Controlling Mother in law

lynzpower

@Starlite :eek: Thats unbelievable!!!! Going through your bills :eek:

starlite_2

I know, it is so rude, yet she's happy to recount stories of her own 'terrible mother' who would go through her drawers and cupboards when visiting.

Annoyingly it was an ntl bill where they kept charging us line rental despite us having switched to bt three months previously, so we were not paying it for good reason. Obviously once it was paid we had a real struggle getting the money back from them! Plus we could do the £6 per week license payments, but to be asked for it in a lump sum was impossible. argh argh.

ooobedoo

I am so glad I don't speak my MIL, she is a pain in the **** but lives in Kent and we live in Portsmouth.

She has always been a pain but when we were planning the wedding she was trying to inject her idea's. When DH was sailing to the Gulf, we told everybody that we just wanted time the 3 of us. She insisted on coming down, then when we told everybody to not make a fuss when he sailed out, they still came down, she rang and said to DH 'I know you don't want us to come down but we are anyway' she then didn't write to him the whole time he was 'at war' and then gave a paper interview article when he was on his way back. She kept on ringing me while he was away, so I just avoided the calls(I love caller ID) I picked up the phone one day and told her to leave me alone, if I wanted to speak to her I would answer the phone, she continued so I told her I would get an injunction out on her if she continued to call. I also told her that if she wanted to know how DS is, she should contact her son and ask.

When he was about to go away last year, they again insisted on coming down. They put me on the spot by asking to have DS for the weekend while DH was away, I reluctantly agreed. I wrote a list of do's and don'ts and they pretty much ignored all of them and the result is that he came home after having 3 people's undivided attention to me, who can't spend 24hours aday playing with him. She ran g a few days later to ask how he was, I said not good actually, he has been a little **** you kept him up, you fed him crap, he is and has been bouncing off the walls, you gave him juice(I only let him have milk or water) and I think you have been very distrespectful, you know I am on my own and he has been awful. I gave you rules that you seem to have gone out of your way to ignore and I am very unhappy and you will NEVER have him on your own again. I told them to put him on the toilet at aout 10.30/11.00 and they ignored that and he wet the bed.

They don't like me as I speak my mind. Whenever DH has taken DS to Kent, I stay here, she has gone on about me everytime he has gone over so about 2 months ago when she rang I told her to stop !!!!!ing about me, if she has somethign to say, then she should grow a pair and ring me.

I love not talking to her, it's so much less stress than when I had to.

Nobody would of been good enough for her darling son....I am soooooo not going to be like her.Sorry rant over!!!

starlite_2

Yes everyone says to me 'you'll probably be a mil at some point, don't be so judgemental'
but thats beside the point, I will not be like mine.

After our baby was born she came (against our wishes) to stay with us for five days, and claimed to have booked into a hotel and they had double booked her. I wouldn't mind if she was there to support and help us but she wasn't. She refused to drive to the hospital to pick up my prescription (this was two days after I gave birth!) so DH had to go on his own walking, and on the bus.
She also expected me to cook dinner and make her coffee/tea at will and also even asked me to do some of her laundry for her!

There's also the small matter that this was the most amazing time of our lives, which we wanted to spend together, alone, and it was essentially ruined by the burden of having her to stay with us.

Needless to say, she no longer is welcome for overnight visits and we barely see her at all.

Boatie_Bird

pbradley936 wrote:

Read "The little house" by Phillipa Gregory.

I agree - one of the spookiest books I've ever read - with one of the best endings!

cupid_s

Boatie_Bird wrote:

I agree - one of the spookiest books I've ever read - with one of the best endings!

what happens in the end?

ooobedoo

Starlite-I think you are fantasically patient, I would of kicked her out!!!!

My friend had every man and his dog round, and she waited on them hand and foot till the midwife came round and told her to go into the bedroom and gave all her visitors a bollocking, esp her MIL, pointing out that she had been through it and she really should know better, they were good after that.

rio

starlite wrote:

My MIL goes through our drawers too, and even through our file of bills etc. She once paid off a phonebill and renewed our tv license for us, whilst we were at the supermarket, but the phonebill was in dispute and we had been accepted onto the weekly payment scheme for the new tv license so planned to pay it that way.
You may think 'how lovely' but she called every other day demanding the money back asap.

My MIL was exactly the same. When we got married we wanted to keep the honeymoon details a secret. She went through our correspondence, found out the details and announced them to everyone at our wedding reception. Mind you she unwrapped my sister and brother in law's wedding presents while they were on honeymoon and she had a key to their flat so I suppose I got off lightly!!

shortperson

Oh at least I am not the only one with MIL problems - mine doesn't like me because she thinks I've made her son into someone different and bad, even though he's the same person I met and fell in love with 4 years ago, but obviously I am all powerful and can cast spells and make people do and say what I want...wish I could do that and spell my mortgage company into cancelling off the mortgage

Anyway, to all those who have controlling parents or parents in law, I can wholeheartedly recommend Cutting Loose: An Adult's Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents, available from Amazon from £0.63

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cutting-Loose-An-Adults-Guide-Coming-Terms-Your-Parents/dp/0671696041/sr=8-3/qid=1157618491/ref=sr_1_3/202-2972265-3755003?ie=UTF8&s=gateway

It changed mine & my DH's life, for the better, in terms of dealing with his controlling and needy parents, and helped to regain control of our lives...

Mrs_pbradley936

cupid_stunt wrote:

what happens in the end?

That would spoil it, but let's just say it stopped the evil mother-in-law from causing any more trouble.