cougar problem

gingin_2

C_Mababejive wrote: »

I would ensure that your married first.

Why would you suggest that?

POPPYOSCAR

C_Mababejive wrote: »

I would ensure that your married first.

How does BF feel about that?

Why is that?

claireac

I've now been both an older and younger mum!!

I have ds1 nearly 21, ds2 19 and dd is nearly 4. My oldest and youngest share a birthday and they're 17 years apart.

I was 36 when I had dd, and tbh I can't remember much difference being preg this time around - apart from awful ms, but think that's because she was a girl!! I was also lucky enough to get pg on our month of trying. This was the same with the boys and I thought that was a fluke but apparently not.

It's been great, the boys adore her, and she keeps me young!! I too was offered the downs tests as an "older mum", but refused them.

We're tentatively thinking of ttc again at the moment and I'm nearly 40 .

C_Mababejive - why???!! What guarantee is that??

POPPYOSCAR

claireac wrote: »

I've now been both an older and younger mum!!

I have ds1 nearly 21, ds2 19 and dd is nearly 4. My oldest and youngest share a birthday and they're 17 years apart.

I was 36 when I had dd, and tbh I can't remember much difference being preg this time around - apart from awful ms, but think that's because she was a girl!! I was also lucky enough to get pg on our month of trying. This was the same with the boys and I thought that was a fluke but apparently not.

It's been great, the boys adore her, and she keeps me young!! I too was offered the downs tests as an "older mum", but refused them.

We're tentatively thinking of ttc again at the moment and I'm nearly 40 .

C_Mababejive - why???!! What guarantee is that??

I think that is great!! I wish I had started my family earlier only because i would have liked to have had more children but life didn't work out that way.

Good luck to you if you decide on another one, at least you should have lots of helpers!!

jonty1970

I don't think marriage comes into it. A baby is much more of a commitment than a ring on my finger.

I enjoy life now, but I love being a mum.
If it doesn't happen, I think I will become a nursery nurse and give all my caare to other peoples babies!

My youngest is 13 and eldest 26
3 boys still at home, so plenty of help, if it did happen.

I must have doubts, because I am thinking long and hard about it

Thanks for letting me talk it though and for all the advice :beer:

Bubby

If you BOTH want a baby then I see no reason why not. In fact I often think that the older mums at school are much calmer with their children. I had young parents but I never really noticed whether they were young or old tbh.

Spendless

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

This is interesting.Do you think people with young children do not enjoy life then?????????? and do not get out and about??????? It hasn't stopped us.Has it stopped you?

Yes in a way. Unless the children are at school I cannot just nip out and go for a pint of milk, loaf of bread without taking at least 1 of them with me. I'm prepared to leave the eldest (10) for a short while (nip for something local, not a supermarket run) but not the youngest. My eldest was sick in night asked for calpol this morning, we had none in. Youngest had to get dressed so we could go out to co-op and see if they had some. That sort of thing is even more 'full on' when they are pre-schoool age, and when you've got to the stage that older kids are, when you don't have to guarantee being home when they get in from school, or can go do a Tesco shop and elave them all in or out-it must be hard to go back to the can't go anywhere without a child in tow.

I have limited family help which is probably why feel this 'aspect' more, but the older you are, the older your parents are likely to be so there might be possible limited help there.

gingin_2

jonty1970 wrote: »

I don't think marriage comes into it. A baby is much more of a commitment than a ring on my finger.

I enjoy life now, but I love being a mum.
If it doesn't happen, I think I will become a nursery nurse and give all my caare to other peoples babies!

My youngest is 13 and eldest 26
3 boys still at home, so plenty of help, if it did happen.

I must have doubts, because I am thinking long and hard about it

Thanks for letting me talk it though and for all the advice :beer:

It's natural to have doubts and it's good that you are thinking it through rather than rushing straight into it.

I think you come across as a lovely, sensible person and I wish you all the very best of luck whatever you decide.

POPPYOSCAR

Spendless wrote: »

Yes in a way. Unless the children are at school I cannot just nip out and go for a pint of milk, loaf of bread without taking at least 1 of them with me. I'm prepared to leave the eldest (10) for a short while (nip for something local, not a supermarket run) but not the youngest. My eldest was sick in night asked for calpol this morning, we had none in. Youngest had to get dressed so we could go out to co-op and see if they had some. That sort of thing is even more 'full on' when they are pre-schoool age, and when you've got to the stage that older kids are, when you don't have to guarantee being home when they get in from school, or can go do a Tesco shop and elave them all in or out-it must be hard to go back to the can't go anywhere without a child in tow.

I have limited family help which is probably why feel this 'aspect' more, but the older you are, the older your parents are likely to be so there might be possible limited help there.

Both mine and my OH parents are no longer with us so we have had to do all these things on our own as well.But we have not found it a problem.In fact we get out a lot more because of the kids as they do so many activities
and so we meet lots of other parents and this has led to social occasions associated with the kids activities. As parents we help each other out looking after each others kids when we need to do things without them.I think it is a shame if people think they are getting their life back only when the kids have grown up. I can honestly say we do not feel like that.Do you not have a neighbour who could pop in while you nip to the shops?

Spendless

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Both mine and my OH parents are no longer with us so we have had to do all these things on our own as well.But we have not found it a problem.In fact we get out a lot more because of the kids as they do so many activities
and so we meet lots of other parents and this has led to social occasions associated with the kids activities. As parents we help each other out looking after each others kids when we need to do things without them.I think it is a shame if people think they are getting their life back only when the kids have grown up. I can honestly say we do not feel like that.Do you not have a neighbour who could pop in while you nip to the shops?

No, one side both work f-time the other side has health problems. The further down you go the less I know them. The mums I do know who would help live further away than the shops themselves, so that doesn't work out either. My husband works very long hours which adds to it too. Eg he is interviewing at 5.30pm in the midlands, we live in Yorkshire so 2 hours away, that means he'll come in tonight around 8-8.30ish having gone to work at 7. That's a long day when you have a child at home that you'd need to take with you.