Girlfriend moving in - sharing costs

hieveryone

aqueoushumour01 wrote: »

that could be an option. I am wondering whether it would be a sensible idea to have a separate account that we both pay into for these things. She doesn't earn as much as me and I feel bad about her paying half. But she hates feeling like she's not paying her share and wants to go halves on everything! I'm not even sure it's fair for her to pay half of everything as the mortgage will be my responsibility so I should really be paying that.

If she doesn't earn as much as you then what about splitting it percentage wise? So splitting it 70/30 or so and working it out that way. As you say, she'll be paying rent if she lives somewhere else anyway.

So if it works out that she'll pay say £200 for the mortgage and £200 for bills, she'd pay £400 into your account and you transfer £200 into a savings a/c.

aqueoushumour01

hieveryone wrote: »

If she doesn't earn as much as you then what about splitting it percentage wise? So splitting it 70/30 or so and working it out that way. As you say, she'll be paying rent if she lives somewhere else anyway.

So if it works out that she'll pay say £200 for the mortgage and £200 for bills, she'd pay £400 into your account and you transfer £200 into a savings a/c.

in theory that could work well but there will be no convincing her that she should pay less than me! She's a stubbon one lol...but at the same time I understand as she wants to going into this as equals.

hieveryone

aqueoushumour01 wrote: »

in theory that could work well but there will be no convincing her that she should pay less than me! She's a stubbon one lol...but at the same time I understand as she wants to going into this as equals.

In that case I'd definitely put the money she pays into a savings account - whether you tell her or not is up to you. She sounds very honourable in insisting to pay half, however if she doesn't earn much she might realise she's bitten off more than she can chew and you can always offer to lower it again.

Person_one

If she feels strongly about paying her fair share I'd push the percentage option. You work out what your total joint income is and then what percentage you each bring in. Then you split the outgoings the same way, whether that's 50/50 or 80/20. A lot of long standing couples do this, even on things like cars and holidays as it ensures they have an equal lifestyle, equal ability to save and equal sense of contributing.

Its socialism in miniature, "from each according to their ability"!

LJM

why dont you work it out in a simpler way you pay the morgage she pays percentage of bills and buys the food this mounts up over time to a reasonable amount. i think you are sensible to forward plan but can i just say that remember she is your girlfriend and not a lodger, asking for rent may seem a bit strange if you say as i said before either bills/food/or buying things for the house it may seem a bit more like a place for you both even though it is only in your name.

xxvickixx

I don't see why she can't be on the mortgage? I don't work but I'm still on the joint mortgage with my DH as the sole earner. Unless you get a lower multiple of a combined salary which wouldn't allow you to borrow enough?
It's a very tricky one as if you split up in year one then it's probably fair that you walk away with the house, but say it was after 5 years of the rental arrangement, she's not going to have anything.

I had a similar dilema when my boyfriend and I bought our first house. We'd only been together about 6 months and I had a large deposit, he had nothing. I said to him that if we split within 3 years then the deposit would be all mine, and we'd split any remaining equity. After 3 years or if we were married it would be irrelevant and we would split the house 50%. We both agreed that it was only fair that I protected my money as it was early in the relationship and I think the time periods were reasonable.
We've been married 6 years this year so I guess I won't be getting my deposit back now lol!

threemuttleys

FWIW, I moved into the Oh's (he owns this place, and had done for a few years before we met)

When I moved in, I was working full time (on a decent wage) so, I paid an amount towards the house (our home) I was on, something like 1500 per month, so I paid £400 to him, and then I paid for most of our food.

Fast forward nearly 4 years, and Im now working part time, and am pregnant...(which is something the OP would have to take into account...what would happen if at any point his OH ends up not working/preggers?)
So now (while I am still working) I dont pay anything, instead all of my money is being saved for when Blumpy arrives, and we are living on his wages...is very very very tight, but we will live)

youluckypanda

Person_one wrote: »

The problem with that is that if they had split up before she was earning the decent wage, she'd have been paying half the mortgage on a house she had no claim to and would have lost it all.

But then if she wasn't OP's girlfriend she wouldn't be paying towards a morgage of her own.. So her money would already have been lost to rent?

Its a tricky one. I'm in a similar position myself. Its difficult as the GF because you want to feel like your contributing to a home, but at the same time if things with me and BF (who bought house just before we met) ended - I would never consider claiming for a proportion of what the house is worth. I am not in a position to be buying a house, I don't have a deposit, and wouldn't have one for years regardless if I had met BF or not. I would only be comfortable being put onto the morgage once we decide to get married.

I would say the 70/30 percentage is the best route. I'd use this money in whatever way is most useful to you - whether that is towards morgage/bills or into a savings account that you can both make use of later in life.

Good luck OP!

Any

Person_one wrote: »

The problem with that is that if they had split up before she was earning the decent wage, she'd have been paying half the mortgage on a house she had no claim to and would have lost it all.

If your girlfriend is on a low income right now, surely the kindest and most loving thing ( I assume you love her) is to just go halves on the bills and food and pay your own mortgage yourself. She might even be able to save a little bit so she has a cushion if things go wrong in your relationship. If things go right she can be added to the mortgage later on.

You'll be no worse off, as the house will be solely your asset and you'll be paying the same as if you lived there alone. Loving your partner enough to want them to be ok even if you stop loving them (or the other way around) at some point, is as selfless as you can get.

I completely agree with the above. If she pays you towards the mortgage, she will have a claim on the house. The only way to avoid it would be to actually write up an agreement!! Real tenant agreement. Not the most romantic think to do, is it?

You are only just moving in together, big step in a relationship and it might not go as planned. After a while you will know whether everything is going O.K. so when she starts working she can start contributing and you can put her on the mortgage (or marry her, nearly the same thing:-))

SkipE

When my DH and I met he had his own house and some savings and I had nothing. We bought a house together. We drew up a seperate legal agreement that if we seperated he would get all his money back and we would just split the rest. He had worked very hard for his house and his savings and I agreed I had no right to claim on it.

I do agree that in your situation putting the money she pays into a seperate account is the best option. If it all goes wrong you have that money there to pay her back or if it all goes well you have that money there to pay for a wedding!!!