Wrongly Accused, Urgent Advice Needed

love_lifer

i suggest you contact social services and ask to speak with the area manager (or equivalent) to get a clearer picture of whats afoot. the leave situation of those involved is proably making this all worse than it really is, if your son's allegations are unfounded it should be swiftly sorted but SS must take serious stuff to police. also try family rights group- see their site

anon43_2

I cant do this anymore this is tearing me apart

I have just had the social worker ring me back again to tell me that my son has been interviewed by the police this afternoon (even though a few hours ago she told me it was happening tomorrow).
The police have now taken it on as a child protection issue. Apparently my son has a bump on the back of his head and a scar by his eye - both of which were not there when he saw the paediatrician 3 days before he went into the foster placement. This is apparently what my son has accused my partner of doing.
I dont know if its just me but would a bump that was apparently done 4 weeks ago not have gone down by now? and if there is a scar by his eye would there not have been some sort of cut there to turn into a scar to start with?
Maybe its just me and the fact that my head is a complete mess but what they are telling me just doesnt make sense.
She has told me that i should not under any circumstances go and collect my son and take him home or the police will issue some police protection order or something - im not sure of the exact wording that she used.
She also told me that i am not allowed telephone contact with my son at all and the only contact i can have with him is to be supervised. She asked me if i wanted to see my son and didnt like the fact that i said of course i do hes my son, and that when she suggested tomorrow i told her no due to the fact i have managed to get an appointment to see a solicitor tomorrow to find out what my rights are, she then told me that by saying that i was declining to see my son :mad:
She also told me that if the police decide that what my son is saying is true then my other 2 children could be taken off of me aswell.

I cant take anymore of this neither of us have done anything but try and help him and be patient with him due to his behaviour problems and beg social services for their help, and then they do this to us all for wanting a bit of help from them

I am sat here balling my eyes out, i am a wreck physically and emotionally, i dont know how much more of this i can take

Bossyboots

love_lifer wrote:

i suggest you contact social services and ask to speak with the area manager (or equivalent) to get a clearer picture of whats afoot. the leave situation of those involved is proably making this all worse than it really is, if your son's allegations are unfounded it should be swiftly sorted but SS must take serious stuff to police. also try family rights group- see their site

They will not give any more information. They have acted entirely within the protocol for this scenario and going down there making a fuss will only make matters worse. That episode will appear in social work records as an obstructive pursuit.

I know it is no consolation to you anon43 but everything they are doing is by the book. This does not mean they believe your partner guilty, but they HAVE to take the appropriate action. To be honest, I would be relieved that it is a police and not a social work interview as the perspective will be different and as montrose has said, the officers will be more experienced. They will also be experts at this type of interview which will be done in a soft room and made as comfortable as possible for your child. Cooperation is your best bet at the moment. I know it is really hard for you and easy for me to say when I see this sort of thing every day, but please try not to stress too much about it at this point in time. The real decider of what happens next comes after the interview. If you PM with the area in which you live, I will see if I can search out a firm of solicitors for you who specialise in this sort of work.

Edit: we have cross posted. Your line of attack here is that this happened in the foster home. They will not like to think that is possible but believe me it happens. It is also totally common for children to blame someone close to them as perpetrator of something like this. You would actually now be better of with them issuing court proceedings. You would get automatic legal aid, they will have to produce their evidence to the court and you via your solicitor and you would have a chance to take a stand against the accusation. They have a duty to make contact possible. If you have other arrangements (and seeing a solicitor is an acceptable reason for rearranging contact) then they MUST make alternative plans for you to see him.

elona

Contact your M.P. and explain what has happened.

The very best of luck with this.

montrose5

Just to add on from bossyboots.Keep a diary,all phone calls,who you spoke to and what was said(if possible have it corroborated) and make sure you keep all paperwork safe.I know it's not a good time but sit down with your partner and try to put down on paper whats happened thus far, it will make things easier for a solicitor(and for the Police if it's found he was assaulted in care).
As has been mentioned don't go in all guns blazing, I know it's easy for us to be sat here commenting and none of us could begin to imagine what you are going through but try and keep it together. Good luck.

Bossyboots

elona wrote:

Contact your M.P. and explain what has happened.

The very best of luck with this.

I know you mean this with the best of intentions but the fact is that social services have done nothing wrong. There is a protocol document setting out how this type of incident should be handled and so far they have done everything by the book.

As montrose says, it is easy for us to sit here offering advice and it may seem that what is happening is out of order but so far, heartbreaking though it is for the OP, her position is limited in what she can do. This is a situation that can be dealt with and worked through but it is not an instantly solvable problem. Honesty and cooperation are necessary and it is certainly sound advice to keep a record of every conversation and the person with whom that conversation was held. Also to make a record of events so far as suggested. Try to think back to the days before he went into care and make a particular note of events of those days to support the argument that this bump has occurred while the child was in care.

anon43_2

Thank you everyone for your advice and support. This is something i feel that i cant turn to 'real' friends about if you understand where i am coming from.

I know it is a long way off and may never even happen but what would happen if they did believe my son?
My partner has just come out with the comment that he is going to leave and let me get on with it, the way he is looking at it is that if he isnt here then the problem will go away, he feels he is forcing me to choose between my son and himself although that isnt the case.
I would just like to know where i would stand, maybe you could even put it as preparing myself based on 'worst case scenario'

ts_aly2000

I'm very sorry to read of this anon43 and I have only one thing to say, "Bloody Social Workers!!"

Bossyboots

anon43 wrote:

Thank you everyone for your advice and support. This is something i feel that i cant turn to 'real' friends about if you understand where i am coming from.

I know it is a long way off and may never even happen but what would happen if they did believe my son?
My partner has just come out with the comment that he is going to leave and let me get on with it, the way he is looking at it is that if he isnt here then the problem will go away, he feels he is forcing me to choose between my son and himself although that isnt the case.
I would just like to know where i would stand, maybe you could even put it as preparing myself based on 'worst case scenario'

I am not sure whether I should give you the worst case scenario as you are just going to torture yourself with it and it may all come to nothing. However, I can't answer your question really without going into that realm but I can assure you that the problem will not go away. You will simply both be left with your own nightmares when you could/should be supporting each other. There may come a day when it is suggested to you that your son can come home/you can keep your other children, if your partner leaves. Then you will have to decide what to do.

Is your partner your son's father and if so, does he have parental responsibility?

montrose5

Anon, there are too many unknowns to this one to give any sort of best or worst case scenario. I think it will be one day at a time just now but get all the help and advice you can.' Strength through Knowledege'.