Oh no!!!!!!

Kay_Peel

Britwife wrote: »

Kay Peel, all you would have to do is ask to be moved if there were any other seats available or make a comment at customer service.

You mean make a fuss? You mean draw attention to my obese fellow travellers? That's the trouble - I'd rather put up with the situation.

No, my problem was solved by my own action: blocking off the seat that I'd paid for by moving the armrest and preventing the young woman from sitting on me.

It didn't solve their problem - and that was something that they ought to have have thought about when they booked their flight.

Triggles

Yes i ranted on here an anonymous forum as i was worried and upset that the first time i have a brand new pieces of furniture in my house that i saved for for two years were potentially going to be ruined because i am too nice to say to their faces please don't sit on my new sofas you are too heavy.

Hmmmm...... let's review.....

DH's family are coming over on sunday and they are all on the cough cough large side.
And when i say large i mean large.
The two sisters are around 25 and 28 stones respectively and his brother is 20 stones.

Oh believe me nene it has been a source of much hilarity here but the problem is very real!!!!!!

loving all the suggestions unfortunately sitting in the garden is out as they have a 'sweating problem' when hot !!!!!!

Eating time you mean!!!!!!

oh mutter honestly they are minging, i know that sounds like an awful thing to say but they smell and look dreadful.
MIL told me years ago the eldest was too frightened to get in the bath in case it went through the floor so i can't imagine she has bathed since

And another thing i hate seeing them eat it makes me feel ill truly.
They shovel the food down and as they struggle with breathing due to their size they grunt as they eat

I'm not ungracious to their faces

They are the way they are because they eat too much and they are lazy no two ways about it.

I feel i have done my bit as far as they are concerned and now we as a family have to sit back and watch them eat themselves to death.

well to be honest cleanliness has never been next to godliness for this family never has been, the last time we visited i ended up cleaning the kitchen before i could bear to cook any food for the kids in it.

Don't worry about being "too nice" to say things... obviously not an issue for you....

I never once said i had contempt for my in-laws or their weight

*snort* not in so many words, of course..... but let's be honest... you certainly demonstrate a huge amount of contempt for them.....

how sad....

pukkamum

I have never once denied anything i have said and yes i am too nice to say it to their faces i'm sure there are many things people think of many of us that we would not like to hear.
What would ever be the point in telling them things i am pretty sure they know already.
Nothing i have said is untrue.
Is there no-one in life you dislike?
If so do you tell everyone to their faces exactly what you think of them?
As said before let who is without sin cast the first stone.

mrcow

pukkamum wrote: »

I have never once denied anything i have said and yes i am too nice to say it to their faces

So slagging someone off behind their back but not saying anything to their face makes you "nice" you think? Normally it would just make you two-faced. Nothing "nice" about it at all in fact.

pukkamum

mrcow wrote: »

So slagging someone off behind their back but not saying anything to their face makes you "nice" you think? Normally it would just make you two-faced. Nothing "nice" about it at all in fact.

So you have never thought or said something about someone but not said it to their face?
Well it must be very nice to be perfect.
Are you suggesting i say these things to them to what end?
To achieve what exactly?
I am nice to them because they are part of my family and i'm not going to deny them a relationship with my children because of my feelings about them.

mrcow

pukkamum wrote: »

So you have never thought or said something about someone but not said it to their face?.

If I have, I've never tried to convince others that it makes me a "Nice" person. And no, since you ask, as an individual I'm not a hypocrite.

pukkamum wrote: »

Are you suggesting i say these things to them to what end?
To achieve what exactly?

I'm not suggesting that you say anything to them. But at least cut the cr ap about you being "too nice" a person to say anything. It's getting annoying. Being duplicitous is not and never has been a nice personality trait. Be honest with yourself and reread your posts, them are painting a picture of you that is far from "nice".

Stop to think as well......you were fat once, you can certainly get fat again (if you think otherwise then you're fooling yourself). I sincerely hope that if that happens that others aren't so ungracious to you behind your back, sniggering and making jokes about you troughing your food or how much you must sweat.

Again, the fact that you were once so fat yourself but can now point the finger of ridicule at others isn't really portraying you as the "nice" person you keep trying to convince us you are.

