Oh no!!!!!!

pukkamum

esmerelda98 wrote: »

Yeah, right. I am sure an impartial observer would not damn their characters quite as much as you have done. There is truth in the old adage 'There are two sides to every story'. OP this is not directed at you, but to those who take your assessment of your relatives as the gospel truth.

I still maintain that fat, smelly people can be very loving and caring. Their fatness and smelliness does not negate everything good about them. Very overweight people can have difficulties in keeping clean. They are not very flexible and simply can't reach some parts of their bodies. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned Christian kindness and compassion?

I also agree that fat smelly people can be caring but these people aren't.
I also agree that it can be hard for overweight people to keep clean but surely clean clothes and faces and brushed hair are not really a problem.
Of course there are two sides to every story but this is my side and my view is that their attitude to my children and DH is very far from caring and loving and i do feel that with things that have happened in the past i would be totally justified in never seeing these people again, but they are my children's aunts and uncles and i see them for their sake as i am well aware of the importance of family.

Yes i ranted on here an anonymous forum as i was worried and upset that the first time i have a brand new pieces of furniture in my house that i saved for for two years were potentially going to be ruined because i am too nice to say to their faces please don't sit on my new sofas you are too heavy.

Bufger

i dont see it as being a prejudice, i feel its a genuine concern!

Dont worry about it pukkamum, there are a few here that are morally indestructable and we wouldnt ever be able to please them being the normal people we are

Penny-Pincher!!

pukkamum wrote: »

my view is that their attitude to my children and DH is very far from caring and loving and i do feel that with things that have happened in the past i would be totally justified in never seeing these people again, but they are my children's aunts and uncles and i see them for their sake as i am well aware of the importance of family.
.

If you are totally justified in never seeing them again...then dont!

We made the decision when DD was born 15yrs ago that certain members of both families would not be involved at all with our lives or daughters. They are not nice people, so why would I want my daughter associating with them when we choose not too??

Reading through your posts, I do feel that you are very negative towards obese people, especially when you were obese once yourself. Some of your comments have been very spiteful.

Obese people are NOT all smelly as I think they are more aware that they sweat more, so wash more.

This thread has really wound me up. If you dont want them round...dont have them round! Just because their family doesnt mean that you MUST have them round. Your home...your choice of visitors!

Also, if you only see them annually, how do you not know that they have lost weight?

Have you thought that maybe THEY dont want to visit you but feel that THEY have too as they are travelling near you?

PP

Bufger

i agree with seeing it from their point of view too, it could be that they dont enjoy coming round but feel like they must make the effort for family so its worth either matching that effort or calling it quits.

Plus its probably costing them a fortune in petrol. Not being mean (or not meaning to be) but with a combined weight of 70 stone in a car their MPG isnt going to be that great :A - always thinking of money.

Emmzi

with over a million members it is entirely possible your relayives have read this forum (how many large families would be planning to visit up by the Trafford Centre this weekend, seeing sommeone they hadn't visited for a year with the requisite neices/ nephews?)

Personally I would now take this opportunity to source some sturdy, stacking, armless chairs for when they visit, that will be easy for them to get in and out of. Nad let them know you have done it, and ask when they would like to come over and try them out.

Bufger

Emmzi wrote: »

with over a million members it is entirely possible your relayives have read this forum (how many large families would be planning to visit up by the Trafford Centre this weekend, seeing sommeone they hadn't visited for a year with the requisite neices/ nephews?)

Personally I would now take this opportunity to source some sturdy, stacking, armless chairs for when they visit, that will be easy for them to get in and out of. Nad let them know you have done it, and ask when they would like to come over and try them out.

But not probable. National figures for the population of the UK in 2008 show 61.4M people. 1M members of a forum make up over 1% of that (which is amazing for a forum but in the grand scale of things its quite small). Then factor in the fact that not all forum members read this part of the board and not all log in often enough to see and read every topic and your chances reduce by a large margin.

Also by getting special chairs for their visit and asking them to come round to try them out you would be positively discriminating which is just as harmful.

Apart from that it was a good accurate post

Emmzi

"Also by getting special chairs for their visit and asking them to come round to try them out you would be positively discriminating which is just as harmful."

In what way is it just as harmful? I think it depends how you do it.

"I have thought about your needs and invested some time and money in seeing if I can help make you more comfortable when you visit, because we want you here and the kids like you"

has got to be better than

"Porky, stay off my couch" doesn't it?

Or am I missing something? define "harmful."

Britwife

Kay Peel, all you would have to do is ask to be moved if there were any other seats available or make a comment at customer service.

I am flying out on Air France and then Delta and Air France has a weight/size policy that if your girth is bigger than so many cm's then you have to buy another seat. If the seat is vacant, you will get a refund. Most airlines have a passengers of size policy. Should be able to find it on the airlines website.

pukkamum

Penny-Pincher!! wrote: »

If you are totally justified in never seeing them again...then dont!

We made the decision when DD was born 15yrs ago that certain members of both families would not be involved at all with our lives or daughters. They are not nice people, so why would I want my daughter associating with them when we choose not too??

Reading through your posts, I do feel that you are very negative towards obese people, especially when you were obese once yourself. Some of your comments have been very spiteful.

Obese people are NOT all smelly as I think they are more aware that they sweat more, so wash more.

This thread has really wound me up. If you don't want them round...don't have them round! Just because their family doesn't mean that you MUST have them round. Your home...your choice of visitors!

Also, if you only see them annually, how do you not know that they have lost weight?

Have you thought that maybe THEY dont want to visit you but feel that THEY have too as they are travelling near you?

PP

I will reiterate i never once said all obese people were smelly and yes some of my comments were spiteful but not towards ALL obese people merely to my in-laws.
I know they haven't lost weight as i see pics of them on social networking sites.
Are you saying also that because i don't like them then i should cut them out of my children's lives?
Have you cut everybody that you have a problem with out of your life is there not one person in your life you tolerate for the sake of others?

I have to say to the non-judgemental people judging me on being judgmental 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone'

Gloomendoom

Bufger wrote: »

Also by getting special chairs for their visit and asking them to come round to try them out you would be positively discriminating which is just as harmful.

What a load of PC tosh. Getting special chairs for their visit shows consideration for their condition. You wouldn't buy them average sized clothes just so you weren't discriminating, would you?


This thread just gets better and better.