'Kicking' children out at 16...view please

squirrelchops

Hi all,

I have tried to be succinct in the thread title but there is a bit more to it than that so please bear with me.

I am actually working in social care and was looking for views on how people see responsibilities, as parents to 16 year old children.

I have come across parents who have said 'when they get to 16 that's it...they are out the door' or words to that effect to due to family breakdown. Or when I have spoken to homeless 16 year olds they tell stories of how literally a few days after their birthday they came home to find their bags packed for them.

Given that by law children are children until 18 and heve there remains a parental responsibility until 18 I was wondering where the view of 'kicking' childrne out at 16 has come from?

Is it because people link 16 with end of education and being able to work full time hence can 'fend for themselves' or do people think there are enough supported housing etc to house 16-18 years or is it that people think 16 should be the age for when one becomes an 'adult'???

Any views would be gratefully received as I am doing a large project on this and hence viewpoints would be great.

Thanks

lilac_lady

While there's a lot of vulnerable children who need a family home at 16 and are forced to leave, there's some who can't wait to "do their own thing". My niece was one of them. She left home at 16, went to social services and ended up sharing a flat with a couple of others the same age.

She came back home within 6 months once she realised how good her home life was compared to the big, bad world out there.

I'm sorry for the youngsters who genuinely need to leave home but don't believe everything a teenager says every time.

My niece is settled with a family of her own now but it took a terrible toll on my sister at the time.

squirrelchops

Thanks for that reply. She was, in my opinion VERY lucky to get housed just like that. Where I live the services for this age range are very limited.

I am talking more about the ones who don't have a choice and it is the parents who kick them out. The 2 examples I gave are young people with whom I work and hence I know the families and their situations well.

pigpen

I always told DS1 he would come home from school on his 16th birthday to find his bags packed and an address on a piece of paper and a key.. as it was he was 17 and he went to my mothers! he now at 18 has his own place we helped sort for him etc and lives there with his gf and son..

If they want to go you can't stop them... nature of the beaast means they only ever tell you their version of events.. the truth being if they behaved half as disgustingly as mine did they are lucky to still be breathing.. and so long as the family support is still there to help them out if they need it or show them how to do things like budgetting, paying bills etc I don't think it matters where they live. If the family have kicked them out and want nothing more to do with them I'd be questioning what the 16 y/o's had done to warrant it.

DD1 by comparison is staying here until she is 25 she said... her I MAY kick out!!

julie03

i would like to ask you if the law says that children are children till they are 18, why my sister was told by social services that she should let her then 14 year old son make adult decisions, and she should let him do whatever he wants, including staying out all night to sleep with his 14 year old GF whenever he wants, or otherwise he can leave home and live with his GF and his mum and is allowed to cut ties with all his family and my sister has no rights whatsoever

my sister took her responsibilities very seriously and still has a 21 yr old living home, the only reason he gave for not staying at home was my sister doesnt take him on holiday and wouldnt let him stay out during the week, and social services supported this fully

squirrelchops

Hi thanks for that pigpen.

But why 16...that is my real question I suppose. What as a parent means that 16 is seen as the marker of when children can be asked to leave and not 18 when, in the eyes of the law parental responsiblity ends?

thanks

lilac_lady

squirrelchops wrote: »

Thanks for that reply. She was, in my opinion VERY lucky to get housed just like that. Where I live the services for this age range are very limited.

I am talking more about the ones who don't have a choice and it is the parents who kick them out. The 2 examples I gave are young people with whom I work and hence I know the families and their situations well.

This happened nearly 20 years ago. I don't think that housing would be so available now.

Ladyhawk

I think it is attrocious to even consider of putting a child on the street at 16. It is just so incredibly sad that their are "parents" who don't care enough to want to help and support their children.

squirrelchops

Thanks for that julie03. I don't want to get into a discourse about other related issues as I really am intrigued by people's attitudes to 16 -18 year olds in our society.

I would say though that I dont find that an acceptable response to your nephews situation.

jackieb

I can't understand people who kick their own children out at 16. Even if they'd behaved like brats, wouldn't you be worried about what they were doing when you couldn't keep an eye on them?

squirrelchops

Hi lilac-lady..my point exactly. Housing is very difficult to access for 16-18 year olds. Housing are now batting it off to SS and vice versa due to the Southwark Ruling. There are many arguments over who is responsible to house the child.

So ladyhawk....why do people do it???? Yes I have seen situations where the child has caused total family breakdown but I also know families who just dont want to be responsible for their children any more from 16 or if they think they aren't getting anough money for their 16 year old then they will chuck them out. Sad, crazy but true.