Supporting a pregnant partner

Gordon_Hose

Perdi wrote: »

OK that is a bit different - I thought it was a new cost too.
So, is this cost not already factored into your budgets? Is the reaction that you she's getting something new and shiny and you want too?

I would say not paying for a mobile phone for her at all would be unreasonable (you'd want her to be able to contact you if she got into problems!) but it might be worth considering whether the contract will be excessive when she's at home with a new baby if you already have a landline.

No, no, she can have all the shiny stuff she wants, I'm happy with my phone No jealousy here! lol

It wasn't factored into until now, when she suggested I could pay for it. Nothing was mentioned previously, so I assumed that responsibility remained with her...maybe I was naive to assume that, I dunno, but that's why I'm here

Soubrette

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

I'll be dropping my mobile phone contract down to the cheapest I can get it, to save money. I don't expect her to do the same, it's up to her what she does, but I understand that cutbacks in current expenditure are necessary.

Does she know this though?

I'd be pretty miffed if I thought my partner was maintaining his lifestyle while I stayed at home with baby on a reduced lifestyle.

And pretty embarrassed if it then turned out he'd been quietly downgrading while I was getting all shirty

You both need to talk

Also is she planning to go back to work after the baby - if not then she can't really be responsible for any of her own outgoings and she'll have no incomings (apart from child support).

Sou

alleycat`

Charlie1978 wrote: »

I think she just see's it as a replacement contract tbh. And to me if there are no added expense then I don't see why she can't have it.

I think this is probably the case too.

The question comes back to why does the OP feel that he needs to be cutting back his call plan and should the lady in question be lowering her sites in the equivalent manor to a £15 to £20 plan with a slightly less swanky phone?

Charlie1978

alleycat` wrote: »

I think this is probably the case too.

The question comes back to why does the OP feel that he needs to be cutting back his call plan and should the lady in question be lowering her sites in the equivalent manor to a £15 to £20 plan with a slightly less swanky phone?

I've got to admit, I've got an iphone. I'm not urgently desperate for the new one but I know i'll get it. And I know the hubby won't bat an eyelid at it as i'll just work overtime to buy it. I don't do contracts personally.

But I LOVE the phone!!! I'll never swap now to a different one. What can I say? Hubby likes his cars and his xbox. Well I like my phones!!!

But if we couldn't afford it then I wouldn't have it. And that is the bottom line.

Gordon_Hose

Soubrette wrote: »

Does she know this though?

I'd be pretty miffed if I thought my partner was maintaining his lifestyle while I stayed at home with baby on a reduced lifestyle.

And pretty embarrassed if it then turned out he'd been quietly downgrading while I was getting all shirty

You both need to talk

Also is she planning to go back to work after the baby - if not then she can't really be responsible for any of her own outgoings and she'll have no incomings (apart from child support).

Sou

As I said previously, we don't have an exuberant lifestyle anyway, so I won't be maintaining any sort of playboy existence while OH is at home, up to the eyeballs in nappies Like I said, I work from home anyway, so I'll be here with her almost all of the time.

I'm dropping my tariff down to save money, for both of us.

She wants to go back to work part time after the baby is born.

JimmyTheWig

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

It wasn't factored into until now, when she suggested I could pay for it. Nothing was mentioned previously, so I assumed that responsibility remained with her...maybe I was naive to assume that, I dunno, but that's why I'm here

If she is giving up work (at least for a while) to have your baby then how else do you think she is going to pay for it?

Looking after a baby is a full time job. The fact that you don't get paid for it isn't your girlfriend's fault.
I think if you are going to make this work then you need to give up the idea that wages that get paid in your name aren't yours but are yours and your girlfriends. Therefore it needs to be joint decissions as to whether to take out a new contract, etc.

It isn't a case of _you_ paying the bill. It is a case of _you both_ paying the bill from the only source of income that you have.

Soubrette

Gordon_Hose wrote: »

I'm dropping my tariff down to save money, for both of us.

She wants to go back to work part time after the baby is born.

Does she know this though

Personally I would work out a budget together assuming that a) you get pregnant right away and b) she does not want to go back to work. Anything extra would be a bonus

Sou

Gordon_Hose

Soubrette wrote: »

Does she know this though

Personally I would work out a budget together assuming that a) you get pregnant right away and b) she does not want to go back to work. Anything extra would be a bonus

Sou

She does know, yes

diable

Look her straight in the eye and say "darling it's up to you, you can have a baby or an iPhone but not both" and then go down the pub with your mates leaving her to ponder..........

morg_monster

Tigsteroonie wrote: »

Why does she want an iPhone? If it's for browsing, apps & checking email when at work, it may be worth pointing out that once she's had the baby, she'll be at home much more and can use a netbook for all that, the iPhone will get much less use.

that isn't how iPhones work..... netbooks are NOT the same! tp start with - no apps! (Unless you get her an iPad!!! Now there's another good idea!) And you don't just put your iPhone down when you come in the door from work and pick it up the next morning. I pick it up on and off all evening; I sometimes go days without opening the laptop, as its so convenient for emailing and using the web. Much better than a netbook; unless you find the small size of the iphone annoying / gives you a headache (most people don't; and if you do; a small netbook is probably similarly trying!).

Actually my friend is a new mum and says her iPhone has been a godsend (well, relatively speaking...). Her baby likes to be held as much as possible and is pretty fractious; with the iPhone she can hold baby / jiggle baby / push baby in rocking basket / breastfeed / entertain with handpuppet while emailing, surfing, facebooking. Yes I know its all a luxury but for her with few friends in the same situation (new mum) its been great for her to keep in touch with everyone and not feel as alone, especially with having a really fussy baby. Also new Dad has one and so she can send him videos and pictures of bubs every day :-) or once even a precious 5 minute recording of blessed SILENCE!! (it's a rarity in their house...)