Girlfriend moving in - sharing costs

aqueoushumour01

I'm going to be buying a place, put down the deposit, take out the mortgage in my name etc as my girlfriend cannot afford to buy with me. I want my girlfriend to move in with me but, being the forward planner that I am, I want to know what will result financially should things not work out.

In the first scenario, we split things like electricity, food, internet and other 'consumable expenses'. I pay 100% of the mortgage and she will be paying me some rent. I pay for everything else - maintenance, furniture etc....Now, if she wasn't moving in I would be paying the mortgage anyway but should she be paying something too? She currently pays rent where she lives so should I charge her a rent?

In the second scenario, we share maintenance, furniture costs too to make it more 'our' place rather than just my place. I will still have actually bought the house and put down the deposit. But, if we were to split up (I can't see it happening but who knows?) would she be entitled to any part of the actual house over and above things like furniture? What about under the first scenario? Should I be paying maintenance as, after all, it will be my house and I don't want to be unfair in any way?

Any help would be appreciated! Not the most romantic questions to ask and I want to be certain in my mind of the implications should the worst happen

hieveryone

From a girls point of view -

If I was your girlfriend, I'd be wondering why I'm not going to be named on the mortgage? Is there a particular reason for this i.e is she a student/bad credit etc?

Secondly, I'd be absolutely and utterly mortified if someone I was considering moving in with asked me to pay them rent. Is she a lodger with benefits or is she your life partner?

I'd be questioning your actual motives for asking your gf to move in with you - is it just that you happen to buying a place just now and have a gf, or have you planned this together?

aqueoushumour01

Thanks. She's a student and has no income. I've got a good deposit and am ready to move out of parents'. If she were working we'd be buying together.

On your second point, absolutely agreed. I don't want it to seem like she's paying a rent. If we were buying together then we'd go halves on the mortgage definitely. So I should be paying 100% of mortgage then and she wouldn't contribute at all?

We discussed it together. I'll be moving out (of parents') at some point and we're at a stage where it feels right to move in together. Under no circumstances do I want to take advantage at all. I want it all to be fair but am unsure how to make it fair. It's unfortunate she can't afford to buy with me as it would make things a lot simpler as everything would be 50%!

sindygirl58

If you want to buy a house all for yourself, dont dare ask her for rent! Its cheeky and insulting to your girlfriend.

hieveryone

One of my friends was in the same situation as yourself a few years back.

What she did was pay 'halfers' into everything as normal, on the understanding that she would be added to the mortgage as soon as she was earning a decent wage, which they have done. Now everything is as equal as equal can be.

aqueoushumour01

hieveryone wrote: »

One of my friends was in the same situation as yourself a few years back.

What she did was pay 'halfers' into everything as normal, on the understanding that she would be added to the mortgage as soon as she was earning a decent wage, which they have done. Now everything is as equal as equal can be.

thanks. yes, that sounds like a good idea. this will to be some years away for us though as she's at the start of her studies. I have been working and saving, and am a touch older too so am in a different place financially at the mo. It's more complicated than I thought lol .

looby-loo_2

I think you are very sensible to think like this. Never know what might happen. If know one comes with a better answer perhaps you should go along to the Citizens Advise Center

This might not be the same but a man I worked with bought a house for his son at uni* as he was to be there for 5+ years. Year 2 his girlfriend moved in. Year 6 they split up and she was entitled to 1/2 the profit on the house which because at the time house prices were rising so fast meant he lost the house. She had paid nothing in rent so it was considered shared (or joint, I don't know the term) but if she had paid even a nominal £5 month rent and had a contract/ something in writing she would have got nothing

Good luck anyway, I hope it does work out.

Actually, he paid the deposit and the son paid the mortgage with his weekend job

hieveryone

aqueoushumour01 wrote: »

thanks. yes, that sounds like a good idea. this will to be some years away for us though as she's at the start of her studies. I have been working and saving, and am a touch older too so am in a different place financially at the mo. It's more complicated than I thought lol .

Does she work part time I take it?

How about - charge her a 'rent' i.e half the mortgage, bills etc as usual, stick it in a savings account and you pay the mortgage as normal.

Should the worst happen and you split, you'll have a lump sum sitting there to 'buy her out'. If not and everything's going well etc, you'll have money sitting there for a holiday/wedding/baby

Person_one

hieveryone wrote: »

One of my friends was in the same situation as yourself a few years back.

What she did was pay 'halfers' into everything as normal, on the understanding that she would be added to the mortgage as soon as she was earning a decent wage, which they have done. Now everything is as equal as equal can be.

The problem with that is that if they had split up before she was earning the decent wage, she'd have been paying half the mortgage on a house she had no claim to and would have lost it all.

If your girlfriend is on a low income right now, surely the kindest and most loving thing ( I assume you love her) is to just go halves on the bills and food and pay your own mortgage yourself. She might even be able to save a little bit so she has a cushion if things go wrong in your relationship. If things go right she can be added to the mortgage later on.

You'll be no worse off, as the house will be solely your asset and you'll be paying the same as if you lived there alone. Loving your partner enough to want them to be ok even if you stop loving them (or the other way around) at some point, is as selfless as you can get.

aqueoushumour01

hieveryone wrote: »

Does she work part time I take it?

How about - charge her a 'rent' i.e half the mortgage, bills etc as usual, stick it in a savings account and you pay the mortgage as normal.

Should the worst happen and you split, you'll have a lump sum sitting there to 'buy her out'. If not and everything's going well etc, you'll have money sitting there for a holiday/wedding/baby

that could be an option. I am wondering whether it would be a sensible idea to have a separate account that we both pay into for these things. She doesn't earn as much as me and I feel bad about her paying half. But she hates feeling like she's not paying her share and wants to go halves on everything! I'm not even sure it's fair for her to pay half of everything as the mortgage will be my responsibility so I should really be paying that.

aqueoushumour01

Person_one wrote: »

The problem with that is that if they had split up before she was earning the decent wage, she'd have been paying half the mortgage on a house she had no claim to and would have lost it all.

If your girlfriend is on a low income right now, surely the kindest and most loving thing ( I assume you love her) is to just go halves on the bills and food and pay your own mortgage yourself. She might even be able to save a little bit so she has a cushion if things go wrong in your relationship. If things go right she can be added to the mortgage later on.

You'll be no worse off, as the house will be solely your asset and you'll be paying the same as if you lived there alone. Loving your partner enough to want them to be ok even if you stop loving them (or the other way around) at some point, is as selfless as you can get.

yes that's what I was thinking too. From my girlfriends's perspective, the idea of paying nothing on the mortgage is unthinkable as she feels everything should be shared equally as she'd be living there. I need to somehow better explain that I'd be paying the mortgage anyway so she wouldn't owe me anything for that part of it, only things like food etc... I've tried explaining that but failed miserably lol.