Wrongly Accused, Urgent Advice Needed

anon43_2

Apologies if this is in the wrong place, i wasnt sure where to put it.

I desperatly need some advice and i dont know where to turn to.

My 6 year old son has ADHD and for the past 4 weeks has been in respite care with social services.
I have had an absolute nightmare with them since day one from them not returning phone calls, to them not arranging contact, to them out right lying to me :mad: .
After trying to arrange contact with my son for the past 3 and a half weeks and getting no sense from anybody at all, the social worker finally agreed to me having contact with him tomorrow, it was arranged that the foster carer would meet me in town to drop him off and i was going to take him out for the day with my partner and my other 2 children.
The social worker and the team leader both went on their holidays today conveniently on the day of the 'looked after review' however they had arranged for another social worker to be presnet and she had all the information that she needed (this social worker has had nothing to do with the case and has never met my son nor myself). The review was then cancelled due to the fact that the social worker didnt have all the information she required and it has been postponed until next tuesday.
Then at 4.30pm this afternoon i recieved a phone call from a completly different social worker telling me that i was no longer allowed to have contact with my son, when i asked why all she would say to me is that 'allegations had been made' and that she wasnt willing to discuss it any further with me.

At this point i am then feeling sick to the bottom of my stomach not having a clue what is going on and not getting any sense out of anybody. At 5.20pm this evening she phoned me back and told me that she didnt know the details of the allegation, but my son had made an allegation against my partner and that i wouldnt be able to see him and wasnt allowed to contact him in any way, when i asked why this was the case if the allegation had been made about my partner i was told because you might try and talk him out of whats happened :mad: My reply to this was there is nothing to talk him out of because nothing has happened. It all seemed highly suspicious to me that this was all being brought up the day before i was due to have contact with him even though it was only agreed to yesterday afternoon, when i questioned the social worker about this i was told 'we have known for a while but nothing was done because until now when the social worker had gone on holiday'

2 days before he went into the placement my health visitor arranged for a paediatrician to check my son over, he is prone to hurting himself aswell as others around him and he bruises very easily and i was extremly concerned that something like this would happen as my son has been known to say things like this before when they werent true (everything from i smacked him, to my partner punching him, to my sister pinching him- who at the time was out of the country on holiday, to kids in school biting him) the social worker came with me to the paediatricians assessment who confirmed that there was nothing to worry about and that the bruises did occur how i said they had and also confirmed that he bruises much easier than a normal child wood and did blood tests to try and see if there was an underlying cause for this.

They have told me that i am not allowed to know what the allegation is until after they have 'interviewed' my son on thursday.

Obviously my partner hasnt done anything to him and nor have i or anyone else to my knowledge! We both feel physically sick to the bottom of our stomachs, the not knowing what has been said, what is happening, what is going to happen is making things worse. We are now arguing with each other and he is saying he is going to move out and not ever come back in our lives again if it means getting social services off our backs which obviously is the last thing that i want - he is the father to my other 2 children and the closest thing my son has ever had to a father, and he has been in his life since my son was 2.
I honestly dont know what to do, or where to turn, at the moment i feel like my whole life is falling apart around me and that there is nothing i can do to stop it.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions?
Sorry its so long i wanted to make sure i mentioned everything but im still pretty sure i have left lots out - my heads a mess

elona

Just wanted to send you a hug.

Hope things get sorted out when your social worker gets back from holiday.

hobo28

Sorry, I've no experience in this area. Have you seen a solicitor already? I wouldn't just sit back and take it and hope everything works out.

tired_mum

hi i have a son with ADHD and know how they can become so angry that they say things that arent true just to get a reaction my advice to you is to speak to parentline and get some legal advice from a soliciter it makes me so angry that social services need to pull caring families apart yet never seem to be interested in the kids who really need them untill it is too late
take care and lots of hugs going out to you will be thimking of you

Bossyboots

The only advice I can give is likely to worry you more. You need to find out what the interview on Thursday is, but I am suspecting it is going to be an "ABE" interview which would mean your son has made a very serious, possibly sexual allegation against your partner. Do you know (you have a right to this information) if the "interview" is going to involve the police. In our area there is a close link between the police and social services to provide a seamless system and avoid children being interviewed too many times and evidence being contaminated. It may be though that it is just a social work interview at this stage but you need to ask that question.

They have to protect the child and if an allegation is made they have to investigate. Because of the risk of coaching or contamination, contact with the parents is stopped.

Is your child accommodated with social services under Section 20 (that is with your consent, not a court order). If so, you have the option of removing him from care. I can tell you though that the result of any attempt to do that will be an application to the Court for a police protection order, then an emergency protection order and possibly even an interim care order if the allegations are believed.

In the alternative, if your child is already subject to an order, you can make a an application under Section 34 of the Children Act for contact with a child in care but you have no chance of having that heard by Thursday so it is not a viable option.

As you have not mentioned a solicitor, then I am assuming your child is accommodated under Section 20. If he was accommodated under a court order you would already have a solicitor on board. I think at the moment you will need to wait and see what Thursday brings. Either they will not believe what is being said and everything will return to normal or they will refuse further contact. You need then to get in touch with a solicitor to review your position with possession of the full facts and advise you what to do next. A solicitor with knowledge of your local social services department will be a help because he/she will know how the local one operates and will know the personalities involved and be able to advise you with that in mind.

nikiyoung

Sorry no advice but had to send a big hug to you.
:grouphug:
Niki

pitdog

likewise i dont have any advice but i will say from there point of view even if they are completely wrong, surely its better than the alternative and them not taking matters seriously as this kind of thing does happen far too often( personally i'd castrate the !!!!!!!s) and its better to upset perfectly loving caring families then let one slip through the net, i know this isn't much use to you but they have to do this.
good luck though hope everything works out for you

montrose5

Bossyboots has summed up all the options. Even if everything is sorted out I would get a solicitor on board as if something materialises in the future he/she is already up to speed.Sadly(and this is speaking from experience and not meant to offend anybody) many social workers on the 'front line' have all the qualifications but no experience to base decisions on and no back up from older colleagues. If the child protection unit from the local Police Force are involved they tend to be a little bit longer in the tooth and would soon see the situation for what it is one way or the other.
I know this doesn't provide much comfort but remember, just because their job title says they're an expert doesn't automatically make them right.
All the best

Broken_hearted

Get help the CAB have advocates that can help you deal with the SS. All I can do is send you big hugs. I gave up with SS as all they seem to do is make things worse. Try to stay positive. Hugs.

anon43_2

Bossyboots,

He is accomodated under section 20, they have told me that if i attempt to go and get him then they will involve their legal team immediatly

I intended on going down to social services this afternoon to try and speak to somebody face to face, however the same social worker i spoke to yesterday rang me about an hour ago so now im not sure whether to go down there or not.....
On the phone she told me that it was a very serious physical accusation against my partner and that the police would be conducting the interview and then would be getting in touch with me she wouldnt tell me anything else.
I have been ringing around solicitors all morning to try and find one that has experience of dealing with social services etc but the majority of solicitors in the area seem to be criminal or divorce lawyers only, i am going to contact the citizens advice bureau to see if they can reccommend someone who could help.

Do you think if i went and tried to speak to somebody in social services it would make things worse?

I just feel like im in a no win situation at the moment i dont know which way to turn, i dont know what to do

This is killing me and my partner inside

looby75

no advice but I just wanted to send you a ((((hug)))) this is every parents worst nightmare. You and your family are in my thoughts.