Child's Surname

purplegirluk1

I had the same situation, I gave our son a double barrelled surname. I was worried about not having the same name as my son but wanted him to have his fathers too. We have since split up and I am happy our son has both our names. It works well for us, and our son's name isn't too long luckily my surname is only in syllable!

Caroline73_2

I'm so complicated. I was married, became Mrs F and had a DS1 in wedlock. When we got divorced I reverted back to my maiden name (miss G) but DS1 kept his Dads surname.

Then I met Mr M, had a DS2 with him and he was Master M. I married Mr M but I am still Miss G.

So our house is Mr M, Miss G, Master F and Master M. It has never caused confusion with anything official. I sometimes get called Mrs F or Mrs M if I am at either of the boys schools but I cope with that.

Even when I take they boys to the dentist and the three of us have our appointments together it doesn't matter. It's only a name and anyone can change their name as adults anyway. I'm not sure why people get so hung up over it. Being a family isn't about a name, it's about attitude.

thatgirlsam

yes, it can be very complicated!

my kids have different dads, on their birth certificates they both have my name, double barrelled with their fathers name

but i only ever call them by my surname , ds dad gets very cross about this but i don't want to be referred to as mrs 'his name'

my brothers partner is always being called mrs 'his name' and she gets fed up of saying actually its miss 'her name' so she just answers to his name , not so bad when you live together and have kids ..

dd's dad is a lot more secure and refers to his dd by my name and not his

kindofagilr

I dont think there is a norm.

I am engaged to OH and E has his surname, but even if I wasnt engaged he would have his surname, as I know we want to spend the rest of our lives together

I have two friends with children, and their kids have their mothers names.

GobbledyGook

This has been interesting to read. My husband and I split up at the tail end of last year and I'm due to have our first son soon (we have 2 girls) and the amount of people who assume that the baby will be having "my" (maiden) name because we are separated has really surprised me.

I will be giving the baby my married surname and I will be keeping for the forseeable future. I would only change my name if I married again.

Not having the same name as my children wouldn't bother me as it is only a name. I had my father's surname despite my parents not being married then lived with my Grandparents so always had a different name to those bringing me up. I think the children having the mother's name suggests that the father wasn't around/interested to me.

I also disagree that a double barrelled name will make people think "unmarried parents". I grew up with a double barrelled name (although it was just my father's, not done by my parents) and people's instant thoughts were that my family was posh - couldn't have been further from the truth. :rotfl:

thatgirlsam

GobbledyGook wrote: »

This has been interesting to read. My husband and I split up at the tail end of last year and I'm due to have our first son soon (we have 2 girls) and the amount of people who assume that the baby will be having "my" (maiden) name because we are separated has really surprised me.

I will be giving the baby my married surname and I will be keeping for the forseeable future. I would only change my name if I married again.

Not having the same name as my children wouldn't bother me as it is only a name. I had my father's surname despite my parents not being married then lived with my Grandparents so always had a different name to those bringing me up. I think the children having the mother's name suggests that the father wasn't around/interested to me.

I also disagree that a double barrelled name will make people think "unmarried parents". I grew up with a double barrelled name (although it was just my father's, not done by my parents) and people's instant thoughts were that my family was posh - couldn't have been further from the truth. :rotfl:

to me, kids not having their mothers name means the father wasn't interested in marrying the mother

spendaholiceejit

I gave DS his father's surname. We ended up marrying anyway (and then I had to have DS's birth certificate re-registered as L****** H***** was not his mother anymore)

Double-barrell was always a no for us. The two surnames together sounded really naff.

JC9297

thatgirlsam wrote: »

to me, kids not having their mothers name means the father wasn't interested in marrying the mother

That means you are assuming that any woman who shares a surname with her children is Mrs Whatever and it is actually her husband's name that they all have.

thatgirlsam

JC9297 wrote: »

That means you are assuming that any woman who shares a surname with her children is Mrs Whatever and it is actually her husband's name that they all have.

i never assume.. it makes an a$$ out of u and me

i have the same name as my kids and i am a Miss, so no i don't assume

*Louise*

If I had thought for a second that the relationship was in difficulty or wouldn't last long-term , I would have used my surname.

As it was, OH and I were engaged and living together so the children had his surname. The fact we didn't get married for another 10 years was irrelevant :rotfl:

My name is double-barrelled (kept my maiden name for work purposes) and the school/nursery know me as Mrs 'kids surname' but I would never pass on a double barrelled name which is why the kids only have OH's name.