working children paying keep - how much?

floss2

liney wrote: »

The way i understand it is that the OP is being asked for a 3rd of the cost of running the house......

Did I miss something, or have we actually seen figures to back this up?

Without knowing any other of the specific amounts, we all know that as the OP has now left Uni, the council tax will go up by 33% as her mother will no longer be able to claim the student's 25% reduction.

floss2

liney wrote: »

...... for example i expect your mortgage is nearly, or non existant..

Sorry to go off topic & to be picky, but this is a bit of an assumption. You don't know anyone's personal circumstances.

Our mortgage matures in 5 years and is for £50k so the payment is relatively small. However, when my 2 DS's both finish uni in 2 years (2 graduations the same summer - bad planning!), we intend to move home - and will then substantially increase the size, term & payment of our mortgage.

So yes, it is nearly non-existant & small, for now, but ask me in 2 years & it won't be.

Marker_2

Voice_of_reason wrote: »

Buying her mothers house? lol. I think thats just spoilt bratts take on it. Its called 'rent' to any guests (and thats what OP is. In any ase, Presumably the mortgage is cheaper than OP renting elsewhere.
£750 mortgage
120 gas/elec
£400 food
£25 phone
125 council tax
£1414 total (plus tv licence, property insurance, car tax/fuel/ etc.etc

Adult offspring contribution £100. Mmmmmm

Doesn't qute add up does it?
I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but I would throw open the question : 'When should parents stop subsidising their adult offspring?'

Kat is not a guest, shes the mothers child. Webitha - I cant believe you just said the mother just lets you live there, huh, if this is the way mothers act is there any wonder we've got a society full of muppets and hate. Why's your 9 year old kid reading this sort of site, shouldnt he have toys to play with??

Encouraging responsibilities and values are down to the parents. If you raise a brat then you have no one to blame but yourself. Kat is selfish, her mother should of taught her the basics about life.

I would never take anything off my child, least of all money she's earnt. I will bring her up to respect money and know what are luxuries. If I wanted kids to pay off my mortgage when im old and lazy I best start popping out more now!

Your kids owe you nothing, they didnt ask to be here, you chose to have them, so pay for them, or teach them good enough morales and values so when the time comes they won't need anything off you!

Marker_2

dannynixon wrote: »

Stop being a selfish idiot. It should be a third of your wage you selfish git

What, so if the mother had 3 kids, she wouldnt have to pay a cent towards her own mortgage or bills?

moggylover

webitha wrote: »

i think your wrong about this
the house is your mothers home she just lets you live there , which, according to you should be practically free, even though thats you have been doing since you were born living there rent free with all the extras, which like any parent you mother did so, willlingly iyswim, but now your an adult you wish to be treated like and adult, then its down to you to act like one,
my god woman, and you are a woman, my 9 year old son has read this thread and even he is embarrassed about your attitude.

if you think you can get a better deal elsewhere, then by all means do so, and leave the room free for someone who is willing to pay a proper rent, ie a lodger, who im sure wont have hissy fits like this like a 3 year old ,

My 13 year old son also looked at this thread and said he though it was really "tight" (apparently the in word for unpleasant and unkind and just plain horrible) to not want to pay a fair share of costs of a home after all that her mother has done to make her life so far, and uni days easy.

moggylover

Marker wrote: »

What, so if the mother had 3 kids, she wouldnt have to pay a cent towards her own mortgage or bills?

No, it would just be split 4 ways!

What IS the hardship here - yeah, okay, mum spoilt her: but should she suffer forever? Or stand firm with the necessary tough love now so that her daughter learns (even a little late in the day) that life is not free?

I re-iterate that parents do NOT do their children ANY favours letting them live for a pittance once they leave school and start earning. Those that do not learn the facts of life about paying for themselves before they leave home to be in a relationship are the ones most likely to find that relationship torn apart when they find the reality of paying ones fair share too much of a hardship and the rows start as they expect the OH to spoil them in the way their parents did.

