Child's Surname

hermanmunster_3

1 Get Married
2 If not getting married then DO NOT double barrel the name ..... these days an immediate indicator of unmarried parents.. really confusing knowing what to call the mother .. I usually go for Mrs then first part of the convoluted surname ... mind you I do the same for the Dads too..:D

Cat1

My eldest has a different father to my youngest two. All my children have my surname. Me eldest originally had a double barrelled surname (I hated it but it was a compromise).... I changed it by statutory deed a few weeks after his father ran off with another woman, never to be seen again!

I refuse to have a different surname to my babies - it wouldn't feel right!! Luckily my OH understands this. The problem we have now is that if we do get married, the two youngest would need to be re-registered and my eldest would have to have his name changed again. Messy

Kavanne

hermanmunster wrote: »

2 If not getting married then DO NOT double barrel the name ..... these days an immediate indicator of unmarried parents.. really confusing knowing what to call the mother .. I usually go for Mrs then first part of the convoluted surname ... mind you I do the same for the Dads too..:D

I resent this and have never heard of that before.

I'm getting married in Aug. Children not following for at least 3 years, but I am not changing my name (his surname is super boring) so our kids are going to be double barrelled.

pigpen

If the baby has your surname and the fathers name is on the birth certificate IF you get married in the fture it is a simple 5 minutes to change the baby's name to dads along with yours.. if you don't get married you don't have to spend baby's entire life being called Mrs 'Fathersname' in error and correcting everyone.

WillowMuse

I Think its up to you, Many people will try and give you their advice but it is you and your partners choice at the end of the day:D

My sister did gave her daughter her surname, split with partner and now is married to someone else, daughter still has her maiden name, doesnt bother her.
I however gave both of my children their fathers name, we were together 12yrs befor tying the knot 6yrs ago:D
Only you can know whats best for you at the end of the day, Congrats on the pregnancy though:)

Kaleidoscope27

I had a friend in high school and her parents weren't married. They lived together but didn't want to get married (fair enough.) My friend legally had her mum's surname, but used her dad's for everything but her sister legally had her dad's. It was confusing.

I don't have kids and don't plan on having any for at least another 7 - 8 years, but I'd give them my surname if I wasn't married, in case I split up with the father. But I may change my mind if I was in that situation.

Apricot

My parents weren't married when I was born but I was given my dad's surname. My parents split up when I was a year old and when I was 5 my mum had another baby (different dad) - at that time she knew we would be in school together so wanted us to have the same surname so my name was changed to my mums and my sister was given my mums surname from birth.

If I wasn't married when I had my child I would give them my surname - I would probably keep my surname if I got married anyway. I think it makes a lot more sense for a child to have their mothers surname as it is the mother who usually deals with doctors appointments, parents evenings etc. and I imagine it would feel a bit strange to be called "Mrs so and so" and then have to correct the person and say "actually it's Miss something else".

BeenieCat

My sister has two kids, both from 2 diff relationships and she's never been married.

So she has herself, Kathy Jones*

DD - Sarah Roberts

DS - Jonny Jones-Smith

*names changed to protect the innocent

All very confusing though...

I personally am not keen on the whole double barrelled name thing, it should be one or the other...And what happens when Jonny Jones-Smith grows up and has a relationship with Maggie Thornton-Brown?? They have a kid and call it Jonny Jones-Smith-Thornton-Brown Jnr??! lol!

Person_one

hermanmunster wrote: »

1 Get Married
2 If not getting married then DO NOT double barrel the name ..... these days an immediate indicator of unmarried parents.. really confusing knowing what to call the mother .. I usually go for Mrs then first part of the convoluted surname ... mind you I do the same for the Dads too..:D

First of all, why does an indicator of unmarried parents matter? Would it make you treat or view the child or parents any differently?

Secondly, if you don't know what to call someone, just ask! Don't expect them to make huge changes just to make life a wee bit easier for people like you. You're making assumptions with 'Mrs' as it is. I'm a Ms and I always will be regardless of my marital status.

Person_one

BeenieCat wrote: »

And what happens when Jonny Jones-Smith grows up and has a relationship with Maggie Thornton-Brown?? They have a kid and call it Jonny Jones-Smith-Thornton-Brown Jnr??! lol!

I've thought about this too, and the way I see it is that when/if that person comes to get married they'll be (hopefully) an intelligent adult and able to come up with something themselves. They could keep both and hyphenate all 4, or they could pick one each that sounds best together, or they can come up with something entirely new, maybe using some of the same letters and syllables, whatever they want.

I wouldn't be offended if a child of mine chose as an adult to keep only the part of their surname that had come from their father if they liked it better (they probably would, like I said, ugly frumpy name!) as those names would have belonged to that child all their life, hence would be theirs, their identity, their decision, entirely up to them.