sound like a control freak, yes you are right, in this current situation I am being a control freak as if i dont take control, who will? no one and before we know it the balifs , etc will be knocking on the door to dismantle our home. Therefore as it stands its not a time to !!!!! foot around, but to sort this situation out before it gets so bad its no good for anyone. I do not want my kids growing up with memories of men coming round and taking the tv, etc. If you cant understand that, and maybe you cant as you may not have kids then fair enough, wait till you do.

BestFootForward_2

dark_stranger wrote:

No worries, I simply came here for financial advise & end up getting marital (although not married), sexual, financial, karma, bringing up kids & everything in between advice.

I understand how you feel mate. Most of the people on here are great. There are a few who have, shall we say, "strong views".
I've been at the receiving end of this myself under a different user name(although much more mild).

I can completely understand how you're feeling and would be feeling similar way to you.

I can imagine it's not easy to take what some people have said on the chin. My only advice is to ignore them. That way your thread will stay on track, because it's starting to become very emotive and not very constructive.
One piece of advice for you: Be more moderate in the wording of your posts. Your posts will influence the replies you get. Most people here are trying to help though.

By reading your posts and previous threads, it seems your current crisis is very much linked to the obvious problems with your relationship. By current crisis, I mean the concealment, the refusal to talk etc.

dark_stranger wrote:

You also mention about respecting her, doesnt respect have to be earnt & can it not be lost? the answer is yes to both of them.

Remember she is reacting to you. You must always respect her feelings. That is critical in a healthy relationship.

All the best
BFF

GreyPilgrim

I'm just still not entirely sure what you want from us...sounds like you've already made your mind up and every voice to the contrary gets yelled at.

Kevicho

jodie wrote:

Hi OP

I have kids with my boyfriend and we have been together 10 years too, I dont work but he works from 6am until 7pm monday - friday, we share the housework and he will look after the kids whenever I want to go out.

Sounds like you have it made love :S

jodie

Kevicho wrote:

Sounds like you have it made love :S

lol, I do but I work very hard with the kids and that and still do most of the housework (thrilling it aint), at the moment Im helping my Dad with his business (an online letting agency for his properties) so I am earning some extra cash for our holiday.

Most people would want to help put money in the house and have nice things, well i do anyway

dark_stranger

GreyPilgrim wrote:

I'm just still not entirely sure what you want from us...sounds like you've already made your mind up and every voice to the contrary gets yelled at.

I wanted advise about where i stand with balifs, what they can/can not take, advise on approaching CC Companies, links to sites, etc. I never once mentioned i needed advise on bringing up my kids or gardening (ok, bit extreme). But you see my point. I got more than i bargined for, and that seems to be the trend for this week, 10k skinter.

Little_Miss_Winner

Hi ds

You have my sympathies, and NO-ONE nows just how they would react in your situation.

Have you had the chance yet to sit down, and work out with your girlfirned exactly where the money has gone, and which cc's she owes what to?

B4 you can move forward you need a plan of action, you need every detail down to the last penny so you can work together to come up with a strategy.

hugs
pot

jodie

dark_stranger wrote:

I wanted advise about where i stand with balifs, what they can/can not take, advise on approaching CC Companies, links to sites, etc. I never once mentioned i needed advise on bringing up my kids or gardening (ok, bit extreme). But you see my point. I got more than i bargined for, and that seems to be the trend for this week, 10k skinter.

Dont let them in your front door, once they are in they can come back whenever they want (including breaking in).

Have you tried you nearest citizens advice? They can be very helpful in these situations

GreyPilgrim

dark_stranger wrote:

I wanted advise about where i stand with balifs, what they can/can not take, advise on approaching CC Companies, links to sites, etc. I never once mentioned i needed advise on bringing up my kids or gardening (ok, bit extreme). But you see my point. I got more than i bargined for, and that seems to be the trend for this week, 10k skinter.

I'm sure it was all given with the best intentions mate. We've all been through the mill, and this is more of a community than just an information board. Everyone feels for you and your situation and maybe we just tried a bit too hard and overstepped the mark slightly. If I've done that then I'll certainly apologise...it's just hard to watch someone going through this, especially when there are kids involved without giving advice when we've all been through similar situations.

You have my best wishes DS and I genuinely hope that you manage to get this sorted out with your other half mate. Apologies again if I've been out of order - now I think it's best if I pick up my drink and move to another table.

GP

Kevicho

jodie wrote:

lol, I do but I work very hard with the kids and that and still do most of the housework (thrilling it aint), at the moment Im helping my Dad with his business (an online letting agency for his properties) so I am earning some extra cash for our holiday.

Most people would want to help put money in the house and have nice things, well i do anyway

Cool on the business, keep up the good work, also ive never said that doing housework or looking after kids is easy, so i hope it didnt sound like that.

Nice things are overrated, i prefer to keep my life simple and have as few items as possible

Thats just me though, me and my paganism