Wrongly Accused, Urgent Advice Needed

halloweenqueen_2

Sorry to hear of your troubles anon, I would invest in a dictaphone and hold it to the phone for every phone call you make. Make sure they state their name on the phone then you have evidence of what they say to you on the phone.
With your other daughters - obviously if they have nothing to tell they will clear your husband that far and hopefully be returned soon.
Unfortunately they do have to treat your husband as guilty until proven innocent becausse of being children involved and the nature of the allegation.
Try not to rise to any niggling they may throw at you - dirty house, stressed etc. Inform them you will be taping any conversations = they keep records you need to keep yours. There may be a difference in their attitude if you have proof of their comments.
Thinking of you.

rainbowrisin

I do feel for you so much. (((((hugs))))). My heart goes out to you, your partner and your children.
Dreadful though this situation is for all parties involved, the police and social services are acting in the interests of your children as they see it. An allegation has been made and they would be negligent if they didn't follow it up.
I hope I'm not putting my great foot in it, but try and imagine if your son had made the allegation about a member of his foster family, for example - surely you would expect social services and the police to remove him until the matter had been thoroughly investigated, rather than leave him in a situation where he might be at risk? This is exactly what social services and the police are doing given the allegation your son made.
The police and social services have to follow procedural guidelines to safeguard the well being of children. If it's any comfort, they would act in exactly the same way if any child made a similar allegation - it's not personal to you or your family.
No, it's not pleasent when you're on the sharp end, most definitely not. The situation as it is will not stay the same as it is now, it will move forward one way or the other.
Your children will be safe where they are, and know that you love them.
I know it won't feel like it, but the powers that be are acting in the best interests of your children. They don't know if the allegation is true or not so have to presume that it is until proven otherwise.
(((((hugs)))))

rainbowrisin

helen_vasey wrote:

am I alone in feeling that some of this just doesn't sit right? perhaps I am being naive in thinking that social services and police would have a lot to explain by behaving in this way? the papers would have a field day with a story like this. if they have removed the other children surely they must have hard evidence? or can they really act with total impunity and trample all over people? I only ask because an aquaintance of my sister had a child and was a prostitute/severe drug addict who was actively supported by ss right up until her son of 2 burnt to death on her cooker as she entertained 2 "clients" upstairs for drugs.

As far as I can tell, the police and social services are acting according to the guidelines for child protection issues. If the allegation is unproven, the statutory agencies have still acted correctly given the information they have at the present time. The procedures can be pretty brutal for all parties involved, but have to be centered around the wellbeing of the children, regardless of the devestation that can bring to other family members.
Yes, statutory agencies can trample all over people rough shod. They can, and do, get it badly wrong at times - sometimes by acting too precipitously, sometimes, as in the tragic situation you've described, not acting precipitously enough.
My view is that there is an OP here who clearly is having the most horrific time and I feel desperately for her, regardless of the rights and wrongs of the situation.

Contains_Mild_Peril

rainbowrisin wrote:

As far as I can tell, the police and social services are acting according to the guidelines for child protection issues. If the allegation is unproven, the statutory agencies have still acted correctly given the information they have at the present time. The procedures can be pretty brutal for all parties involved, but have to be centered around the wellbeing of the children, regardless of the devestation that can bring to other family members.

Let's not forget that the children themselves are likely to find it pretty traumatic too, especially when police insist on arresting their dad in front of them instead of doing so in another room to try to minimise their distress, as should have been done.

Yes, statutory agencies can trample all over people rough shod. They can, and do, get it badly wrong at times - sometimes by acting too precipitously, sometimes, as in the tragic situation you've described, not acting precipitously enough.
My view is that there is an OP here who clearly is having the most horrific time and I feel desperately for her, regardless of the rights and wrongs of the situation.

Yes, there are startling inconsistencies in the way different cases are handled by different people in different areas etc, and we only have to watch the news regularly to realise that there are numerous cases where children have been taken away when they shouldn't have been, and also cases where children suffering genuine abuse were not given the protection they needed.
There are guidleines, but they're not always followed, and even when they are, they can't legislate for every possible scenario.

mandi

Hello Anon,

Ive read your thread, and all of your supportive posts. I can honestly say its heartbreaking reading..

Please can I offer some practical advice if you dont mind

Before you go to your solicitor, make a list of all the questions you need answered, becuse youll forget when you there..

Take someone with you to listen, to the answers.. ( two heads are better than one)

Would it be worth contacting your childrens teachers, for a reference, they if anyone would know your children are cared for

It would be easy for me to say " keep your chin up" sweetheart , but with 2 of my own.. I cant imagine how you feel

I will follow your posts, and you have my sincere thoughts with you .

snap_3

Hello Anon,

My thoughts are with you, stay strong for your children, big ((((hugs)))).. I hope this nightmare will soon be over for your family.

MISS_ATTITUDE1

hi anon
just wanted to say all my thoughts are with you and i hope that everything works out ok.i cannot imagine how you are feeling as i have 3 children and they are my life.all our prayers are with you.

hollydays

Hope this situation is resolved as soon as possible.One would have thought a police Officer,male and or female should have been present to attend to your kids while the search was being carried out.Or could the social worker not have done this.I would have thought that was her role.

love_lifer

sounds like there must be strong evidence taht your children have been abused. talk to friends and family and get some support to get you through this- they will help more than a website can

hollydays

Parentline 0808 800 2222.Someone to talk to.