Child's Surname

mpet

There's mention in these posts of the tradition of naming a child after it's father - that's a very recent 'tradition'.

I think I must be getting old as I always feel that it strange that there are a lot of people who state that marriage is just a 'piece of paper' yet feel it traditional to give their child the name of their partner.I think a child should take it's mother's surname - as I say I must be geting old!

maggied_2

I've said to my OH that if we have children before we get married (not the way I would have done it but that's how it's worked out) then they will have my surname - and that he wants them to have his surname then he can once we're married.

shellsuit

I was going to double barrel my name when we get married, because my eldest 2 have my name and the baby has OH's name.

I really want to take OH's name, but I don't want to lose my surname. So it's either double barrelling for me, or I'll have my surname as my middle name (I don't have a middle name) and OH's name as my surname, but I believe I have to do the latter by deed poll.

neneromanova

I voted for the Fathers name BUT only if you are still together when the baby is born. I was going to give me DD the Ex's last name but the moment we broke up he lost that right and priviledge (Sp?) Plus also it would have been much harder in the long run in her life chosing schools, taking her on holiday, etc.

But with this DD that i'm pregnant with, she will get OH's surname again unless we split up.

BeenieCat

My 2 kids have my surname. Father was mega annoyed when i said i have no intentionof giving baby his name, he was told we could all take his name if he wanted to commit and marry, he declined and has nothing to do with us now so i'm very glad my kids and me have the same name!! (Although i know not all men fail to see having a baby as a commitment lol!)

Person_one

If you do double barrel, then there's no reason why both parents can't do the same if they get married so all three of you have the same two surnames.

A man's surname is not more important than a woman's, there's no reason why one should change and not the other.

slobs

I've been with OH for over 20 yrs now and we are happily unmarried!
I had a daughter before we met who had my surname, and the 2 children I have with OH also have my surname.
I refused to have my children with a different name to me and neither did we see the point in changing mine and my daughter's surname just to be "traditional".
So we have myself and all 3 children with the same name, and OH kept his own, although he gets called by my surname so often by school/people that don't know us, that he has said he may as well change his!

delain

In my case double barreling is bad because the poor mite would have a massive mouthful of a name!

I do realise it means that the older 3 will have different surnames to the baby and I will have a different one again, but until OH and I decide to get married (I'm quite laid back on that, tbh!) it'll just be that way. I hate my own surname that much

euronorris

Person_one wrote: »

A man's surname is not more important than a woman's, there's no reason why one should change and not the other.

That's true. And I'm not sure that it would be worthwhile to change my surname by one letter.

I'd become euromorris, instead of euronorris. All that paperwork, and subsequent confusion (I'm sure plenty of people will think it's a typo or get mixed up),.....sigh.....just not sure it's worth the effort really.

Person_one

euronorris wrote: »

That's true. And I'm not sure that it would be worthwhile to change my surname by one letter.

I'd become euromorris, instead of euronorris. All that paperwork, and subsequent confusion (I'm sure plenty of people will think it's a typo or get mixed up),.....sigh.....just not sure it's worth the effort really.

If I ever get married, my rule will be that we either both change our names (hyphenate, a combo or an entirely new one) or neither of us does. I'd want a marriage on an equal footing and I don't think one partner giving up their previous identity to take on the other's is the best way to start out! Maybe if men changed their names on marriage in the same numbers that women do I'd feel differently but as long as its mainly us coming under pressure to do so nobody can convince me that there isn't sexism at work.

Its taken me a while to come to this conclusion because I used to truly hate my surname, its really frumpy and unattractive, but I love it now because its mine and its me!