How long do you wait for a proposal???

Tammer

Yeah, agree with the above post. Having a baby is a much bigger commitment than getting married.

Re. the OP, maybe he's worried about the cost. Is he going to have to pay for it all? He's probably weighing up the £15,000 for the ring and wedding versus spending it on the house or on the car etc.

squirrelchops

OH and have talked about kids and marriage and all that. We are going to start trying for a baby after Christmas ish but the marriage thing is a different matter!! OH is really anti marriage....I still can't exactly work out why! However we talk about everything, we are going to have a child (I haven't pressured him at all as in fact that freaks me out 100 times more than him). He has moved house twice for me for Uni and work and we are buying our first house together properly soon.

So all in all......why do I need the big 'do'.........I don't! Would rather spend the £15k or whatever daft amount people spend on other things!

Oh and what I meant to say was that OP you seem rather fixated on planning everything...almost to the control freak level....just relax and let it be.

LJM

i have to agree like myself and others if you have a house rent or morgage/kids and bills getting married can seem like a huge expense that at the moment in time is financially not viable,why put yourself in debt if you are happy the way you are.i know some peeps say that a wedding doesnt have to be expensive but by the time you have paid for license/outfit/rings etc plus more it all builds up

Treacly

smorri4 wrote: »

hello all,

before i start i want to get a few things straight.
1. this post is not for advice as i know what my plan is, i just want to hear others experiences and views are on engagement.
2. i love my boyfriend dearly - we have been together for 7 years and i seriously cannot imagine or want to imagine my life without him.

Seems like you're getting plenty of advice, even though you said you didn't want it!

Forgive me if I play devil's advocate, because someone's got to:

Actions speak louder than words. You have proposed to your boyfriend (more than once I think) and each time he has fobbed you off. He's a real catch (gorgeous, funny, clever etc etc). Maybe you just have to take things at face value - he hasn't proposed because he doesn't want to marry you and he's hoping either a) you'll chill out and stop going on and on about it, or b) he'll meet someone who's as gorgeous as he is and then he'll propose to her.

Sorry - you did ask for opinions and observations, and in my observation people generally do want they want and if he wanted to propose to you - he would.

iamana1ias

Why do people assume that "marriage" = ££££££££?

"Wedding" can cost £250 or £250k but "marriage" is actually free.

iamana1ias

squirrelchops wrote: »

OH and have talked about kids and marriage and all that. We are going to start trying for a baby after Christmas ish but the marriage thing is a different matter!! OH is really anti marriage....I still can't exactly work out why! However we talk about everything, we are going to have a child (I haven't pressured him at all as in fact that freaks me out 100 times more than him). He has moved house twice for me for Uni and work and we are buying our first house together properly soon.

So all in all......why do I need the big 'do'.........I don't! Would rather spend the £15k or whatever daft amount people spend on other things!

Oh and what I meant to say was that OP you seem rather fixated on planning everything...almost to the control freak level....just relax and let it be.

Then don't have a big do. Go to the registry office in your jeans and get hitched for £200. Give your kids a stable home.

aylithuk

OP I understand where your coming from. I will be honest and say when i see my friends getting married/having babes/buying a house I start thinking why me and my boyfriend of 5 years don't even have one of those things yet.

I am 29 and he's 30 and he's told me he's just not ready for any of that as right now eating out at expensive restaurants 3 time a month, going on holiday 2 x a year and generally enjoying life together with no pressure is just purr-fect right now.

Try looking at the happy parts of your relationship and enjoy what you having because when you least expect it I am sure it will happen.

squirrelchops

iamana1ias wrote: »

Then don't have a big do. Go to the registry office in your jeans and get hitched for £200. Give your kids a stable home.

Marriage does not equal a stable home in this day and age where people enter into marriage without thinking it through and get divorced even quicker!!!!

I take you point regarding cost though.

retro_bluebell

iamana1ias wrote: »

Then don't have a big do. Go to the registry office in your jeans and get hitched for £200. Give your kids a stable home.

Erm excuse me???????!!!

What a load of complete tripe! I have 3 kids and am not and have never been married and Im happily settled with my Oh, we have a lovely home and a stable lifestyle for our kids...both my mum and dad have been married and divorced 3 times each...I dont see how getting married automatically creates a "stable" environment!

iamana1ias

retro_bluebell wrote: »

Erm excuse me???????!!!

What a load of complete tripe! I have 3 kids and am not and have never been married and Im happily settled with my Oh, we have a lovely home and a stable lifestyle for our kids...both my mum and dad have been married and divorced 3 times each...I dont see how getting married automatically creates a "stable" environment!

It doesn't.

I work with some very difficult children and can't fail to notice that very very often the parents are 'seperated' or dad is absent. In my experience, through work and seeing friends' relationships, it's a lot easier to walk away if you're not married.