Secret Debt - Telling My Partner

Woowoo

Hi Sarah

Well done, I understand how hard it is to come clean with your partner and knowing that your situation has an impact on future plans, you have been very brave and have absolutely done the right thing.

I read this thread in tears at how supportive everyone can be for complete strangers, and then I read Property Adverts post which made my blood boil I can't even comprehend why someone would be so insensitive.

Good luck for the future xx

Sally_A

Well done Sarah! :T:T:T

If your OH read your initial posts on here before you told him; I could feel your anguish, and I'm sure he would too.

I don't normally pop over to this part of the forum or post in it but your early posts that I stumbled upon were so heartfelt, I had to come back to see how it went.

You must feel like a great weight has been lifted.

Good luck for the future and in buying a house.

xxx

toile

Hi Sarah

Well done you, you did it and yes you will have to cope with feeling ashamed and regaining his trust, but that will come. Carry on with the positivity and show that you are tackling your debt.

You have made the first massive step towards a new you.

Don't you feel younger,lighter,stronger?? its a great feeling and i, likeyou would urge anyone reading this to tell their dh/partner/parents. Not because of any expectation that they willpay your debt, but just to get it out in the open.

So well done sarah, and good luck.

Take care

toile

Woowoo

3dogs I have also reported x

and_breathe

Well done!
I'm glad you're feeling better now.
:T

Butti

Woowoo wrote: »

3dogs I have also reported x

and me!

Butti

Luckystepho

Well done- I bet you feel so much better now that it is in the open and you don't have to try to hide it any more. I can totally understand you wanting to tell your mum, me and my mum are very close and she has been incredibly supportive.

Now that you have both your mum and husband's support I bet you will soon start to clear the debt!

moominmama72

Hi Sarah
So glad that you went through with it.
Yes it does feel horrid at first but at least now its out in the open you can work towards a solution together. Its not about getting some body else to pay your debts, its about being able to talk them through with some one, not keeping it all to yourself.

JohnD76

sarahdebtbuster wrote: »

It was actually my husband who wanted me to be straight with my mum so I am not telling tales as you put it. My mum has had to deal with debt problems with my dad and so would want to know if I was having problems. She has been there, done that. Also, I am not asking for his help at all to get me out of "this mess", but simply deciding to be straight with him so that we can now make decisions with each other. I am responsible for my debts and I will pay them off. Never in any of my posts have I said that I expect any financial help.

You've kind of annoyed me actually. You shouldn't just assume things without knowing the facts. The facts being that I have made mistakes and want those who are close to me to know the truth so that I can deal with those mistakes and get my finances back on track.

Hi Sarah,

Well done hun :-) I bet it was difficult but I can only imagine how relieved you feel now.

When I was growing up my folks weren't very wise with money and I personally think this attributed to me running up £40K on cards when I was young and foolish; since this is what my folks did, I assumed it was the norm. My wife showed me that this was just plain stupid and we now only have a single card that is cleared in full every month.

Don't worry about people posting stupid comments, this is the internet after all, you have to take everything with a pinch of salt, best thing is to ignore them. It sounds like he has his own issues to come to terms with and the biggest one looks like pride from the post.

You tell whoever you need to or want to Sarah.

All the best and most of all, well done,

John.

sarahdebtbuster

Thank you everyone! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your advice, support and messages. It has been really tough and my OH is still angry (understandably) ,but also supportive and is going to make sure I pay this off as quickly as possible. I really did need that LBM to get me out of this. I showed my OH all the messages yesterday and I think it opened his eyes a bit as to how many of us there are with debt problems.

It's going to be a tough couple of years, but I will get there. Have had so much inspiration reading your messages and I only wish I had done it sooner. And the best thing is I can now offer advice if ever anybody else is in the same boat. I just need to get rid of the feelings of guilt and shame now, but that will come in time.

Oh and I told my mum yesterday! She was great and gave me lots of support. So put that in your pipe and smoke it property advert! :rotfl:

Here's to a couple of tough years paying this off and then financial freedom!

Now, onto the DFW threads for lots of money saving ideas! Oh and doing my sig so that I can see those nasty numbers going down.

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