Supporting a pregnant partner

GEEGEE8

Hmmm, it's a tough one...

I'd let her get one, but then I'm a softy.. lol.

I only spend £15 on my phone though, and have put off the whole iPhone idea as it is expensive and me and OH are saving for a holiday. Plus with going uni this year I'm going to be poor aswell..

Costs of phones do add up, and really £35 is a lot each month.

Do you know if the phone will cost anything?

Counting_Pennies_2

In the early days my husband wasn't willing to 'give up' his income for me to share.

So while I was on maternity leave, I continued to pay my items out of my maternity pay and he paid the household bills.

However when the decision was taken that it would be best if I stayed at home and the maternity pay had finished we then did a split of the money.

We calculated how much money the bills would cost each month, included in the yearly costs just divided it by 12 to get the monthly amount. We then took that figure from his salary, another figure for savings, and what was left we divided by 2 and we each had an equal 'salary' each month for spending money.

This worked fine for a few years, but found the costs increased as another child came along and my husband was always 'bailing' me out, and I felt very stressed going cap in hand all the time to afford a birthday present etc. So we ended up setting up a credit card for me to spend everything that involved family costs (i.e not something for me personally) and that stopped all the worries about money.

Whatever you do, please sit down and discuss it between yourselves before you have a baby. You need stability when little one comes along. Just bumbling along with money will cause resentment for one or other at some point, so deal with it head on now, while you have rational heads on.

Gordon_Hose

alleycat` wrote: »

Does slightly change my view - in as much as this shouldn't be a "new cost" in your SOA.

It is still a luxury but not something "new" cost wise.

I suppose really it comes down to do you both consider your money joint or not?
If you do then does it matter who pays for what if you are going to have a family and a life together.

Also just FYI:-

In essence she is risking her credit on you paying her finance in the circumstances described.

If you fail to pay she is the one left with the blackmarks..

We both have separate wages, and bank accounts...but it's "our" money. Albeit it not so much at the moment as she spends her own, as I do mine...but if she gets pregnant then it'll all be "our" money

I'll be dropping my mobile phone contract down to the cheapest I can get it, to save money. I don't expect her to do the same, it's up to her what she does, but I understand that cutbacks in current expenditure are necessary.

Make-it-3

Having a child means usually means financial sacrifices on both partners. Also, you need to think more about your finances being joined - as it is a decision you both make together but adversely affects the female's earnings potential for a considerable time.

What concerns me is you attitude about what you should let her have. You need to work out together how much you will have to live on with one salary plus whatever maternity benefits/pay she will get. If this covers all the basics then you can look at what's left and how you each want to spend that.

Gordon_Hose

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

Hmmm, it's a tough one...

I'd let her get one, but then I'm a softy.. lol.

I only spend £15 on my phone though, and have put off the whole iPhone idea as it is expensive and me and OH are saving for a holiday. Plus with going uni this year I'm going to be poor aswell..

Costs of phones do add up, and really £35 is a lot each month.

Do you know if the phone will cost anything?

It's not about me letting her get one, I can't control what she does and doesn't get. I just feel I need to point out the financial implication in her getting one

The phone is free, she never pays for phones.

Perdi

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

Contract phone, £35 per month. The iPhone would be the same. Her contract just ran out, hence she is looking for a new phone.

Currently she works full time so she pays her phone bill, but once on maternity leave she suggested I could pay it. I said I wasn't sure about that, then felt a bit guilty and came here to gather opinions.

OK that is a bit different - I thought it was a new cost too.
So, is this cost not already factored into your budgets? Is the reaction that you she's getting something new and shiny and you want too?

I would say not paying for a mobile phone for her at all would be unreasonable (you'd want her to be able to contact you if she got into problems!) but it might be worth considering whether the contract will be excessive when she's at home with a new baby if you already have a landline.

Tigsteroonie

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

I'll be dropping my mobile phone contract down to the cheapest I can get it, to save money. I don't expect her to do the same, it's up to her what she does, but I understand that cutbacks in current expenditure are necessary.

Anybody else see a slippery slope here?

I think you need to discuss this with your partner and explain thatyou are dropping your contract to save money because cutbacks in current expenditure are necessary, see how she responds. If she doesn't offer to curb her expenditure too, then I think you may have problems in the future.

JMO.

Gordon_Hose

Make-it-3 wrote: »

What concerns me is you attitude about what you should let her have.

Sorry, what "attitude"?

Charlie1978

Put it this way - she goes into labour and can't let you know because you wouldn't pay for her phone bill. She's out and about and run out of credit on her payg sim. She's now, pregnant, in labour and panicking without you. How would you feel?

In this day and age a mobile phone is pretty much a necessity. Well it is for me i'm afraid. And if the new contract isn't any different to the old contract then I don't see the problem. I thought it might be an added expense but it isn't.

I don't however agree with buying her a new phone just because she's having his baby. If that's the case then where does it end?? Spoilt brat wants a car next month and you should buy it her because she's having your baby? And i'm not calling her a spoilt brat before anyone jumps on my back. I'm saying her expecting a phone because she is having his baby is spoilt brattish. But I don't think she does. I think she just see's it as a replacement contract tbh. And to me if there are no added expense then I don't see why she can't have it.

alleycat`

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

I'll be dropping my mobile phone contract down to the cheapest I can get it, to save money. I don't expect her to do the same, it's up to her what she does, but I understand that cutbacks in current expenditure are necessary.

I suppose this is what it comes down to.
You are suggesting you need to do this to yourself for financial reasons.
If cutbacks are necessary i'd expect my partner to look at areas they could free up finance too.
It is a team game after all

The best advise seems to be put it all down on paper and work out what you have left to spend on what and review it regularly.