Girlfriend moving in - sharing costs

Gloomendoom

If you are not married, can either party claim anything at all in the event of a split up? I don't think you have any automatic legal rights.

My wife is not on our mortgage and I know from experience that it doesn't make a jot of difference to what she would be entitled to if we subsequently divorce.
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elvis86

hieveryone wrote: »

From a girls point of view -

If I was your girlfriend, I'd be wondering why I'm not going to be named on the mortgage? Is there a particular reason for this i.e is she a student/bad credit etc?

Secondly, I'd be absolutely and utterly mortified if someone I was considering moving in with asked me to pay them rent. Is she a lodger with benefits or is she your life partner?

I'd be questioning your actual motives for asking your gf to move in with you - is it just that you happen to buying a place just now and have a gf, or have you planned this together?

I fundamentally disagree, I think it would be absolutely stupid for someone who has saved a deposit to surrender half of that to a partner (which, by having her named on the mortgage, the OP would essesntially be doing), and to pay a mortgage on a house that the partner (having paid nothing) would have a 50% claim to.

Just because you're in love, doesn't mean you have to lose your head and not consider the implications of your actions should you subsequently split, though unfortunately so many people do (and get stung later!).

Secondly, any partner worth their salt would be mortified at the idea of moving in and not contributing. If she objected, I'm afraid I'd be questioning her motives!:cool: (I recognise that this isn't the case with the OP). Sorry girls, but you wanted equality!:D

IMO, people have to stand by their choices and deal with the consequences. The OP's GF has decided that she wants to study, presumably she is hoping that this will enable her to earn more in the future. However, for the moment, this decision means that she's not in a position to save a deposit/buy a house.

Therefore, if she is going to move in to your house, I think its perfectly reasonable to expect her to contribute, with the money being used to pay bills/buy food etc, or preferably, if you can afford it, put into a joint savings account which can be used for something in the future (eg wedding), or towards buying a place together when she is in a position to do so.

If, heaven forbid, you split up, you split the savings between you. That way, she hasn't contributed to a house for X years and walked away with nothing.

hieveryone

elvis86 wrote: »

I fundamentally disagree, I think it would be absolutely stupid for someone who has saved a deposit to surrender half of that to a partner (which, by having her named on the mortgage, the OP would essesntially be doing), and to pay a mortgage on a house that the partner (having paid nothing) would have a 50% claim to.

Just because you're in love, doesn't mean you have to lose your head and not consider the implications of your actions should you subsequently split, though unfortunately so many people do (and get stung later!).

Secondly, any partner worth their salt would be mortified at the idea of moving in and not contributing. If she objected, I'm afraid I'd be questioning her motives!:cool: (I recognise that this isn't the case with the OP). Sorry girls, but you wanted equality!:D

IMO, people have to stand by their choices and deal with the consequences. The OP's GF has decided that she wants to study, presumably she is hoping that this will enable her to earn more in the future. However, for the moment, this decision means that she's not in a position to save a deposit/buy a house.

Therefore, if she is going to move in to your house, I think its perfectly reasonable to expect her to contribute, with the money being used to pay bills/buy food etc, or preferably, if you can afford it, put into a joint savings account which can be used for something in the future (eg wedding), or towards buying a place together when she is in a position to do so.

If, heaven forbid, you split up, you split the savings between you. That way, she hasn't contributed to a house for X years and walked away with nothing.

You didn't fundamentally disagree with anything I said then really did you?

I asked why she wasn't on the mortgage, OP explained because she is a student. OK, fair enough.

I also stated it was perfectly reasonable to contribute to bills etc, but to ask a partner to pay a 'rent' was shocking. You then mention putting money into a savings account, which I also suggested.

aqueoushumour01

youluckypanda wrote: »

But then if she wasn't OP's girlfriend she wouldn't be paying towards a morgage of her own.. So her money would already have been lost to rent?

