'Kicking' children out at 16...view please

[Deleted User]

I would not have kicked mine out at 16 but they were not causing too much trouble and a parent might think otherwise if they had a very disruptive child. As for the age - 16 is when they leave school and can start work. Also social services (in my experience) cease to have any interest in a child that has been experiencing difficulties when they turn 16

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Because one of the first things 'professionals' say to a stroppy kid who is miffed that she can't sleep with her boyfriend in the same room as her 10 year old sister everynight is that she should move out, as she's a grown up now.

serena

squirrelchops wrote: »

I agree very much with your comment thorsoak.

I have been exploring 'adolescence' and the social construction of this as a term. I have also been look at rites of passage and what the phase from childhood to adulthood really means in 21st century UK culture.

I was interested in the comments above about other family members and when they left home. My grandmother also went into service very young; my father had to leave school and work after his school cert (15?I think) - he was an articled clerk, so doing training as well rather than just work,whereas my mother was the first generation of our family to go on to higher education, and I was the first to go to uni - effectively when I left home. My own children will probably leave when they go to uni.

I had the impression that childhood was a fairly recent invention, and adolescence an even more recent one - maybe from the 60's? Perhaps related to relatively more wealth?

One of the disadvantaged and under performing groups now is defined as 'poor white male'. I'm also interested in the fact that education is not now seen as a way out of that poverty - which it clearly was for my grandparents.

I think I'll have to do some research of my own! I'm interested now...:D

ps as a teacher, there are a few teenagers I'd quite like to send down a mine or up a chimney...;)

JBD

Sorry, haven't read through the whole thread, so I don't know if I am repeating anything that anyone else has said.
I have a 21 year old living at home. I would never kick him out unless he caused serious problems eg drug/alcohol abuse. I have younger children and their safety and well being takes priority. If he ever compromised this then he would be on the pavement in a heartbeat, although this situation has never arose. He doesn't bring guests/girlfriends home either as we don't have enough space, so it's up to him to make his own arrangements.
As far as I am concerned, my children are entitled to live here for as long as they want but it is under my rules. If they want to live their own lives then they really have to become independent and get their own homes. As far as I am concerned a young person is capable of living independently and controlling their own lives from age 16.

candygirl

I can't get over the idea of kicking them out at any age:eek:Having said that I was lucky in that my DD chose to leave home to go to uni at 18, and despite coming back when she was pregnant and had split with her bf, she has been relatively independent since then:DPerish the thought of her ever living here again:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Her living on the same road is near enough:eek::eek:

rubytuesday

Summersmile sorry to hear that but she will probably be home before too long. Hope so x

thorsoak

Actually, I'm now at the other end of the specturm .....#1 son (aged 42) moved back in with us when his marriage broke down ......six months after #3 son had moved out ....:D

#1 son is about to move out again - to his own place - ....does that leave vacancy for #2 son or #1 daughter?????? I sincerely hope not!!!

So, for 42 years' we've only been on our own for 6 months!

gizmo111

serena wrote: »

I had the impression that childhood was a fairly recent invention, and adolescence an even more recent one - maybe from the 60's? Perhaps related to relatively more wealth?

One of the disadvantaged and under performing groups now is defined as 'poor white male'. I'm also interested in the fact that education is not now seen as a way out of that poverty - which it clearly was for my grandparents.

I think I'll have to do some research of my own! I'm interested now...:D

ps as a teacher, there are a few teenagers I'd quite like to send down a mine or up a chimney...;)

There is a very good book on the construction of childhood and social policy - I'm just off out now but I'll dig it out tomorrow and give you the details.

Mme.Hibou

thorsoak wrote: »

Actually, I'm now at the other end of the specturm .....#1 son (aged 42) moved back in with us when his marriage broke down ......six months after #3 son had moved out ....:D

#1 son is about to move out again - to his own place - ....does that leave vacancy for #2 son or #1 daughter?????? I sincerely hope not!!!

So, for 42 years' we've only been on our own for 6 months!

I actually think this is brilliant, really made me smile (and DH too). We've just said after reading this that we'd love to bring up our children in an environment where we are all perfectly comfortable in each other's company irrespective of age.

I can't imagine it's always been easy, but that's what family is: always having four walls: always having a home.

It's where the heart is, isn't it?

TUS

My children will leave home when the time is right. I left home at 18 after working FT for 1 year and saving up a considerable amount of £. My parents wouldn't accept money for rent as they knew my ambitions. So I moved out at 18, moved into a shared house and got a decent job. It kick started my independence. But my parents were thoroughly supportive throughout and had I wanted to return home I'm sure I could have.

You have to play it by ear - each child and their needs/ability to fend for themselves differs.