Sorry if the truth hurts.

pukkamum

I am pretty sure i was ridiculed when fat, i certainly got plenty of ribbing from my own family.
Surely if i said those things to their face that would make me ...well not a very nice person.
Surely part of being 'nice' is trying to not hurt peoples feelings.
To imagine that we go through life without being ridiculed about something about ourselves at some point is rather naive.

mrcow

pukkamum wrote: »

I am pretty sure i was ridiculed when fat, i certainly got plenty of ribbing from my own family.
Surely if i said those things to their face that would make me ...well not a very nice person.
Surely part of being 'nice' is trying to not hurt peoples feelings.
To imagine that we go through life without being ridiculed about something about ourselves at some point is rather naive.

If you were "nice", you wouldn't be saying such horrid things about them in the first place. You could have continued this thread without all the nasty comments or snide remarks.

If you can't see the difference, then sorry, I don't know how to put it more simply.

You are NOT being a nice person.

Surely part of being 'nice' is trying to not hurt peoples feelings.

Sure that's "part" of being nice. But in turn it doesn't make you nice if given then first opportunity you turn on someone behind their back.

I am pretty sure i was ridiculed when fat, i certainly got plenty of ribbing from my own family.

So perhaps you feel that as you were yourself such a target of ridicule that it makes it okay for you to do it to others? What about if/when you do get fat again and one of them maybe lost some weight would it then be acceptable for your SIL/MIL to call you sweaty/lazy and laugh behind your back then? The fact that they were doing it behind your back, would that then make them nice people do you think?

louisemarie

[QUOTE=pukkamum;33763515i_did_suggest_this_to_DH_but_after_phoning_the_council_they_said_they_would_only_be_able_to_pick_up_at_lunch_that_day_and_if_not_it_would_be_another_week,__hmm

The sofas arrived at 8.00am and we phoned the council at ten, You are very very lucky then. If we want an item removed we have to contact the council in advance as they operate a strict booking system. They also require payment in advance. You clearly have a great council.

I stated that i knew for a fact that the reason my relatives were obese was because of their overeating and inactivity. So, why are you judge and jury. Their obesity isn't catching as you clearly know.
I did not once state that all obese people were sweaty and smelly i said my in-laws are. Like I said before you are a real charmer. WHY bother with these people at all? You clearly despise them with an intensity bordering on hatred. Yes I know you say you "make an effort" as they are family. Why do you?


They do eat loudly and they do shovel their food in .See above

I have never been anything but lovely to them You must be quite an actress then.when they come i make food, i chat with them, i do everything i can to make them feel welcome.Umm

They in return when we go to visit them more often than not will make arrangements to go out. maybe you are not the next Kate Winslett then-even though the smelly, grunting fatties are worthy of your contempt maybe just maybe they have picked up your distaste.
Will make themselves food and leave us to fend for ourselves. see above
They show no interest in their nieces and nephews lives they barely even acknowledge them. Again, why should they?

But of course i'm not allowed to say this because they are overweight. Say what you want-oh yes you have.

P.s striped wellies problems such as 'can you put a cat flap in a sliding door' which are clearly much more important Striped Wellies probably loves their cat which is clearly an emotion lacking with regard to your relations.


I make wedding dresses and am saddened and depressed by the heartache family relationships can cause. And yes, if there were family members that I felt the same way as you do about yours then I can honestly say hand on heart that they would not be in my life.
That is the honest truth- I don't care if you believe me or not but I am telling the truth. Life is far too short to intentionally bring unhappieness into it. What ever "romantic" notions of family life I had before I started my business I don't now. Family disputes/rows can be corrosive and the scars can last for ever.
Also do you honestly think your children won't pick up on your feelings? What lessons are they learning from you?
Family at any cost?? Why?
I agree with posters that have cut people from their lives. Honesty is a very underrated commodity I find.

Enjoy your lovely sofas.

pukkamum

We do have a very good council we live in a high area of fly tipping so therefore we get a free large item collection service.
Normally it does take a while as i stated if we hadn't taken that appointment (they were coming to our street anyway) we would have had to wait a week.

Why do i make an effort? Because as stated many many times i do so for my children and my DH i have lost too much family to make my kids lose theirs because of my feelings.

I do not care if they leave the house when we visit but i would have thought seeing their only neice and nephew would be reason enough to stay.
So you think they should not bother making an effort with two little ones?

I don't hate them i don't hate anyone, i hate their non-existent levels of hygiene, i hate their attitude towards my kids and my DH, i hate their eating habits all of which are NOTHING to do with their obesity.


I am actually a very good actress and i can assure you i have never ever been anything but lovely to them.


I will also ask you is there nobody in life you make or have made an effort with out of duty?

I do honestly know for a fact that the kids will not pick up on my feelings as i am always very very positive about the in-laws in front of them encouraging them to write to them, send pictures etc (to which they never recieve a reply)