I have been there - both with lodgers, and with "partners". If one parent is forced to "parent" the other both financially and emotionally then there is little happiness for either!

Marker_2

moggylover wrote: »

No, it would just be split 4 ways!

What IS the hardship here - yeah, okay, mum spoilt her: but should she suffer forever? Or stand firm with the necessary tough love now so that her daughter learns (even a little late in the day) that life is not free?

I re-iterate that parents do NOT do their children ANY favours letting them live for a pittance once they leave school and start earning. Those that do not learn the facts of life about paying for themselves before they leave home to be in a relationship are the ones most likely to find that relationship torn apart when they find the reality of paying ones fair share too much of a hardship and the rows start as they expect the OH to spoil them in the way their parents did.

I have been there - both with lodgers, and with "partners". If one parent is forced to "parent" the other both financially and emotionally then there is little happiness for either!

I agree even late down the road that kids need to learn. BUT where I may differ from some others, I wouldnt actually spend the money she gave me in rent. I would save that for her so she can have a better stepping stone than I did in life.

I will manage before she reaches 'that' age, so when she reaches that age I am not going to take money off her for myself. She didnt chose the amount I pay on a mortgage and unless shes gonna by all her own food I will be picking what food I buy and what I make.

My sisters and I were my mothers little skivvys when we were really young. I started earning my own little pocket money at 12, from there on in I had to buy all my own items, deodrant etc. My mother was recently divorced so my sisters and I would of helped out anyway, but we wernt given an option. I moved out at 17 with no money as she had basically taken my £15 a week earnings since I got it.

floss2

Marker wrote: »

I agree even late down the road that kids need to learn. BUT where I may differ from some others, I wouldnt actually spend the money she gave me in rent. I would save that for her so she can have a better stepping stone than I did in life.

This is a good attitude to have, but not everybody is in a position to do this.

Marker wrote: »

I will manage before she reaches 'that' age, so when she reaches that age I am not going to take money off her for myself. She didnt chose the amount I pay on a mortgage and unless shes gonna by all her own food I will be picking what food I buy and what I make.......

[STRIKE]So you won't ask her for any increase in council tax, or higher electric / gas / water useage?[/STRIKE]
sorry, I had misread the quote...but I don't think the OP's mum is planning to take money for herself, I think sacrifices have been made to support her at uni & now mum wishes to redress those sacrifices.

I certainly would not expect mine & DF's salaries to absorb the increased costs of having an extra adult in the household. Apart from being sensible to cover higher bills etc, in my eyes it is good parenting to raise your children to expect to chip in to cover their living costs at home when they are earning. After all, if they were living away from home they would have to pay rent/bills/food, so why not expect a fair contribution?

Marker_2

floss2 wrote: »

This is a good attitude to have, but not everybody is in a position to do this.



So you won't ask her for any increase in council tax, or higher electric / gas / water useage?

I certainly would not expect mine & DF's salaries to absorb the increased costs of having an extra adult in the household. Apart from being sensible to cover higher bills etc, in my eyes it is good parenting to raise your children to expect to chip in to cover their living costs at home when they are earning. After all, if they were living away from home they would have to pay rent/bills/food, so why not expect a fair contribution?

The sooner they save the sooner they are able to set up home for themselves, if I kept taken money off them everymonth then they will never get there, especially in this day and age where getting onto the property ladder is impossible.

Council Tax increase is not a whole lot of money, but I knew that before I had her. If anything, when they are earning you pay less for them. I would put a roof over her head and food on the table. She can clothe her own back. Before she came of age I was will be paying for school uniforms, school equipment, clothing etc etc. When they are older the costs are cheaper. Iyswim

floss2

I understand, and can see where you are coming from. Everybody has different financial situations but don't forget EMA as a way to help the cost of keeping a 16+ at school though

To be honest though, and to get back to the OP, I think she needs her legs slapping as a wake-up call! She obviously hadn't thought things through before posting, as she thought that £80 + maybe £10 bills + food a week in a flat would be cheaper than £100 a week all in!