When is the best month to have a baby?

coolcait

Haven't read the thread, but have only one comment to make - based on family experience:

the best month to have a baby is the month it is due.

You can make all the starry-eyed plans you want; you might even be lucky enough to conceive at the time you have deemed to be the 'best' - and spare a thought for those who are still trying.

You have no say over when the baby comes. It might be too early for it to survive. The birth might be right on the cusp of survival or not - and you'll have months of worry about your baby making it, and years of worry about him or her having any side effects from the premature birth.

I accept that you probably made your post in that happy afterglow of deciding that you're going to try for a baby, and I do wish you all the best. And I hope that you are blessed with the luck of conceiving quickly and having a problem-free pregnancy and birth.

The fact is that it doesn't work out that way for everyone. Many couples struggle to conceive; not all babies go to full-term. Etc.

Given all of that, your post was a bit tactless at best.

cleopatra4485

9 months out of 12 you are going through most of the seasons anyway. So just get down and dirty :rotfl:it may take a little while, so you can't really plan. Good luck

cleopatra4485

May I add and will probably get shot, but ladies that are finding it hard to conceive, please do not spread negativity, the lady was just asking a general question, she has butteries, is up late and just fancies talking about it, I am sure she didn't mean to upset anyone. Its just small talk.

P.S I hope all those ttc have the luck they deserve soon, one of my friends who has been trying for a year has just found out she is pregnant and another that was trying for 3 also has found out, there is hope :cool:

ktj

Hi, Definitly early Oct. - this will give "him" the best chance at school 'cos he'll be one of the oldest in the class. Good luck! ktj.

bestpud

cleopatra4485 wrote: »

May I add and will probably get shot, but ladies that are finding it hard to conceive, please do not spread negativity, the lady was just asking a general question, she has butteries, is up late and just fancies talking about it, I am sure she didn't mean to upset anyone. Its just small talk.

P.S I hope all those ttc have the luck they deserve soon, one of my friends who has been trying for a year has just found out she is pregnant and another that was trying for 3 also has found out, there is hope :cool:

You took the words right out of my mouth!!

While I agree it makes no sense to have firm plans for something we can only partially control, I don't think the op should feel a sense of guilt for asking! I certainly don't think she needs to go and read the ttc boards to get some perspective either - that is only one side of the coin.

Some women (I'm one of them) could easily plan a pregnancy as I've conceived the same month three times - one of them folllowing a one off mishap.

Don't be disheartened op as you are more likely to have no problems at all.

Planning makes sense so long as you don't get hung up on it!

tiamai_d

cleopatra4485 wrote: »

May I add and will probably get shot, but ladies that are finding it hard to conceive, please do not spread negativity, the lady was just asking a general question, she has butteries, is up late and just fancies talking about it, I am sure she didn't mean to upset anyone. Its just small talk.

P.S I hope all those ttc have the luck they deserve soon, one of my friends who has been trying for a year has just found out she is pregnant and another that was trying for 3 also has found out, there is hope :cool:

I agree. We tried for 18 months and nothing happened (there is a question as to whether I had a mc, fortunately I don't have any bad feelings about it). Yet I have a SIL who can literally stop the pill one month and conceive the next. Everyone is different and a girl can dream after all.

mistrihelen

cleopatra4485 wrote: »

May I add and will probably get shot, but ladies that are finding it hard to conceive, please do not spread negativity, the lady was just asking a general question, she has butteries, is up late and just fancies talking about it, I am sure she didn't mean to upset anyone. Its just small talk.

P.S I hope all those ttc have the luck they deserve soon, one of my friends who has been trying for a year has just found out she is pregnant and another that was trying for 3 also has found out, there is hope :cool:

I think talking about those struggling 'spreading negativity' is worse - it makes it sound like negativity is catching or something and that those ttcing are best avoiding.

Though currently pregnant, I was one of those who just said you can't always plan - and that's entirely what I meant. I think sometimes people do get too focused on the 'perfect' time which frequently leads to disappointment. So it's not saying 'we struggled so you'll struggle' but more just don't make it difficult for yourself in the first place.

p.s I know you mean well (just like me and the other the 'negative' people) but I used to find stories of hope really pointless, unless it was a situation that directly applied to me.

dizziblonde

mistrihelen wrote: »

I think talking about those struggling 'spreading negativity' is worse - it makes it sound like negativity is catching or something and that those ttcing are best avoiding.

