Girlfriend moving in - sharing costs

Fly_Baby

suited-aces wrote: »

Exactly. How dare he try to get her to pay her way. She's a woman, she shouldn't have to...

It has nothing to do with not wanting to pay one's way.

But it is humiliating to be treated like a tenant by a person you share a bed with - and paying rent is exactly that.

Surely, she should be contributing - and she seems eager too - but it can be done in a more amicable way. He pays mortgage and council tax, she pays utility bills, Internet, food and whatever else she can afford (being a student) and whatever they both agree on.

She can contribute in many ways, not necessarily paying rent as such, which would add up to the same amount of money but would feel much more comfortable.

suited-aces

I'm a student, I manage to pay rent. And your suggestion of just not calling it rent is very patronising.He's her boyfriend, not a meal ticket.

pinksleepybear

Fly_Baby wrote: »

It has nothing to do with not wanting to pay one's way.

But it is humiliating to be treated like a tenant by a person you share a bed with - and paying rent is exactly that.

Rubbish, I pay rent to my partner of 10 years. I really can't see the problem.

Fly_Baby

pinksleepybear wrote: »

Rubbish, I pay rent to my partner of 10 years. I really can't see the problem.

It isn't rubbish for those who WOULD see a problem in paying rent to own partner of 10 years.

Fly_Baby

suited-aces wrote: »

I'm a student, I manage to pay rent. And your suggestion of just not calling it rent is very patronising.He's her boyfriend, not a meal ticket.

He is not her landlord either. They are going to live together not because she needs a place to live but because he wants his girlfriend to be with him (and so does she). What happens if he is in trouble and cannot pay his mortgage? Should she give him 1 month notice and move out?

To each their own, anyway.

Any

blabberwort wrote: »

I dont understand where all this protecting themselves has come from

I think you haven't had your fingers burned enough yet...
They are very young, she is still at Uni and her world changes all the time.. This relationship doesn't seem "established" enough if you like for him taking such a high risk (ie puttin her on the mortgage)

suited-aces

Fly_Baby wrote: »

He is not her landlord either. They are going to live together not because she needs a place to live but because he wants his girlfriend to be with him (and so does she). What happens if he is in trouble and cannot pay his mortgage? Should she give him 1 month notice and move out?

To each their own, anyway.

If she's going to be living with him, she should be contributing to the costs. And regardless of how you classify things, housing is still going to be one of those costs.

blabberwort

Any wrote: »

I think you haven't had your fingers burned enough yet...
They are very young, she is still at Uni and her world changes all the time.. This relationship doesn't seem "established" enough if you like for him taking such a high risk (ie puttin her on the mortgage)

Well for a start my OH had his own flat, I was never put on the mortgage because we both felt there was little point as I contributed what I could and vice versa. 7 years down the line we seperated (admittedly got back together, however that wasnt for 18 months and during the majority of that time we had no intention of doing so). I would have been entitled to a good share of his flat but the thought never crossed my mind. Despite us having a daughter together.

I think it's all about trust at the end of the day, I agree he shouldnt need to put her on the mortgage, but the way i'm reading it some people are suggesting that if they are together for a couple of years or so and split up she should not be entitled to a share. If she has contributed towards upkeep etc then I think she's quite entitled to a share. Hence why I dont understand the need for people to protect themselves, if you move in together then regardless of who earns most surely it should be a partnership even if not on paper e.g the mortgage.

samandona

People need to protect themselves because no matter how peachy the relationship is at the moment, if it ends it can get nasty. People are selfish, and they always want whatever they can get. My BF has experienced this first hand...
His father died, he inherited a LARGE sum of money. The money was used to buy a new car. His gf at the time suggested the car be put in her name because she had more years no claims or some other rubbish like that. Anyway, now they have split she is demanding half the money for the car despite not paying ANYTHING towards it.
He was naive and to an extent brought the situation on himself. No doubt, he never expected their relationship to end. But it did. And now it has cost him most of the £25k his dad left to him.

Fly_Baby

suited-aces wrote: »

If she's going to be living with him, she should be contributing to the costs. And regardless of how you classify things, housing is still going to be one of those costs.

It doesn't cost him any more in mortgage payments to have her living with him. Why would he charge her rent - out of principle?

True, she would be paying rent elsewhere - but elsewhere she would not be keeping her landlord's house tidy, she wouldn't be cooking his meals, she wouldn't stop seeing other men and she certainly wouldn't be sleeping with him!