cougar problem

angelicmary85

galvanizersbaby wrote: »

It's a bit different where I am - everyone is offered a screening test between 10 and 13 weeks (I think it is) - this is either BARTS (which is a blood test think the same as you are referring to) and this is what I had when pg with son (which basically calculates a risk factor along with mothers age) or a nuchal fold scan specifically for Downs I think (measures nuchal fold and again calculates a risk factor along with mothers age).
Based on the results of the screening test it is then down to the mother to decide but with a high risk result amnio would be offered and then down to mum to decide.

Of course both tests are no accurate - just an indication - often false positive so really down to Mum to decide whether to go on to have an amnio.

I had a nuchal fold scan privately when pg 6 years ago with DD but it is now offered on the NHS here.

Then you get the 20 week scan also.

I think it is a bit unfair that some regions of the country don't offer the same maternity care

I was talking about the AFP(?) blood test. I know the 20week scans are not used to asess Down's, however, they are more detailled than the inital scan and can, therefore, be used as an indicator due to skull shape.

The hospital I had both my kids have only just started offering 20week scans!

nottslass wrote: »

Its not the 20 week scan that is done to asses the risk of Downs - its the NTT (sorry can't remember its full name) which is done before 14
weeks.

To be honest there are a lot worse "conditions" a child can have than downs syndrome and many people choose not to have the test anyway.

I know there's alot worse out there!!

As I said in my other post, the blood test isn't accurate.

For us, it depended on which side of the hospital you lived on...if you were on the south side (not actually the south but you get the idea!), you didn't get a 20week scan and maternity care is terrible. The north side...well, that's a whole different story!

POPPYOSCAR

Frugalista wrote: »

Kind of makes your friend a shallow !!!!!! with no sense of commitment .

I agree with you there. But being married obviously hasn't made her committed has it?

skypie123_2

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I agree with you there. But being married obviously hasn't made her committed has it?

Being committed is down to your values and thats down to the individual. Millions of people take their vows extremely seriously and wouldn't dream of breaking them. Seems that with the sort of values your friend has there is very little that would make her committed. Thats hardly the fault of the institution of marriage though is it? If you don't want to get married then don't but don't slate something you don't believe in just because you feel it wouldn't work for you, it works for plenty of others. There are no guarantees that someone will remain committed to you but actually being married people are more likely to work at it than if they aren't.

jonty1970

Update
I have decided, after thinking long and hard and talking to my partner, I won't be having a baby with him.
I just don't want to go through it all again, nothing really to do with my age, but I have children already. And I don't have a deep yearning to have a baby.
My Fiance says he is happy to be with me and wants us to get married when my youngest is a bit older (he is having a few school problems at the moment) but it is on the cards as soon as possible.

He asked me to marry him a couple of weeks ago. I said yes and we are over the moon!

Thanks for all the replies!

I can accept that maybe, in the future, he may change his mind and want children, but I can't do anything about that.