Child's Surname

Slinky

Going off on a slight tangent, one of the questions that's often asked on websites for setting up security questions is 'mother's maiden surname'

Does 'the computer say no' when it gets the same name as the applicant's own?

chelle230

this was the choice I had to make when my DS was born. but I decided I didn't want him having a different name to me. I gave him my surname, but me and OH married when he was 10 months. we went to the regisrty office and re-registered him in our married name, no problems at all, free of charge, but think it has to be done within 12 months, or then it's deed-poll

ethelsmum

My two children have my partners surname - we are not married and I doubt we will get married anytime soon, although we have been together 11 years and are in a stable, committed relationship.

Tigsteroonie

We gave Andrew his father's surname. I'm already on the third surname in my life, and hopefully taking the father's surname in the future There's no way I'd have given Andrew my current surname (ie my Ex's name), so I'd have had to revert to my maiden name.

I spent my childhood with a different surname to my mum & stepdad (kept my bio father's name), so I'm used to handling confusion.

SarahNeedle1872

I wouldn't worry about what your friends and family say, what do you want to do? Its between you and his Dad, no one else

FWIW my DS has his Father's surname.... my surname is currently my married (and since divorced) name, so he wasn't going to have that! Plus I wanted him to have his Dad's name anyway... if we hadn't have been together, I would have made sure my name was changed back to my maiden name, and DS would have had that.

Sx

Person_one

JC9297 wrote: »

My sons, aged 17 and 13, have my partner of 22 years' surname. To me giving a child the mother's surname suggests the father was not around when the child was born or was not considered a permanent fixture in the mother and child's lives. All of the other families I know in our situation i.e. long term relationship but not married, the children have dad's name. I also have friends who are married, the wife has kept her name and the kids have their dad's surname. I don't know anyone where the dad is around but the children have mum's surname.

I do.

This doesn't really make sense, do you assume if the children have the father's name and the mother's is different that she is not a permanent fixture?

Why is the father's name seen as so much more important, higher status and 'normal' than the mother's? They've both had their surname since birth, its a huge part of their identity for both of them.

Person_one

pimento wrote: »

Pity the genealogists of the future.

They'll cope! Its a pretty weak argument for upholding patriarchal traditions anyway!

fernliebee

I think it is more common for the baby to have their fathers name, however this was the main reason I wanted to be married before I had my DD. I would have given baby my name as I couldn't bear to have a different name from my child, it is something I feel really strongly about, but so does DH. I also said I would never change my name when married but this was the sole reason I changed my mind and took DH name.

My mum called us her name as she wanted us all to share a name, and has never been a problem for us. Could you just use yours/ your OH's name as a middle name, so not double barrelled but inc on the birth cert.

Mojisola

Slinky wrote: »

Going off on a slight tangent, one of the questions that's often asked on websites for setting up security questions is 'mother's maiden surname'

Does 'the computer say no' when it gets the same name as the applicant's own?

You should never use your mother's maiden name in answer to this question. Choose - and remember - another name and always use that. It's too easy for other people to find out your real mother's maiden name.

As for the OP's question - I don't think there is a norm any more. Decide what suits you. Names can always be changed in the future by deed poll if you change your mind.

Jo_R_2

A favourite topic of discussion for me this one!

I have two DDs by my ex and a DS and another on the way with OH. I have never been married.

My DDs have two surnames; not double barrelled, just my surname then my ex's surname. So one of their names reads (example) Daisy Smith Jones, with both last names going in the 'surname' box on their birth certificate.

My DS has a similar name, but obviously with my OH's surname. So his reads (again example!) Bob Smith Brown. I was determined with DS that after the shenanigans with my ex that DS would have only my surname, possibly to be reviewed if we got married. OH v. upset about this, me intent until we got to the register office and spent most of the time disagreeing over what his surname would be as he didn't like the idea of DS having both our surnames.

We compromised with doing the two surname thing which means all the children have my surname as is the plan for this little one due later on in the year.

My personal feeling is that I wouldn't give my child just the father's surname, being not married that is a definite for me.

And don't get me started on changing names for getting married - me and OH have already had some mahoosive barneys over that one, I like my name fine thank you very much!