Solving Family Rows

*Louise*

Flipping heck Gemma, you don't hang about :T:T:T

It's sad that it has come to this, but she has brought it all on herself. Fair enough it was a family argument at first, but she was the one who initiated talk of legal action. You have done what any mother would to protect her children.

When I read the comment about the holiday home I thought immediately of my previous post - I thought I was being a little TOO worried, but it seems I wasn't far off the mark after all.

Any future mother in law thread on this forum....I will be reading them and thinking of yours!

Btw - you will let us know what happens when she gets that letter won't you??

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

If there are reports of a compact nuclear explosion shortly after the postman has been, we'll know who it is

She has well and truly lost the plot the instant you said no. In some ways it answers why your ex has been so unpleasant to you, doesn't it?

Record everything, take everything she says as an outright lie, use recording equipment (even without asking her permission) as even if it is not submissible in court, a recording of her threatening you is still more useful than you would think, if nothing else because it proves your replies or reaction aren't the way they had been reported.

Be very careful she doesn't start insinuating that you might be following the same path as your parents. Every medication you take needs to be prescribed by your GP (no solpadene or codeine cough mixture over the counter, for example).

You will be fine, but you have to be so careful not to give her any ammunition. Custody battles are vile things, especially when they are brought out of feelings of entitlement rather than love.

Do not trust her - ever. She could pretend to change, just to get the overnight stay necessary for an abduction.

Failing that, I volunteer to stand guard outside your flat with a baseball bat

Minxy_Bella

Well done, Gemma! You've done exactly the right thing - you ruddy go, girl!

As others have said, I honestly don't think you're ever going to be able to trust her to take the kids out unsupervised again - she's blown that. Perhaps - way down the road - if she's very, very contrite, she could see them at a social services supervised contact centre or something?

And I also agree about the prescription thing - don't give her any fuel for her crazy fire. I can't help but think she's going to up the ante now out of pure rage. I do hope I'm wrong but I can't believe anyone will take her seriously!

Keep your chin up, missus - you're setting your children a fine role model, even if they don't know what's going on.

paddy's_mum

What's that old saying about when somebody gets their knickers in a twist and goes way too far ... ?

Oh, yes - give her enough rope and she'll hang herself.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when this thug of a woman reads the solicitor's letter, wouldn't you?! :rotfl:

shellsuit

Oh my word, I can't believe what this woman has done!

What a controlling and coniving b!tch.

GG I wish you all the best with this, and with the birth too of course! I'm glad that you are your ex are able to speak about this, what does he have to say about his Mothers latest behaviour?

RAS

Glad to see your thread back.

Will post roughly what got lost last night.

1. Do not even read any texts from this women over the next few weeks. Get ex to read them sometime. Save them as evidence if necessary.
2. Ask your phone provider if you can block her number for the next few weeks.
3. If she does ring you and you answer her, record any phone calls. Tell her you are doing this and it is for legal purposes. It might be worth the reduction in aggression versus the additional evidence.

Make sure you tell her you are very pregnant, do not need her aggression and that she does not have a leg to stand on legally.

Get the children's passports somewhere safe, preferably out of the house.

Tell people what has happened. Part of her power is in dissing you publically and hoping to embaress you. I know this is not the best time to get a thick skin but your best form of defence is attack. Most of your female contacts will understand your stance on ex being their when junior is born and MIL.

If the kids go anywhere on a playdate, tell the parents exactly what the situation is.

Zazen999

And at the end of the day....all this is over you not wanting your Ex in the room when you give birth....which you had agreed with your ex and was nobody's business in the first place.

She's gone too far and knows it; I really wonder what her next step is. Well done to your solicitor for getting a letter out sharpish....

I just hope you can relax and spend this time with your [YOUR] girls and await baby's arrival without worrying over what she is going to do next. Have you agreed with your Ex to only tell her once the birth and following hours/days are over in case she storms over and starts to create whilst you are in the process of giving birth?

sueeve

I do think you should take the advice about getting the passports out of the house, to somwhere that she could never guess. Or the solicitor or bank would store them for you. Perhaps the solicitor would not charge for the moment as you have given her other business.

mistrihelen

I'm absolutely gobsmacked, GG. I remember reading your last thread and thinking you were being so nice to your MIL who'd obviously lost the plot a bit. You were being so reasonable that I thought she'd eventually realise how awful she'd been and apologise - but no! It's so absurd that this started because you (again, very reasonably) didn't want your ex-partner in the room during birth. Plenty of people don't want their actual partners in the room during birth, never mind someone who has in the past betrayed them!

From what you've said it now seems that she's always been quite controlling/domineering, but because you've never queried her before (not your fault if you were happy with what she wanted), she's now unable to cope with a big change that means she has no powers of decision-making at all. So she's unhappy with the birth, the fact you got to choose a name, and that you are mothering your own daughters!

As you say, I think this is bridges burned - how could you ever trust her to look after your girls on her own again? I think she has a huge amount of ground to cover to even partially make it up to you, and I don't think she'll be able to do it.

Best of luck with the legal stuff, changing the locks and making sure no one else can pick your daughters up from anywhere. You may need to be vigilant for quite some time - it's good that ex-p is onside for now, let's hope he stays that way.

Keep us updated if you can.

GobbledyGook

Thanks for the suggestion about the passports, I hadn't thought of that and she knows exactly where they are as well.

So I've moved them and some other papers to a safe place.

Gemma x