Child's Surname

loopylorial

My kids have their dad's name.

The kids hate my surname - although I have to say I'm quite fond of it as it's unusual but they like theirs. At then end of the day I feel it is just a word and the people are much more important than what name they may have.

mistrihelen

My brother's girlfriend gave their daughter his surname, on the condition that he'd marry her one day, so they'd all end up with the same surname. He still hasn't proposed. He obviously loves her but it really winds her up. Would you feel the same way if getting married was always 'maybe next year'?

PasturesNew

Get married, problem solved.

elle_gee

My son has my partner's/his daddy's surname. We've always had a "yeah, one day" take on getting married so I'll end up with the same surname eventually Plus I prefer their surname to mine!

Burlesque_Babe

I was born in 1970 and when my Mum fell pregnant the father wanted nothing to do with me and they split before I was born. My mum used her maiden name and then met who I call my 'Dad' a year later. When they married he adopted me and I was given his name.

My sister and her ex had a baby and were planning to marry. My niece was given his surname. 4 weeks before the wedding (at his stag do of all places) he said he didn't love her and they split after he was marched home to repeat this lovely piece of news. My niece is now 9 and she said she didn't want her surname anymore and asked for it to be changed to my sister's name so they have done. Her ex wasn't fussed.

I would go with the mother's surname until you are married.

shellsuit

Not married and not engaged? I'd choose Mothers name.

Married, or engaged to be married, I'd choose the Father's name.

pinkclouds

I believe, if you are unmarried, it is "traditional" to give the baby the mother's surname. Personally, I'd give the baby my surname if I was in your situation. I'd be of the opinion that if the father wanted to give the baby his name then he would marry me.

If you did subsequently get married, then your surname could become a middle name. It is quite common/normal (in Scotland, at least) for the eldest child to have the mother's maiden name as a middle name.

MERFE

I wasn't married when I had my 2 children, they took my OH surname because the intention was always to get married, then we would all be the same. It is annoying having a different surname to them but also quite common. We are married now so doesn't really matter anymore.

I do have a friend who was held for several hours for questioning at the airport when she took her little one on holiday without the dad because they had different surnames but also different colour skin so the authorities obviously had to check it out. Not a nice way to start the holiday though.

Kavanne

Can't you double barrel the child's surname? So it has both??

Person_one

What's so bad about double barelling? You don't actually have to have the hyphen you can just have two surnames. Spanish children all get both and it doesn't seem to cause them any harm!

You're both the child's parents, and I don't follow the argument that because you give birth he should get the surname. You'll be doing all the hard work and he'll be getting the recognition!