cougar problem

Oldernotwiser

jonty1970 wrote: »

I love children and I love being a mum. I'm at my happiest changing nappies and pushing a pram to be honest.

That's the most worrying thing you've said. This is such a very small part of a child's life; if this is what you enjoy doing, train as a Nursery Assistant and you can spend the rest of your working life doing it rather than just a couple of years.

jonty1970

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That's the most worrying thing you've said. This is such a very small part of a child's life; if this is what you enjoy doing, train as a Nursery Assistant and you can spend the rest of your working life doing it rather than just a couple of years.

What I meant was, that is the hardest part of having a child (I know it is hard and you have worrying times whatever their age) but I don't mind that at all.
That is what people say to put you off, that they hated the sleepless nights and nappys and washing! I take it all in my stride!

I'm not having a baby just to play with. We want a baby together. I wouldn't be a single mum just to have one. We are commited. I know a child would be loved and never short of family around to help out

whitewing

Definitely go for it. I'm 37 and just had my second. I read so much about what we were at risk from that it was quite a shock that she's perfectly fine! (DH's first and he is besotted with the both of us).

jonty1970

Thank you everyone! I'm not going to rush into anything, but I do feel more reasured hearing about other older mums.
I joined slimming world tonight. Already lost 2 stone and want to lose 2 more, so I will keep at that for now and see in a few months how I feel
I'll be back to let you know if we do decide to try for a baby!

Oldernotwiser

jonty1970 wrote: »

I joined slimming world tonight. Already lost 2 stone!

Where do I sign up?:rotfl:

mrcow

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Where do I sign up?:rotfl:

And me.

What did they do, cut your leg off?!

property.advert

angelicmary85 wrote: »

Down's Syndrome babies aren't just born to older mothers.

That is true but the percentage chance increases with age. It is a greater consideration than when you are 20 for instance.

[Deleted User]

I am 42 and a diabetic (altho I work hard to control it) and I managed to have a healthy baby altho he did have to go into SCBU because he vomited bile after being born. All turned out to be nothing tho. I'd say I'm a better mum second time around, as like other's have said, u know what to expect and how to cope and what to ignore better.

With my first son he hardly slept for the first 8 years, was still in our bed half the time at age 8 (but it turned out he had ASD). When my second son started getting a bit restless at night I was a lot firmer.., and the tendancy to wake soon resolved without any trauma caused as far as I know. The fact that I was 10 years older actually helped.

I love my kids, and yes, while it might be nice to just flit off for a weekend with my OH on our own on the odd occasion.., its not something we need to do, and we get so much enjoyment from our sons (and laughter), what we can't do pales in comparison lol. Its as restricting as u make it.

I think from the way u write u'd love being a mum, and the child would be very lucky to have you. You might need to discuss with your other half some lifestyle/work changes tho. Can he change jobs to something with more normal hours.., only fair if u are going to consider having a baby. There's not much point in you two having another child (so he can be a father) if he's not around much. He's not really going to get the fatherhood experience if he just see's him/her at weekends. I know this because my OH gave me the idea that he was fully au fait with being a parent (before we met he was a long distance lorry driver so only home every other weekend). It was only when baby arrived that I realised he didn't have a clue as far as day to day care of a young child went, and he now admits he didn't know as much as he thought lolol. He just didn't get the fatherhood experience working such long hours, in spite of having two sons.

lucylucky

skypie123 wrote: »

I don't agree with this at all.
Having a baby is a commitment to the baby not the other person. They can easily walk away so you make your commitment to the child involved.
Marriage is a commitment to your partner.

Have you seen the divorce rates?

Marriage may be a commitment but not necessarily. It doesn't need to have anything to do with deciding to have children.

Spendless

jonty1970 wrote: »

I will only do it if it's right for me, as I will be the one doing the main caring. OH works very long hours and alternate shifts every other week, so I would be on my own most of the time.
He would love a baby, but he worrys about my health (we don't actually know any older mums) The press is mostly negative about older mums, in my opinion, and you seem to hear the stories about ill children or mums.
Or is it just picking up the bad points!

I could do with losing a few pounds first! anyway!
I have told him, it's soon or not at all. Over 45/6 is my cut off point!

He won't leave me if I don't get pregnant, and if he did ever say that, he would get my boot up his backside on the way out the door!

It's lovely to hear from other older mums! Thanks again

Have you experienced this at all with your other children? Having a partner who is working long hours mixed with a young child, is hard. I know this from experience and am still finding this aspect hard when they are 10 and 7.

Something else I've noticed is that several people are saying you'll be fine I had/My mum had a child and then mention an age in early 40's which may be totally different to being in your mid to late 40's with a newborn.