Girlfriend moving in - sharing costs

kr15snw

So let's not call it 'rent'. Lets say she pays towards her share of the bills. Does that make it any different?

In my eyes she should be paying her way, and should not be on the mortgage. Not until she is earning and can afford a full split / you know this is a permanent relationship

Fly_Baby

kr15snw wrote: »

So let's not call it 'rent'. Lets say she pays towards her share of the bills. Does that make it any different?

In my eyes she should be paying her way, and should not be on the mortgage. Not until she is earning and can afford a full split / you know this is a permanent relationship

It does, actually. Yet bills are their joint expenses whereas mortgage is his own asset and liability. So if she is not on a mortgage she should not be contributing to this mortgage - in my eyes.

I agree with you though that at this stage she cannot expect to and shouldn't be on the mortgage.

leekat21

Hi

When I moved in to my OH's house, I had a formal rental agreement signed by both of us and I paid him rent. I paid 50% of all bills as well.

It didn't bother me how it looked to others, it was his house and mortgage only in his name. My rent to him was less than I paid to my previous landlord so I was able to save more money to put towards 'our' house when we moved. It was win win for me, I had more money and I lived with the man I loved (still do.)

I realise that it seems cold and business like, but I was happier with a rental agreement and so was he. Neither of us thought that we would split up but I understood that he wanted the protection if we had. It was his house, he saved hard for the deposit and paid the mortgage. With the money I gave him each month, he bought better furniture and we did the house up so it could be sold and we could buy together so I benefitted as well.

We have 'our' house now, don't have joint bank accounts and see no reason to have one. Perhaps this comes from both of us being quite independent. I know his bank business and he knows mine. We also had our solicitor draw up a deed of trust when we bought together because he was paying more money as the deposit than I was, this doesn't bother me either, seems perfectly fair to me!

Quite honestly, you have to do what suits you best. If having a formal rental agreement doesn't sit well with you both, don't have one. But you then have to be prepared to face the potential arguments if you did split up.

Hope that this helps see another option.

January20

Fly_Baby wrote: »

It does, actually. Yet bills are their joint expenses whereas mortgage is his own asset and liability. So if she is not on a mortgage she should not be contributing to this mortgage - in my eyes.

I agree with you though that at this stage she cannot expect to and shouldn't be on the mortgage.

Yes but she still has to pay something and anything she pays, (whether it is a certain sum of money called rent, or whether it is a share of the bills) is going to help him pay with his outgoings and therefore help him with his mortgage.

I don't really understand why anybody would be offended at being asked to pay a certain amount each month to their partner. Personnally, and having lived on my own for 10 years so I know what I'm talking about, I would be grateful for not having the stress and responsibility of bills if I was a skint student.

It may not be romantic but the OP is very sensible. I have read too many threads on here about how a once loving partner has turned into a selfish money grabbing ex.