Worst Day ever!

pandora205

A significant minority of teenagers have these sort of problems but it doesn't make it easy for families. At 15 this lad is still a child who needs his family even though he may not show it.

This family needs some urgent help to talk through the issues and try to find a more positive way forward. Relate offer very good family counselling and will work with mum, stepfather, young person or whole family, as required. They would probably offer a quick initial assessment appointment under the circumstances if they have the capacity.

meritaten

But, the child isnt 16! he is 15! surely there is still a law about parental care?

mikey72

meritaten wrote: »

But, the child isnt 16! he is 15! surely there is still a law about parental care?

You could phone the police and ask if it's an offense to have a sleepover against your will.

aliasojo

I realise that meriten but I was replying to Jo-Jo's comment about him being cared for, for the next four years.

Fang_3

mikey72 wrote: »

You could phone the police and ask if it's an offense to have a sleepover against your will.

Don't sugarcoat it to make your own position seem more reasonable.

wannabe_sybil

Just a point

Normal people do snap and then try and absolve themselves, that is human.

But I believe it is almost a classic sign of abuse - I am acting in a nasty way because you made me do it. I am hitting you because you made me lose my temper because [insert excuse]. I call you vile names because you made me do it because [insert excuse]. I am throwing your child out into the streets because [insert excuse].

Is this the sort of thing the husband of the OP said?

It's all about control. If the phrase fits then you need to really consider the way that your relationship works.

Mikey - I am not in favour of abandoning a relationship easily, but a child should be able to rely on their mother and if that is at the cost of the relationship then I think then that is so. However with counselling it may be possible to work things out, I just don't think you should underestimate the problem here. The husband does not sound like he will allow the child back.

I hope all works out.

LilacLouisa

I hope things are on their way to being sorted this morning, but imo if you don`t bring your son home it is unlikely you will ever forgive yourself.

CheeseCat

From a slightly different point of view but one I am sure others have expressed, my OH was thrown out of home when he was not much older than the OPs son, because he didnt get on with his mums partner and it went that far to have him kicked out.

He got in touch with his dad who took him in and he then ended up in youth hostels etc until he got his own place.

The short of it is that he has never really forgiven his mother. She tries to have a good relationship with him now (and I try to encourage him to go see her, etc) but he will never ever forget that in the end she chose her partner over him and did that to him.

Something to bear in mind, OP.

blabberwort

Something doesnt seem right, I think theres more to the story than the OP is letting on. On a slightly different point I have to say that I get really annoyed when people say children come as a package with a single parent. Partner takes the children on and treats them like their own yet in a situation like this 10 years after taaking the child on as his own the step father is suddenly NOT allowed to treat the SS as he would his own son. People really need to make their mind up what it is. Single parent and child/children come as a package or dont? Shouldnt be allowed to pick and choose when this suits except when it's at the start of a relationship, but 10 years fgs and the man is good enough to pay towards the childs upkeep, be there when the child needs it, love and care for the child but hit a sticky point and the boy is nothing to do with the son as he's not biologically his. Seriously... I dont get it.

Im not suggesting the mans reaction is right, just that him not being his biological father 10 years after accepting him as a part of the family should really not be an issue.

hudilin

You just need to sit and communicate with your hubby reasonably