Though currently pregnant, I was one of those who just said you can't always plan - and that's entirely what I meant. I think sometimes people do get too focused on the 'perfect' time which frequently leads to disappointment. So it's not saying 'we struggled so you'll struggle' but more just don't make it difficult for yourself in the first place.

p.s I know you mean well (just like me and the other the 'negative' people) but I used to find stories of hope really pointless, unless it was a situation that directly applied to me.

We all know that infertility's this evil thing you catch if you talk about it!

No, I'm not going to apologize for mentioning that life doesn't turn out as you plan it to. Why the hell should I? I posted in a very calm manner pointing out how things change as you wait and wait.

HOW DARE YOU EXPECT US TO APOLOGIZE FOR DARING TO TALK ABOUT HOW HIDEOUSLY PAINFUL INFERTILITY IS!??"!?!?!?! We already all hide away too much, hide horrific pain away behind smiles after joyful announcement after joyful announcement. We feel acutely that we don't fit into the convenient world's plan - and we're disadvantaged, made to feel like second class citizens, constantly locked out in favour of the "family friendly" world we live in.... and daring to turn around and say, "wait a minute - it's not as simple as 'insert todger... cook for 9 months... recieve baby'" and WE'RE being talked down to and made to feel like !!!! for it?!

Notice how it's those who had life fall how they'd planned who are the ones trying to keep the infertile girls in line here isn't it... charming.

Report me if you like - ban me if you want to cos I swore - I don't actually care. But don't you DARE make ONE SINGLE WOMAN feel worse than they do because they suffer from infertility. YOU DO NOT HAVE THAT RIGHT.

galvanizersbaby

mistrihelen wrote: »

I think talking about those struggling 'spreading negativity' is worse - it makes it sound like negativity is catching or something and that those ttcing are best avoiding.

Though currently pregnant, I was one of those who just said you can't always plan - and that's entirely what I meant. I think sometimes people do get too focused on the 'perfect' time which frequently leads to disappointment. So it's not saying 'we struggled so you'll struggle' but more just don't make it difficult for yourself in the first place.

p.s I know you mean well (just like me and the other the 'negative' people) but I used to find stories of hope really pointless, unless it was a situation that directly applied to me.

Sometimes this can happen but other times not - some people don't struggle to concieve so they are not disappointed.
I think there's nothing wrong with others pointing out that there is no perfect time and things don't always go to plan but at the same time I feel it's a bit harsh for the OP to be told that her post is tactless and to just be thankfull if she can get pregnant.:(

galvanizersbaby

dizziblonde wrote: »

We all know that infertility's this evil thing you catch if you talk about it!

No, I'm not going to apologize for mentioning that life doesn't turn out as you plan it to. Why the hell should I? I posted in a very calm manner pointing out how things change as you wait and wait.

HOW DARE YOU EXPECT US TO APOLOGIZE FOR DARING TO TALK ABOUT HOW HIDEOUSLY PAINFUL INFERTILITY IS!??"!?!?!?! We already all hide away too much, hide horrific pain away behind smiles after joyful announcement after joyful announcement. We feel acutely that we don't fit into the convenient world's plan - and we're disadvantaged, made to feel like second class citizens, constantly locked out in favour of the "family friendly" world we live in.... and daring to turn around and say, "wait a minute - it's not as simple as 'insert todger... cook for 9 months... recieve baby'" and WE'RE being talked down to and made to feel like !!!! for it?!

Notice how it's those who had life fall how they'd planned who are the ones trying to keep the infertile girls in line here isn't it... charming.

Report me if you like - ban me if you want to cos I swore - I don't actually care. But don't you DARE make ONE SINGLE WOMAN feel worse than they do because they suffer from infertility. YOU DO NOT HAVE THAT RIGHT.

I'm not sure why you've quoted mistrihelen's post - I don't think she was trying to put anyone down?
I'm not sure anyone was 'trying to keep the infertile girls in line' as you put it either.
I for one just thought it was a bit harsh the OP being told her post was tactless and being made to feel she had done something wrong by trying to plan the best month to have a baby.