Controlling Mother in law

ooobedoo

How about you take some annual leave and come home early when you know when she will be there?

How about just telling her that you are sick of her slagging you off to 'your family' and it's not acceptable behaviour to look in other people's drawers, change and wash stuff, ask her if she would put up with it? Maybe I am to confrontational but I think that by your DH not defending you and your values he is essentially 'allowing it'. Good Luck

jaydani

Am definately going to change the locks & have asked Oh to say something however he had the chance today as he popped round MIL with kids today on the way back from his grandads while I was at home. Had the perfect opportunity to ask why they had come in whilst we were on holiday but 'forgot'.

Whilst there she stuffed the kids full of food & told them to ask me for some of the lovely food she left in our fridge! when my son came in he demanded food just as nanny had ordered- I said no as he had just had lunch so the result was a tantrum:mad:

I know why oh is stalling - basically we are in debt & cannot even afford the bills at the moment (due to his new business venture). They have given us money towards a car this year plus if we go out with them they won't let us pay for anything plus all the rest already mentioned. I think he feels the help might be taken away if we lay the law down.

I do want to say something assertively but I tend to say the wrong thing & make matters worse!! She is pleasant to my face when I do see her because I tolerate her this also makes it hard to bring up a difficult subject - last time I was shaking after the argument!

Anyway thanks so much for your help - will let you know how i get on.

Jaydani:o

BlondieE

Hi,

Feel sorry for you. I have a friend who's mil is exactly the same!! I wouldn't put up with it your OH has to take control of this one and speak to his mother. I also had friends who had keys and stayed in my house looking through everything - I was furious!

homersimpson_3

has your mother-in-law got a key to your house? does she do these things when you or husband are not there?

Every monday she looks after my son so she has all day to please herself. She irons all day while he watches TV. He starts school in September so DH reckons it won't be a problem after that but who's he kidding she will still come round whenever she likes.

take your son to her house and ask or key back. if she won''t give it back change the locks. put all the washing and ironing in the cupboard with a lock- if there's none around she can't do it.

nearlyrich

I am so glad my MIL wasn't like this, you have to be strong and stand up for yourself, it's your family and you are the one (along with your OH) who deicdes what they should eat and when they need new pillows etc.

homersimpson_3

I know why oh is stalling - basically we are in debt & cannot even afford the bills at the moment (due to his new business venture). They have given us money towards a car this year plus if we go out with them they won't let us pay for anything plus all the rest already mentioned. I think he feels the help might be taken away if we lay the law down.

is there anyway you can borrow money at 0% -see stoozing forum- pay them off and therefore no debt and no obligation. stop going out with them until you are financially better off- just say too busy with business.

Whilst there she stuffed the kids full of food & told them to ask me for some of the lovely food she left in our fridge! when my son came in he demanded food just as nanny had ordered- I said no as he had just had lunch so the result was a tantrum

she shouldn't use the children - you and not her are the child's mother!

ooobedoo

Tell her you have left your keys at home....or locked them in the house and could they come round and let you in, and just keep the keys??????

homersimpson_3

better still tell her you lost them! that way there is only one set- tell husband not to get another one cut for her.

ooobedoo

great minds...........

kit

Good luck with this.

My MIL would LOVE a key to my house but she is never getting one!

She 'stole' my daughter the other day. She came round to amusing DD while my partner and I were going some DIY. She wanted to babysit DD at her house but I said no as DD was poorly and I preferred that MIL came here to watch her so I was nearby.
As soon as she got to our house she took DD out to the local shop to 'get a few bits' granny needed.
A few hours later they were not back, we phoned her house to see if grandad had heard from her..... turns out she didnt go shopping, she just took my DD straight back to her house.
This was about 2pm. We asked her to bring her back, she said she would in a bit. In the end we went and picked her up a 6pm as she hadnt bought her home. I was LIVID!

Your husband needs to support you. Change the locks, tell her she can only come round when arrangements have been made - no 'popping' round. Ask your husband to support this by not letting her in if she comes round uninvited.

They are your children and everyone should respect your (and your husbands) wishes.