Wrongly Accused, Urgent Advice Needed

jazzyjustlaw

anon43 wrote:

Apologies if this is in the wrong place, i wasnt sure where to put it.

I desperatly need some advice and i dont know where to turn to.

My 6 year old son has ADHD and for the past 4 weeks has been in respite care with social services.
I have had an absolute nightmare with them since day one from them not returning phone calls, to them not arranging contact, to them out right lying to me :mad: .
After trying to arrange contact with my son for the past 3 and a half weeks and getting no sense from anybody at all, the social worker finally agreed to me having contact with him tomorrow, it was arranged that the foster carer would meet me in town to drop him off and i was going to take him out for the day with my partner and my other 2 children.
The social worker and the team leader both went on their holidays today conveniently on the day of the 'looked after review' however they had arranged for another social worker to be presnet and she had all the information that she needed (this social worker has had nothing to do with the case and has never met my son nor myself). The review was then cancelled due to the fact that the social worker didnt have all the information she required and it has been postponed until next tuesday.
Then at 4.30pm this afternoon i recieved a phone call from a completly different social worker telling me that i was no longer allowed to have contact with my son, when i asked why all she would say to me is that 'allegations had been made' and that she wasnt willing to discuss it any further with me.

At this point i am then feeling sick to the bottom of my stomach not having a clue what is going on and not getting any sense out of anybody. At 5.20pm this evening she phoned me back and told me that she didnt know the details of the allegation, but my son had made an allegation against my partner and that i wouldnt be able to see him and wasnt allowed to contact him in any way, when i asked why this was the case if the allegation had been made about my partner i was told because you might try and talk him out of whats happened :mad: My reply to this was there is nothing to talk him out of because nothing has happened. It all seemed highly suspicious to me that this was all being brought up the day before i was due to have contact with him even though it was only agreed to yesterday afternoon, when i questioned the social worker about this i was told 'we have known for a while but nothing was done because until now when the social worker had gone on holiday'

2 days before he went into the placement my health visitor arranged for a paediatrician to check my son over, he is prone to hurting himself aswell as others around him and he bruises very easily and i was extremly concerned that something like this would happen as my son has been known to say things like this before when they werent true (everything from i smacked him, to my partner punching him, to my sister pinching him- who at the time was out of the country on holiday, to kids in school biting him) the social worker came with me to the paediatricians assessment who confirmed that there was nothing to worry about and that the bruises did occur how i said they had and also confirmed that he bruises much easier than a normal child wood and did blood tests to try and see if there was an underlying cause for this.

They have told me that i am not allowed to know what the allegation is until after they have 'interviewed' my son on thursday.

Obviously my partner hasnt done anything to him and nor have i or anyone else to my knowledge! We both feel physically sick to the bottom of our stomachs, the not knowing what has been said, what is happening, what is going to happen is making things worse. We are now arguing with each other and he is saying he is going to move out and not ever come back in our lives again if it means getting social services off our backs which obviously is the last thing that i want - he is the father to my other 2 children and the closest thing my son has ever had to a father, and he has been in his life since my son was 2.
I honestly dont know what to do, or where to turn, at the moment i feel like my whole life is falling apart around me and that there is nothing i can do to stop it.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions?
Sorry its so long i wanted to make sure i mentioned everything but im still pretty sure i have left lots out - my heads a mess

I do hope you have a Solicitor!!

Bossyboots

jazzyjustlaw wrote:

I do hope you have a Solicitor!!

Further back in the thread it is mentioned that she is seeing one tomorrow. Thankfully, (if there is a thankfully about all this,) she is guaranteed free legal aid now so need not worry about any costs in that regard.

jazzyjustlaw

Edinburghlass wrote:

Check out the website quoted here by Savvy_Sue and look at the list of websites quoted there for websites that will help you.

Don't mean to sound harsh but MSE is not the website to find the actual help that you need at this moment apart from the suggestons given to you by Bossyboots and above from Savvy_Sue.

Pick up the phone and try CAB now as regards a lawyer for yourself and/or partner.

I think that is harsh and MSE is just the place for her to post. Hugs anon.

jazzyjustlaw

Bossyboots wrote:

Further back in the thread it is mentioned that she is seeing one tomorrow. Thankfully, (if there is a thankfully about all this,) she is guaranteed free legal aid now so need not worry about any costs in that regard.

Sorry I did see it after.

ts_aly2000

Anon,

I think we're all very grateful to you for documenting this.

The problem in the past before the Internet is that these things went on and the families concerned had no public voice.

You're not alone. People are reading.

Just hang in there. Just look forward rather than on the right now. This is wrong!!

Contains_Mild_Peril

Anon43, I'm so sorry to hear about all that's happened to you and your family. My heart goes out to you, your kids and your partner.

anon43 wrote:

I did actually ask the police if they intended on searching my home they could at least have the decency to ask first and he looked at me and said oh sorry and carried on :mad: the social worker then decided that she was going to look around and told me 'im going to look in all the rooms now' i asked her if i had a choice and was told no :mad:

This is something you must discuss with your solicitor. I'm not sure if the same applies to you, but here in Scotland, if they had found anything, the "evidence" would have been unusable because it was illegally obtained.

i think im more annoyed about the fact they arrested my partner in front of my children and upset my daughter in the process even when i asked them to do it in another room so not to upset her and they just completly ignored me :mad:

It makes me angry, and I don't even know any of you. I don't know whether there any guidelines which say they shouldn't do this, but whether there are or not, the police and social workers have, in a way, abused the very children they're supposed to be trying to protect.

Spikey_2

Please do a couple of things:

1. get a solicitor who is part of the child care panel. (you will need to get a separate solicitor for the both of you from different firms)

2. never go into a meeting alone - any meeting.

3. record on paper all contact with anyone regarding this matter... date, time, person you spoke to (very important) & details of conversation.

Will Pm you some other stuff if you wish - please let me know.

Hope everything goes well.

Spikey

looby75

OMG Anon, my heart is breaking for you. ((((hugs)))) and you and you family are in my thoughts and prayers.

helen_vasey

am I alone in feeling that some of this just doesn't sit right? perhaps I am being naive in thinking that social services and police would have a lot to explain by behaving in this way? the papers would have a field day with a story like this. if they have removed the other children surely they must have hard evidence? or can they really act with total impunity and trample all over people? I only ask because an aquaintance of my sister had a child and was a prostitute/severe drug addict who was actively supported by ss right up until her son of 2 burnt to death on her cooker as she entertained 2 "clients" upstairs for drugs.

looby75

helen_vasey wrote:

or can they really act with total impunity and trample all over people?

To put it bluntly, yes sometimes they can. Sometimes they get it very very badly wrong, but as has already been pointed out they are only human. Unfortunately some social workers seem to forget that small fact and act like god.

I know this from personal experience as a child who has been through the care system.

We can only take posts from people on "face value" I don't know the OP so all I can do is send her my well wishes and hope that no matter what has or hasn't happened in the end everything is ok.