Child's Surname

Person_one

thatgirlsam wrote: »

i never assume.. it makes an a$$ out of u and me

i have the same name as my kids and i am a Miss, so no i don't assume

Yes you do!

You assume that "kids not having their mothers name means the father wasn't interested in marrying the mother "

thatgirlsam

Person_one wrote: »

Yes you do!

You assume that "kids not having their mothers name means the father wasn't interested in marrying the mother "

i did kinda say that tongue in cheek

pinkshoes

Thank you so much for all the input and complicated family name stories!! Has triggered lots off other questions we'll have to think about i.e. legal guardians, getting a will etc...

I think we're swaying towards his surname.

As much as I'm an independent female, I actually quite like tradition, and although I'll never be his "possession" if we married, I'd be happy to take his surname. Too many people fighting tradition and confusing everything! Taking your husband's surname isn't about possession; it's about showing the world you're a unit and together!

custardy

My son has his mothers surname
his mothers sirname is of Norwegian origin so is unusual compared to my boring one
so we went with that

Jo_R_2

pinkshoes wrote: »

Thank you so much for all the input and complicated family name stories!! Has triggered lots off other questions we'll have to think about i.e. legal guardians, getting a will etc...

I think we're swaying towards his surname.

As much as I'm an independent female, I actually quite like tradition, and although I'll never be his "possession" if we married, I'd be happy to take his surname. Too many people fighting tradition and confusing everything! Taking your husband's surname isn't about possession; it's about showing the world you're a unit and together!

So on that principle, why not him take your name and give the kids your surname?

I think the 'fighting tradition' thought opens up a whole can of worms but that's just me - there's a whole lot of traditions I'm happy to break or happy that have been broken:)

angelicmary85

thatgirlsam wrote: »

my brothers partner is always being called mrs 'his name' and she gets fed up of saying actually its miss 'her name' so she just answers to his name , not so bad when you live together and have kids

I do that as well. Only the other day I got a phone call about a delievery and I was called Mrs *His Surname* but when I signed for the delivery, I signed it Miss *My Surname*...the delivery driver then checked that I'd signed and printed, called me Mrs *His Surname* and left!

Both of my/our kids have their daddy's surname. I got told off about this by a work collegue who said I should have given them my surname so the school didn't get confused! :rotfl:

Person_one

pinkshoes wrote: »

Thank you so much for all the input and complicated family name stories!! Has triggered lots off other questions we'll have to think about i.e. legal guardians, getting a will etc...

I think we're swaying towards his surname.

As much as I'm an independent female, I actually quite like tradition, and although I'll never be his "possession" if we married, I'd be happy to take his surname. Too many people fighting tradition and confusing everything! Taking your husband's surname isn't about possession; it's about showing the world you're a unit and together!

I agree with Jo_R. I won't be convinced its just about being a unit until the day that equal numbers of men and women change their name on marriage. If what you say is true shouldn't it work out about 50/50?

Its about men being seen as more important and valuable than women therefore they don't have to make the sacrifice of their identity. And yes it is a hangover from the time when women were property, the name was a stamp of ownership.

Its hard for women to stand up for their name and buck tradition because there's the stereotype that only feminazi, hairy legged, pains in the *ss do. There's still such a strong desire to please men engrained in women's psyche from childhood that we don't want them to think we're too much hard work or too feisty and unmanageable!

tabskitten

I'm obviously too old fashioned as I think that marriage should come before children....

brighthair

I won't change my surname if I marry. I am the last one by my surname in my family, and I'd like to keep hold of it

scottishblondie

I think I'd also keep my name if I get married, it's very unusual and unforgettable, and there aren't very many of us around As for the kids thing, if I was married at the time they'd get their Dad's name, unmarried I'd give them mine. If I then went on to marry the father I would change their names.