Oh no!!!!!!

blabberwort

A few people seem to be missing the point about this thread. The reason people are commenting about the weight of the OP's inlaws is because the contributing factor to the question is because of their weight.

The deragotory tone I dont think is meant for ALL large people, but for the inlaws themselves. Fact is the OP says they are unclean, they are far to overweight (would you choose to have these people sit on your brand new furniture you have worked hard to pay for knowing there is a real possibilty they could break it, and even worse not care? ) and choose to do nothing about it, they are using their brother as a stopgap before shopping, they appear to be not bothered about their brother or his family any other time unless they want something. Now please tell me how anything nice can be said of these people?

The OP has already explained that she puts up with them and isnt rude to them because of her children which I think is fair enough.

As I said I dont think people are saying all larger people are unclean or unsightly etc, just the OP's inlaws because that is the information given to us. As this is a forum and it's unlikely we ever hear both sides of a story albeit this thread or any other, you have to accept info at face value.

I'd be the last one to say all large people are unhealthy, smelly etc as a lot of my family are big. Not morbidly obese on the whoe (bar a couple) but certainly larger than ideal weight. They are not smelly/horrible etC.

I have met many small people in my lifetime who are unclean and unhealthy. Being fat isnt the issue it's the individuals themselves and this bunch of inlaws sound horrendous.

itsallinthemind

What-are they like size 10's and the guys 32 waists? Yeouwch how gross!

SnowyOwl_2

blabberwort wrote: »

I have met many small people in my lifetime who are unclean and unhealthy. Being fat isnt the issue it's the individuals themselves and this bunch of inlaws sound horrendous.

Perhaps the truth of the matter is that both sides of the family deserve each other. The OP may well have made some devious excuse to prevent her in-laws from sitting on her precious sofas this time. But what is she going to do every time these people want to visit in the future? She may as well bite the bullet and tell them that they are not welcome now nor ever again and the problem will be solved forever.

bonty44

OP, please let us know what happened!!!

stripedwellies

Am I the only one to see utter hypocrisy here?
The sofas arrived early Friday morning. Sometime before 09:28 in fact but still enough time for the OP to have a good old giggle with the OH about the impending arrival of obese relatives AND post on here about a problem that is worrying her immensely but not enough to prevent her old sofas from being collected until after the weekend.

09:28

Well TODAY my new very expensive sofas arrived

09:45

I did suggest to DH that we bring in the old sofas and hide the new ones in the garden, they live down south and they only come up every so often.
He thinks i am joking.

10:30

I am def gong to suggest to DH the plywood as unfortunatley the old sofas are being picked up today by the council.

Don't most people wait for delivery before making arrangements for stuff to be collected? What if there'd been a problem with the delivery? Then nobody would have been able to sit anywhere. So are we to take it that the arrangement was made between 09:45 and 10:30?

Whatever, it seems to me that the OP wasn't as seriously concerned as she made out but felt the need to extend her splutter splutter joke to her virtual community.

pukkamum

Striped wellies think you will find that i did suggest this to DH but after phoning the council they said they would only be able to pick up at lunch that day and if not it would be another week, as we have only a small garden we had to accept this.

The sofas arrived at 8.00am and we phoned the council at ten, DH really didn't think i was serious about putting the new sofas outside anyway as we don't live in the most secure of areas.

As regards to the posters suggesting that i hate all overweight people and mock them all i will will ask where on my thread i stated this.

I stated that i knew for a fact that the reason my relatives were obese was because of their overeating and inactivity.
I did not once state that all obese people were sweaty and smelly i said my in-laws are.

I would have a problem with them if they were a size ten but didn't wash.

They do eat loudly and they do shovel their food in once again i never said all obese people did.
As i stated before i was classed obese for a long time and i always washed kept myself clean and tidy and didn't feel the need to shovel food in my mouth and grunt whilst doing it.

I have never been anything but lovely to them when they come i make food, i chat with them, i do everything i can to make them feel welcome.

They in return when we go to visit them more often than not will make arrangements to go out.
Will make themselves food and leave us to fend for ourselves.
They show no interest in their nieces and nephews lives they barely even acknowledge them.

But of course i'm not allowed to say this because they are overweight.

P.s striped wellies yes i do feel it was a problem worth posting on a moneysaving forum as potentially £1200's worth of brand new sofas were at sake, as opposed to problems such as 'can you put a cat flap in a sliding door' which are clearly much more important.

pukkamum

P.s they didn't come in the end as mil was ill.
I was very sad about this because despite my feelings my children were very much looking forward to seeing them and were upset about them not coming, mainly because they have not seen them for nearly a year.

stripedwellies

pukkamum wrote: »

as opposed to problems such as 'can you put a cat flap in a sliding door' which are clearly much more important.

This sort of comment ties quite neatly with the picture I've formed of you from your first post.
I could have a field day with a few of your posts

esmerelda98

pukkamum wrote: »

P.s they didn't come in the end as mil was ill.
I was very sad about this because despite my feelings my children were very much looking forward to seeing them and were upset about them not coming

Yeah, right. I am sure an impartial observer would not damn their characters quite as much as you have done. There is truth in the old adage 'There are two sides to every story'. OP this is not directed at you, but to those who take your assessment of your relatives as the gospel truth.

I still maintain that fat, smelly people can be very loving and caring. Their fatness and smelliness does not negate everything good about them. Very overweight people can have difficulties in keeping clean. They are not very flexible and simply can't reach some parts of their bodies. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned Christian kindness and compassion?

Kay_Peel

I think the OP has brought up a very good topic. It has opened up a debate about how we deal with obese people in situations like these. I find it frustrating when people have no solution whatsoever but see the subject as an attack on fat people.

I wish we were more open and honest about this problem.

I was standing behind a morbidly obese young couple at the checking in desk of Manchester Airport. They were already shattered by having to stand up to queue for 30 minutes and looked uncomfortable. On the plane, I found myself sharing an aisle seat with them, although I had been allocated the window seat.

When they sat down, I found that I had lost half my seat and was crushed up against the side of the plane and too close for comfort to the young woman, so I put my arm-rest down in an effort to get back some personal space. They spent the entire journey taking turns to sit down while one stood in the aisle, wheezing and sweating, obstructing the passage of stewards and passengers. They glared at me for the full 5 hour journey as though their discomfort was due to my selfishness.

The simple fact is that plane seats are not built to accommodate tall or very fat people - they hardly accommodate a person of average build - and we all know that. But no airline is prepared to say something like: 'Those weighing more than ....... kilograms or with hip size of .......... centimetres may find it more comfortable to buy two seats'. Think what a back-lash of righteous indignation there would be - especially from the PC-brigade and those who view being overweight as a disability. Instead, we ignore the problem in case we offend.


The OP has been open and honest about her feelings and fears. We have discussed solutions, openly. I don't see why the OP should be criticised, censored or denigrated for that.