Supporting a pregnant partner

Gordon_Hose

I wouldn't say she's having "6 months off" lol

pelirocco

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

No different in monthly payment for her, no.

We have a joint gym membership, and trust me...she'll want to use it. If only for the swimming pool and sauna/steam. She would see the gym as a bit of freedom, and I certainly wouldn't take that away from her, if she suggested cancelling the gym then yeah, that's different. I won't be suggesting it though.

trust me , after having a baby it's a major achievement to brush your hair

pelirocco

Charlie1978 wrote: »

I know. But times change. I would no longer use a rag as a sanitary towel yet that's what they used to use.

I'd be lost without my mobile phone. Because i've become dependant on it. I guess I could go without if I had to. And would if it meant my kids needed to eat. But the situation isn't like that for me. And I doubt it is for them either. Only they can work out their finances and make the decisions though.

No one is saying she or even he shouldnt have a phone , just she might have to set her sights a bit lower

Gordon_Hose

pelirocco wrote: »

trust me , after having a baby it's a major achievement to brush your hair

I agree, but what I am saying is that it'll be up to her if she wants to cancel. Otherwise we'll just keep it going, so she has the option to sit in a steam room/sauna to relax and unwind, while I'm at home with Baby

jtr2803

I just can't believe some of the comments on this thread......this is my point of view and I am a mum and did my stint on maternity with a baby before anyone wants to jump down my throat.


No....I don't see that she should have a new iphone and expect you to foot the bill, even if it is the same as her existing contract monthly costs. My reasoning is that a mobile phone is a necessity for most people but not one that has to cost £35+ a month!! When I had my daughter my husband covered the mortgage and bills but I paid for MY luxuries out of my own money, I would never in a million years expect him to pay for my phone bill. Just like I never went and blew loads of his earnings on clothes, that all came out of my money too!

Some people have suggested OP 'wont let her have.....'. Um, if they have a child and she gives up work that's her choice and surely she must recognise that to have that benefit she might have to give up things she would have taken for granted before?!!? What really gets my goat are comments of 'she is giving up her body to have your child and you wont let her have a phone'.....what planet are some people on? Surely the OP's other half wants a baby or it wouldn't even be on the agenda......It would THEIR child and SHE has to also consider the financial burden.

OP, no offence to your other half but I think she needs to be grateful that you are offering to foot her half of all the bills in the first place, there are many many couples who can't afford to even consider having children as they both have to work to live. I think you need to explain this to her and decide what each of you need to fund jointly and what should be kept seperate.

mikey72

Get the iphone, and order the full sky package for yourself at the same time.
She'll understand.

Gordon_Hose

Financial support and footing her half of the bills is part of an equal relationship IMO. I just don't know where I need to draw a line that isn't abusive.

mikey72

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

Financial support and footing her half of the bills is part of an equal relationship IMO. I just don't know where I need to draw a line that isn't abusive.

Buy her food.

Charlie1978

pelirocco wrote: »

No one is saying she or even he shouldnt have a phone , just she might have to set her sights a bit lower

Fair enough. We've all had to do it at some point in our lives!

I just worry that the new iphone is her way of having one last 'treat' before the baby comes along and she knows it'll be years before she can have any other treats. I dunno. I don't know her or the OP. Just offering some thoughts.

Turtle

OP, I don't think you're being unreasonable, I think you're being sensible. Some people are, unfairly in my opinion, giving you a hard time. I think you sound like a really nice guy and if you can't afford it I hope your OH accepts that.

I'm glad my OH and I do not want children!