Supporting a pregnant partner

GEEGEE8

Think of the iPhone as compensation for having a baby pass through her lady bits! lol.

Seriously though, a baby could take ages, and if she doesn't have any other expensive luxuries then why not? It might keep her amused whilst she is on Maternity leave.

Perdi

Seriously? You all think she's being reasonable?
An iPhone is a luxury item, she could get a cheap PAYG phone for under a tenner if she needs to be in contact with people.
The OP is being MSE and looking realistically at their budget. Getting upset with him because he won't buy her an expensive toy makes her sound like a spoiled child rather than the OP.

I do not expect my OH to provide me with luxuries when I (hopefully) go on maternity leave. I would however expect him to put more of his salary in to cover the bills etc and, as a couple, we are prepared for the drop in income and have adjusted our expectations.

Since everyone else always jumps to wild conclusions about these things - is your partner actually ready to accept the change in lifestyle a child would bring?

youngie

I think you both need to sit down and do a budget forecast for when you start your family if there is cash to spare then ok let her have her iphone if not she and you will both have to agree that you both have to make sacrafices to have a family, children are expensive

Charlie1978

I guess it boils down to what can you guys afford??? On just your wage??? If you are only just above water now then a new mobile phone contract lasting 2 years is actually a lot to consider. It's an extra bill for 2 years.

If she already has a mobile phone then getting a new one is a luxury item. I'm sorry but it is. It isn't needed and therefore is just 'wanted'. And that is ok. But can they afford it??? Then you need to ask, if she didn't get her new iphone but the contract is due to run out would she renew anyhow??? I suspect the answer is yes as she needs a means of communication. So I guess you need to factor in the difference of the price of the new contract (because it is an iphone and these contracts cost more) and what her old one was. You'll probably find it's a maximum of £20 a month difference. The best thing the OP can do is to ask if £20 a month would make a huge difference to budgeting.

If not, then she can have it.

I can imagine OP is slightly worrying about having to pay all the finances for them both. There isn't anything wrong with that and he's not saying anything bad towards his partner for giving up work. He just wants to provide for his family. An iphone sounds frivolous. But it may not be that much difference once you've worked out costs.

Don't jump on his back for thinking carefully about finances and wanting to provide for his family though. We all have a budget to live on. He's trying to be sensible. Not nasty!

diable

Tell her you need a two seater sports convertible to keep yourself amused............. ;o)))

alleycat`

ClareEmily wrote: »

Actually I also agree with this thinking about it a contract phone shouldn't cost too much a month, the morgage/rent is more of a worry. However she will get some money from the government which will help towards bills.

IPhone contracts are in the region of £35+ a month and a couple of hundred quid to buy the phone as well.

It will rack up in the region of £1,000 over 2 years in costs.

They are not an insignificant cost but again it comes down to what the "SOA" looks like and if they can afford this item should circumstances change.

My wife and i have a system that we know what our committed outgoings are each month and if either of us want a "non-necessary" item we agree it with each other.

I certainly don't consider the OP a monster for raising the question of whether an iphone or a flash tv or anything else is at the top of a list of things to be looking at if you aren't sure what your finances will look like in x-months time.

Gordon_Hose

Perdi wrote: »

Seriously? You all think she's being reasonable?
An iPhone is a luxury item, she could get a cheap PAYG phone for under a tenner if she needs to be in contact with people.
The OP is being MSE and looking realistically at their budget. Getting upset with him because he won't buy her an expensive toy makes her sound like a spoiled child rather than the OP.

I do not expect my OH to provide me with luxuries when I (hopefully) go on maternity leave. I would however expect him to put more of his salary in to cover the bills etc and, as a couple, we are prepared for the drop in income and have adjusted our expectations.

Since everyone else always jumps to wild conclusions about these things - is your partner actually ready to accept the change in lifestyle a child would bring?

Thanks. Yes she is ready to accept the change in lifestyle.

We don't have an extravagant lifestyle as it is, medicore 2 bed flat, 2 cheap cars, both over 10 years old that we own outright and we go out for a meal maybe twice a moth, which I pay for anyway.

My wage would cover the mortgage and bills, and I have already said I would will cover those...like I said, I'm trying to figure out if I *should* pay for her phone bill, and gather other peoples opinions on it.

My gut says I should pay it, because I want her to have nice things, I just worry about the financial strain.

Cutbacks in current expenditure go without saying.

Soubrette

Perdi wrote: »

Seriously? You all think she's being reasonable?
An iPhone is a luxury item, she could get a cheap PAYG phone for under a tenner if she needs to be in contact with people.
The OP is being MSE and looking realistically at their budget. Getting upset with him because he won't buy her an expensive toy makes her sound like a spoiled child rather than the OP.

First everyone else has not jumped to wild conclusions - you may want to read more than just the posts you disagree with

Secondly - is she being reasonable? We don't know the incomings and outgoings of the family when and if they have a baby - so we can't really judge on whether either of them are being reasonable on the facts given, can we?

For example - working partner has a mobile phone contract for £50 a month and a blackberry but expects the non working partner to buy a less than a tenner paye - unreasonable behaviour from the working partner imo.

Working partner struggling to cover essentials and has a less than a tenner paye but non working partner expects a mobile phone contract for £50pm and a blackberry - also unreasonable but this time by the non working partner.

Sou

ClareEmily

alleycat` wrote: »

IPhone contracts are in the region of £35+ a month and a couple of hundred quid to buy the phone as well.

It will rack up in the region of £1,000 over 2 years in costs.

They are not an insignificant cost but again it comes down to what the "SOA" looks like and if they can afford this item should circumstances change.

My wife and i have a system that we know what our committed outgoings are each month and if either of us want a "non-necessary" item we agree it with each other.

I certainly don't consider the OP a monster for raising the question of whether an iphone or a flash tv or anything else is at the top of a list of things to be looking at if you aren't sure what your finances will look like in x-months time.

LOL see how much I know, not up to date with modern phones sadly I still have a Nokia type brick.

pigpen

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

Easy tiger. I'm not some controlling brute that keeps her under lock and key, feeding her on fried crickets and urine. She's given nothing up for me, nor would I expect her to, she makes her own decisions. She's not even pregnant yet, if you had read my post you'd have clearly seen that I said we were "talking about starting a family"

If she smoked I wouldn't give her money for it, no. You shouldn't smoke when pregnant anyway, it's bad for the baby.

She goes out when she wants to.

Smoking is bad full stop..

She would be giving things up for you though having a baby.. she'd be giving up her body for the duration.. her work for the maternity leave time.. she can't go out whenever she wants with a baby.. that would all be for you both.

I think you seriously need to look at your priorities.. and like I said it might take more than 2 years to conceive so what difference does it make if she gets a phone now? She could always save the money now for her contract payments while she is off work.. Or pay a lump sum in advance to cover her time off.