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Worst Day ever!
Comments
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LilacLouisa wrote: »No wonder so many children come to grief when people put their partner above their children.
The best thing you can do for your children is to have a secure relationship with your partner.0 -
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Oldernotwiser wrote: »A father has an equal right to the custody of a child in the event of relationship breakdown.
I didn't say a Father didn't, of course he does, but that's not what I am talking about!
I asked if you would be OK if your husband threatened to take one of your children away from you.Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...0 -
That'll be where we will always differ.
To you it will always be "your" children.
To me and my wife, they'll always be "our" children.0 -
So many assumptions and so many opinions based on assumptions so I may as well join in. As we dont actually know what the true circumstances are then I will assume that the son has been out of control for some time and the father has snapped. He's had enough after trying to talk to him etc and the only option at that moment in time was to kick the son out.
With regards to saying he will take his daughter and leave no one seems to have considered that without any real info no-one knows what this behavour was of the childs. Maybe just maybe the child was the bully and controller. Maybe just maybe the father feels he cant do much legally about the other step child but he can take his daughter out of a situation that he feels could potentially be harmful to her should the step son come back.
The fact is that there are far to many maybes for people to assume anything. Without the OP's input no-one can really advise her on what to do for the best. We can only go on her previous posts. The one thing I did note however was the OP sated that her husband had tried to help/talk to the son to no avail and that this situation has been going on for some time. Doesnt sound much like a man who is a controller or bully to me. It sounds like a man at the end of his tether after a lot of problems that he has not been able to solve by other means.0 -
This probably sums up the feeling of the most biased posters on here.
The op has said they have been a couple for 10 years, and own their house together. They have a daughter between them.
The dad has quite rightly said if they split he will fight for custardy of the child, as any normal caring parent would.
You have now described the poor kid as sole property of the op because she is the mother, and that not walking away from his child is a bad thing, and indeed it is even worse that the father should to love her and want to be with her.
Hopefully the op has it all sorted by now, and every one is back together as a mother and father.
The step father hasn't said that at all. He has said that if the son returns home then he will take the daughter and leave. Once again you're sugarcoating the truth to make your position seem reasonable.0 -
What would have happened if he went outside and found a suitcase full of money, and kept it all for himself.
He'd have the last laugh then.
The fact he was sent to a friends suggested the op had checked where he was going before he went doesn't it?
This is very telling. You think that a suitcase full of money would make up for a loving family. That's quite sad, whichever way you try and spin it.0 -
It's an interesting point of view.
Is it?Any man should never expect to become an integral part of a family unit, and should always be treated as mum's boyfriend, and never expect to take over as a father figure, regardless of how long he's been there?
He shouldn't expect to be put before any children. That's what a good parent does, put their needs second to the needs of the child. Likewise for a step-mother. You seem to be trying to make out that I'm man-bashing. My penis says otherwise.The first clash over children would be expected to result in another breakup, if mum's boyfriend didn't back down.
If the step-parent didn't back down in a situation like this then the family would be better off without them.An opposite view, but you won't agree, is that some men would expect to behave as a father, and not walk away every time any difficulty arose.
Men that expect to behave as a father without earning that right shouldn't be allowed near children that they haven't biologically contributed to.Possibly after living with, and bringing up the child for ten years as his own, he thinks he may be entitled to some input by now. Maybe not though.
He can think all he likes, but he's not at liberty to presume that he should have any say over his step-son while simultaneously throwing away the responsibilities that a parent should have. He can't have it both ways.0 -
Oldernotwiser wrote: »A father has an equal right to the custody of a child in the event of relationship breakdown.
A parent has the responsibility of keeping their child safe. If a father tries to force a mother to choose between her children, then he is clearly not a safe person to be around a child.0 -
Oldernotwiser wrote: »The best thing you can do for your children is to have a secure relationship with your partner.
Not if that partner is controlling, abusive and has put your child in danger.0
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