Secret Debt - Telling My Partner

wishicouldsave

Just wanted to say well done to you!

x

Tete_en_l'Air

Hi Sarah, just saw this thread now - so glad you've gone through with it and told him, you must feel miles better! Look forward to seeing you around the boards, you'll soon be addicted to this MoneySaving lark! x

GEEGEE8

Very well done xxxx

sarahdebtbuster

Well, as the OP I thought I better add my opinion. I wasn't offended by your comment, but people do make mistakes, and forgiveness is part of marriage although that might take time. Until you have been in the position I was in you will never know what it was like. It's an awful, lonely, and miserable existence knowing that you are lying to the person you love, and I do love him unconditionally. There is no question of that.

It can be difficult for people to understand who haven't been there, who might think people who get into debt are heartless morons, but it happens to intelligent, lovely people, many of whom have helped me this weekend.

If I could go back and change things I would, but I can't. I have however faced up to my mistakes and plan to right the wrongs both financially and emotionally. It is a place I will never go back to that's for sure.

elvis86

sarahdebtbuster wrote: »

Well, as the OP I thought I better add my opinion. I wasn't offended by your comment, but people do make mistakes, and forgiveness is part of marriage although that might take time. Until you have been in the position I was in you will never know what it was like. It's an awful, lonely, and miserable existence knowing that you are lying to the person you love, and I do love him unconditionally. There is no question of that.

It can be difficult for people to understand who haven't been there, who might think people who get into debt are heartless morons, but it happens to intelligent, lovely people, many of whom have helped me this weekend.

If I could go back and change things I would, but I can't. I have however faced up to my mistakes and plan to right the wrongs both financially and emotionally. It is a place I will never go back to that's for sure.

And I hope you appreciate that I never once levelled any kind of attack at you. Nor did I seek to trivialise the predicament in which you found yourself. Your post merely caused me to ponder how I might react in such a situation.

Whether the fact that I fear I would end the relationship is a sign of weakness in me or makes me an awful person, is open to interpretation.

fozmcfc

Was following this thread the other day, but with England's dreadful performance I must admit I forgot, but you were indeed very brave confessing to your OH considering the performance.

So glad you did though and that you know you can work through it. Owing up to someone the debt you're in is very hard to do. I had to do it with my mum once and I was embarrassed because it was my own doing and I was old enough to know better.

I didn't learn my lesson fully, but finally have now since Jan 09 faced up to the debt I was in. Gradually working to a debt free life and I know you will do too.

Congraulations and good luck.

sarahdebtbuster

elvis86 wrote: »

And I hope you appreciate that I never once levelled any kind of attack at you. Nor did I seek to trivialise the predicament in which you found yourself. Your post merely caused me to ponder how I might react in such a situation.

Whether the fact that I fear I would end the relationship is a sign of weakness in me or makes me an awful person, is open to interpretation.

Absolutely. You were just stating your opinion. No problem.

Fitzer2000

Hi Sarah, just read through your thread with admiration. I think you're very brave and I'm really pleased that your OH is supporting you. Things will be difficult for a while but I'm sure the relief you felt overwhelmed you and now such a weight has been lifted! From my experience you'll feel a sense of guilt for a while but the strength of your relationship with your OH will grow stronger. Well done and thanks for posting.

louisecat

Hello Sarah, didn't want to rack up the pageviews without leaving a comment and just thought I'd say congratulations on coming out with it and I'm glad that your husband is supporting you through it! I had to tell my boyfriend (now fiance!) about my debts a while ago and while he was a bit shocked at the amount, he was very supportive and made sure that we both know exactly where our money is going so things are much easier now!

FraudBuster

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2541497