cougar problem

jonty1970

OK, us Cougars are all the rage apparently
I am one. I have a much younger boyfriend.
He is 32 and I am 44 and we love each other to bits
Sadly, I am too old for a baby now. He doesn't have any children and wants one.
I have children already
I would love to give him a child. I have read about older mothers but feel it's too risky at my age, for me and the baby
Anyone else in this situation? Part of me wants to go ahead and try for a baby
But part of me says "No, I have done my bit and it's not safe"
I feel him being with me, is robbing him of the chance of a family life

myothercarisaferrari

go for it. Lady at my work is having a baby in July - she is 46 x

jonty1970

I want to. He would love it
His family would love him or her to bits

movingforward2010

my mum had my little sister at 46! shes 13 and im 28, when i take her for a day out people think im her dad! :rotfl:

property.advert

How would you feel being 60 and still with a child at school ? What happens if the baby is a downs syndrome baby or has other defects ? Consider the effect on the child of an aged mother ?

If he really wanted or needed children then he would have already had them. Enjoy the boyfriend but forget about a baby. 50 years old and alone with a toddler is no place you want to be.

POPPYOSCAR

I see nothing wrong with this.My mum had my brother at 42(Came as a great surprise to her!!) It has worked out fine for our family.My mum and dad loved him to bits and he was given things that we didn't have because they were older and could afford it then.

But I think it should be something that YOU want or you may resent the child
for changing your life etc.If you think that you can cope - go for it.

gingin_2

If you started out the thread titile with "I want to start a family but fear I am too old at 44" I would say that if you are fit and healthy and active, then go for it!

But the thread was started with you saying that you wanted to "give him a baby". Are you considering having a child because you don't want to lose him?

We're talking a life here and a lifelong commitment from you. What do YOU want?

tori.k

My DH is a later life baby his mum was 44 when she had him, if you are in good health go for it if its what you want, its never bothered him as a child having an older mum, as to a small child anyone over 20 is ancient.

jonty1970

Thank you everyone!

I love children and I love being a mum. I'm at my happiest changing nappies and pushing a pram to be honest.

I wish I had met him earlier. I am just worried about being too old and worried about having a baby with problems.

he said he loves being with me and won't push me into anything, as my health comes first. He would rather have me and no kids.

He is a wonderful man and we would be so happy as a family and If it's not this year, I won't try any later.
It's sort of now or never

jonty1970

And like I said, being an older mum wouldn't bother me. I've been a single parent before and coped in very difficult circumstances.

I am worried health wise, for me and the baby and you hear of babies and mums being ill and I don't want that.

I never thought twice before and easily got pregnant with my ex
It's a hard decision to make now, because of my age
If I was a bit younger, I wouldn't think twice

We are very happy as we are though.

custardy

jonty1970 wrote: »

OK, us Cougars are all the rage apparently
I am one. I have a much younger boyfriend.
He is 32 and I am 44 and we love each other to bits
Sadly, I am too old for a baby now. He doesn't have any children and wants one.
I have children already
I would love to give him a child. I have read about older mothers but feel it's too risky at my age, for me and the baby
Anyone else in this situation? Part of me wants to go ahead and try for a baby
But part of me says "No, I have done my bit and it's not safe"
I feel him being with me, is robbing him of the chance of a family life

i have a friend with a daughter in Uni and another just starting school
she was a bit older than you when she had her youngest
it was a tough decision as she wasnt planned (and the younger dad has gone!) but she is glad she did
not easy but worth it