Its a tricky one. I'm in a similar position myself. Its difficult as the GF because you want to feel like your contributing to a home, but at the same time if things with me and BF (who bought house just before we met) ended - I would never consider claiming for a proportion of what the house is worth. I am not in a position to be buying a house, I don't have a deposit, and wouldn't have one for years regardless if I had met BF or not. I would only be comfortable being put onto the morgage once we decide to get married.

My GF's in the same position. She can't put down any deposit at all. Agreed, it's tricky!

aqueoushumour01

elvis86 wrote: »

I fundamentally disagree, I think it would be absolutely stupid for someone who has saved a deposit to surrender half of that to a partner (which, by having her named on the mortgage, the OP would essesntially be doing), and to pay a mortgage on a house that the partner (having paid nothing) would have a 50% claim to.

Just because you're in love, doesn't mean you have to lose your head and not consider the implications of your actions should you subsequently split, though unfortunately so many people do (and get stung later!).

Therefore, if she is going to move in to your house, I think its perfectly reasonable to expect her to contribute, with the money being used to pay bills/buy food etc, or preferably, if you can afford it, put into a joint savings account which can be used for something in the future (eg wedding), or towards buying a place together when she is in a position to do so.

If, heaven forbid, you split up, you split the savings between you. That way, she hasn't contributed to a house for X years and walked away with nothing.

I have got that in the back of my mind - I've been saving for years for my deposit and costs of buying a place, and for 50% to potentially have to be paid away should things not work out is a real worry. It would take me years to save it back up. Things are all rosy at the mo but in six months time perhaps things might have changed, hence the forward planning so I have all bases covered .

Sounds like sharing costs in some percentage is sensible and putting excess rent into a savings account.

She wants to make it our place so will want to contribute to furniture too. What would happen if we were to break up ? I guess it would have to be split up which could get messy. Is it just best that we choose together but I buy it?

sueeve

My daughter paid rent to her boyfriend when she first moved in. He already owned the flat (in a way, i believe it was in negative equity). then gradually tings moved on, and they moved to a house in shared ownership. Then marriage and children. But I think that cautiously paying rent at the start was right for them. She was just starting work with no money and a student loan. But I think you are wise to sort things very carefully. It is people who don't who are in the crisis situations we read about on here.

HRV

I think she should definately pay a share.

My OH was buying a house when his met his now ex wife, she got on the mortgage, but never paid any mortgage or bills (beacause she earned less). Her money was for her and his was for bills and him.

Fast forward 10 years they were in 50k + of debt as when she gave up/worked part time coz of the kids she just continued spending on credit cards like she still had 'her' money.

He was naive and stupid- lost the house and is now bankrupt! I met him- and now we are both paying for it:mad: (but have a fab relationship:j)

Just a warning- she should pay her way- dont let her get in the habit of all her money being 'hers' or you could be in his position in 10 years time

Brallaqueen

Could her contribution be the furniture and the decoration? it makes a house a home, and she can take it with her if, worst case scenario, things do not go to plan. YOu have the benefit of their use and she has the benefit of the house to stage it all in.

Fluffi

A government/advice websites seem to suggest that getting a legal statement/agreement drawn up by a solicitor stating that the non-mortgaged partner moving in will have no financial interest in the property is often a good way for the sole house owner to protect their interest. As long as the agreement has no unfair terms most websites seem infer that it will protect you from any claims made by the other party in the event of a split. (For example it protects you from the girlfriend saying that her rent/savings payments were for 50% share of the property in the future). Hopefully once this agreement is in place you should be able to divide up the living costs as you see fit between the two of you with no worries about the house should you split up.

I'd get legal advice! Unromantic? Yes. Practical? Definitely.

Material_Girl_2

I second Fluffi's opinion to get some legal advice so you both know where you stand if you were to break up and perhaps get something drawn up to protect both your interests.

Then I would go with a percentage split of bills that seems fair to both of you. In your girlfriends positon I would certainly expect to pay something, even rent. After all, she would have living costs wherever she lives.

Your girlfriend seems more then willing anyway to contribute fairly and I'm sure you'll work something out.