Girlfriend leaving but wants half of house

pink_phantom

To be honset, if my partner saved me in a fire when he could have saved my boy, I don't think I would ever forgive him and I think many parents would feel the same. I don't think it would come to that because I know he would save my boy first anyway.

ben500

How about you Steve are you still with us? Have you sought advice from family and friends? As I said they are best placed to provide it knowing both you and your partner although they still may be partisan to some extent, you would at least be able to rationalise a little more as to whether or not one or both of you are being unreasonable. I hope the off topic subject matter is not too much of a distraction for you, but at least the hang em high brigade have shut up for a while.

EagerLearner

Although I am a woman, I can understand the OP point of view - however, he is hurt and angry and we don't know the full story, only his.

Assuming his story is the 'right one', my 2 cents is that if she found someone else she was happier with, would the guilt of leaving her long term partner not allow some leniency on her part? I mean, try to get some money to start life again, sure - but to make him sell the property is a bit harsh. I was in a situation like that once and was very unhappy, so I chose to leave and rather be on my own than unhappy in the relationship, I left everything behind to start again with barely a penny to my name. I understand she may not be able to do this, but as she is choosing to leave and be with another man (rather than it being a 'breakdown of communication' on both sides), it could be made fairer in a mutual agreement of some sort? I'm probably being naiive, things are not that easy I know.

Good luck anyway, hope you are managing to get things sorted and it works our fairly for all, especially the child involved.

scheming_gypsy

EagerLearner..
She probably did meet somebody she'd be happier with but she probably met him while the OP was out at work earning enough to keep them housed, clothed and fed.
If that is the case taking 50% is harsh, especially as on top of that he'll be paying maintenance for his kid and possibly towards the other as he may have looked on 'it' as his own depending on the length of the relationship

pink_phantom

scheming_gypsy wrote:

you sound like a bone idle miserable old cow.
The blokes girlfriend has left him for another bloke after doing nothing wrong. He did exactly the same as your husband does, works while you sit at home filing your nails and watching daytime tv.
He has also supported a child that isn't his so he's entitled to more that his fair share of the profits from the split up. What was his reward for upgrading her life? a kick in the b*ll*cks from a money grabbing selfish cow.
It's just a shame he didn't realise what she was like before and kicked her back to the council estate.

You've never worked? i take it from what you're saying you left education and got married straight away? or did you just sit around before finding somebody to leach off?

You are bang out of order saying this and i am reporting this post.

pink_phantom

scheming_gypsy wrote:

i'm entitled to have an opinion so sling it.

Well kindly express your opinion in a less offensive manner then.

comping_cat

scheming_gypsy wrote:

EagerLearner..
She probably did meet somebody she'd be happier with but she probably met him while the OP was out at work earning enough to keep them housed, clothed and fed.
If that is the case taking 50% is harsh, especially as on top of that he'll be paying maintenance for his kid and possibly towards the other as he may have looked on 'it' as his own depending on the length of the relationship

Trouble is, we can argue about whose fault it is, who has been wronged, is she a moneygrabber, or just unhappy, all day, the fact remains she is on the mortgage and deeds, and has been for 10 years. As far as i am aware, when i split from my ex, as he was on the mortgage and deeds he was entitled to half the equity, even though it had been my house originally and i had put a lot more in than he had, because i hadnt made a provision that if we ever split, i would get a bigger share. When you love someone you think its forever, not until the next mr right (or mrs right in my case) comes along. I would like to think after everything Steve has said that he would get more, as my case was 5 1/2 years ago, but i dont think it will be. As for the children, i think if one is staying with the mother, the other should stay as well, unless he specifically asks to stay with his dad, as the mother has been the main carer (Steve has been working) and i think the split is going to be hard enough on the children without the siblings being split up, as well as the parents.

redmandarin

scheming_gypsy wrote:

you sound like a bone idle miserable old cow.
The blokes girlfriend has left him for another bloke after doing nothing wrong. He did exactly the same as your husband does, works while you sit at home filing your nails and watching daytime tv.
He has also supported a child that isn't his so he's entitled to more that his fair share of the profits from the split up. What was his reward for upgrading her life? a kick in the b*ll*cks from a money grabbing selfish cow.
It's just a shame he didn't realise what she was like before and kicked her back to the council estate.

You've never worked? i take it from what you're saying you left education and got married straight away? or did you just sit around before finding somebody to leach off?

scheming_gypsy wrote:

i'm entitled to have an opinion so sling it.

Two abusive posts, both reported.

looby75

ben500 wrote:

Please direct me to the evidence that supports your theory that womens parental instincts are greater than men's as this really won't do to convince me I'm afraid, and of course if you frequent forums that are populated by estranged mothers then what else would you expect to see than a series of posts from estranged mothers detailing their plight, when was the last time you visited a forum for estranged fathers to get a balanced view?

Well the fact that we have to go through all that, yet many women choose to do it again a second, third or even more time. Seriously the maternal instinct makes women do things that when you put them down on paper make you look like a masochist or insane!

And I don't frequent in forums that are populated by estranged mothers only. The forums I spend most time in are this one, ebay community boards and the channel 4 forums, none of which are parenting or single parent sites. Yet everytime single parents are discussed it's usually the men who have walked away from the kids, very rarely the women.

scheming_gypsy

redmandarin wrote:

Two abusive posts, both reported.

cheers..

you're supposed to be an adult though aren't you?